year in review 2021

[mandas_tutu]

Wow, How have things been going? Well I am doing my year in review at the latest stage I EVER have. and last year's didn't go so well b/c I had to stop due to termoile.   Guess its like doing taxes, need to get done by april 30th.

HA. I THINK IM FUNNY. not as funny as 2021.
Honestly, considering what life through at me that year, I fucking did good. but God. Was it a year.

In no order:

• It would honestly be hard not to define this year in any other way: It was the end of a very big relationship and as you can read in past posts, it was fucking hard on me. He tool a job up north and it symbolized how much things werent working. (Thought I didn't really think it was that bad... class amanda probelm i guess). This efffected the rest of the year. I think it happened feb 25. I was embarrised, angry, devistated, heartbroken and genuenly felt like crushed in all my spirts.
• we ended up living together for a few more months as we coudn't say goodbye and I didn't want to kick him out, though eventually by june it had gone on too long. I needed to move on.
• I eventually dusted myself off and started dating people head on for all of Aug. I have nothing noteable to note. this was discouraging and still leaves me feeling very worried for the state of my future
• the *lil fucker* Bless his soul, came back in Sept, admiting it wasn't the right decission, for many reasons, many not connected to us, and we tried to take thigns slowly and try again. I currently have nothing amazing to report on that front. I had so many feelings from this, I felt right in a way, b/c I kinda knew this would happen. But I also really didn't want to fall into something again that might not work. My time is ticking and I can't tell you how much that stresses me out. (my attempt to start a family) this has been an emotional rollercoster that has lead me to beleive I really need to go back to therepy. But in a different way than before. I do have alot more knowledge of my traumas from my life that inform my relationship problems. But this also makes me feel more hopeless in finding someone on a timeline that works with my biological clock. He believes in *romantic love, and the one and being headover heals for each other*... I dont anymore. I just want an attractive partner who will be benifical in my life and make a food rather. BUT ANYWAY!. there was more to the year.
• it was Jan, and lockdown continued....
• More karoke. much more.
• Move Live vidoes for work and I loved it.
• bonded with the Island more for his birthday in the winter.
• started making sculpey jewlerly for myself
• Did an online adult workshop for art and mental health
• Due to above breakup... I stupidly let two pigeons nest on my balcony. I wanted to see life while I was going through such a hard time. It was very cool to watch though it left a massive mess. I am still dealing with visitng pigeons. But I do know them visabily and have learned alot about them.
• our good friends a couple got pregnant and gave birth. REALLY cool to hear about the whole journey.
• Ran April break activies and it was great.
• Continued to run weekly artclasses with my crew.
• got vacinated. that was kinda cool. Felt like I was part of history.
• started to attempt to re-decorate for myself considering I will be living alone. I was really scared for this. (got the album stand I always wanted)
• Took part in a really great exhibiton for Contact Photography festival with a good friend from school. Sold things. Got an AWESOME review in an online art review. SO COOL. this has never happened before.
• did the TOAF again online. Sold some work.
• thought I said goodbye to a deer lover and friend and space we spent so much time at (the island beach)... it was so hard. I cried so much.
• Did a spondsored video with work. That was cool.
• in July I was able to go out dancing again at clubs (with masks and less people) BUT HOLY  - It gave me life. it was a big deal. the goth crowd was back.
• ran a two week camp with the art crew and it went SOOOO WELL!! I was SO proud of myself. LIKE amazing.
• FINALLY (Due to the art classes and esp that camp going so well) made the decision to go to teachers college. Started school at Medaille (buffalo school) in sept)
• Also made that decision b/c I found my role model . Cassie Stephens. A kids art teacher that is ME! and all I want to be
• Saw Italy win the Euro cup and partied.
• went to wonderland wiht robyn
• went to cabana with "friends"
• joined a soccer league. It went ok for one game lol.
• went double kayaking
• felt really sad during the best time of the year for me (summer). it was really strange and hard.
• got the floors changed in the condo (Long overdue)
• Rocked an awesome haloween costume, first ever couples costume with annie Lennox.
• Had a very unique birthday party... Cake Sitting party. Loved it.
• Ana Visited.
• Best friend is pregnant.
• went to dominican for New Years with you know who lol (was this a good idea?... not sure)
• hosted my brother's 30th birthday party
• Rocked another awesome christmas Card.

Did alot of good things. - mostly academic. That is how my years go lol. Not a pleasurable year, but a productive one full of acomplishments. Fingers crossed 2022 has more pleasure and romance packed in for me. I really need that this year. I am excited about teachers college and it is going well.

Fingers crossed 2022.