is it dinner time?
ok so how am i feeling? - well I am feeling like the poems a day take me away a little from journaling, but I have this cool record of each day which in a way is better life documentation. But I am a little less in touch with my feelings.
I am hungry for things I should not be eating (metaphorically) and indulging anyway. I might be leading people on in a way that will make the food spoil later but I can't help myself. I am hungry. I need to eat.
and when I eat, I eat alot. I put it all in my mouth in a way that it stuffs every chewable corner in my mouth till the food falls out spilling off my lips..
leaving a terrible mess. on both me and the place matt in which I was eating.
sometimes I clean it up.... sometimes I dont.
--
sooo I want to see someone again.. someone that I wont want to see again after about 2 months time... But in a very selfish way... I want to get all I can out of him. I want to eat so much in a short period of time so I become full, stuffed, bored, complicent with the dish so I no longer want it. Its the desire of the meanest caniable out there.
but it leaves me here sad, angry, and throughtfully waiting for a text back... which I dont deserve. But I am skeaming on how to make you reply. bring you back here... so I can have my full.
is this really as selfish as I make it seem? - no.
I am just lonely. and I have known you for a long time... and it is that very long term personal knowledge that makes you the perfect person to swim with in the sheets.. to flutter on pillows with. - So a little void is temporally filled.
But But But is that mean to you? - probally.
unless you feel the same way.
I am hungry for things I should not be eating (metaphorically) and indulging anyway. I might be leading people on in a way that will make the food spoil later but I can't help myself. I am hungry. I need to eat.
and when I eat, I eat alot. I put it all in my mouth in a way that it stuffs every chewable corner in my mouth till the food falls out spilling off my lips..
leaving a terrible mess. on both me and the place matt in which I was eating.
sometimes I clean it up.... sometimes I dont.
--
sooo I want to see someone again.. someone that I wont want to see again after about 2 months time... But in a very selfish way... I want to get all I can out of him. I want to eat so much in a short period of time so I become full, stuffed, bored, complicent with the dish so I no longer want it. Its the desire of the meanest caniable out there.
but it leaves me here sad, angry, and throughtfully waiting for a text back... which I dont deserve. But I am skeaming on how to make you reply. bring you back here... so I can have my full.
is this really as selfish as I make it seem? - no.
I am just lonely. and I have known you for a long time... and it is that very long term personal knowledge that makes you the perfect person to swim with in the sheets.. to flutter on pillows with. - So a little void is temporally filled.
But But But is that mean to you? - probally.
unless you feel the same way.