(no subject)
so i definatly realized a lot tonite....and im sorry it took me this long to realize it...
i definatly care way too much about people that i shouldn't care about! i don't know whats wrong with me im just that type of person i always have been! i get attached to people easily, and i care about people way to much! doesn't make me a bad person, it just means that i trust human beings far more than i should! its kinda interesting cuz i heard something today....you can't trust anybody but urself... and that totally made sense to me tonite! im going to be very careful from now on with who i trust...
there's this guy, that ive known since freshman year! always thought he was a really nice guy, don't get me wrong i still think he is...but wow..he's such a... MALE... now remind you ive always really cared about this guy for some reason, obviously i never should have... i got in trouble for this guy(because i was stupid) and i trusted this guy and listened to all his crap, and defended him... when all in all i really shouldn't have! and ive said this before, but im saying it for the last time...unless i have a really good reason to talk to this person i am never talking to this person again! im mostly mad because i was stupid about the whole thing...people would tell me things, and me being the trusting person that i am...i would believe what the guy would say and not what others would say! what a complete fool i was! but im mostly mad because i was the idiot!....but yeah basically i was told tonite that if i didn't want to care anymore that was fine...which i guess its kinda a relief for me it just hurts that i wasted that many feelings on a person who doesn't appriciate it! make sense..probably not
so yeah...i was stupid! but thats ok thats part of being human...
gosh i swear i would be the happiest person, if i was just sent to an island to live with 2 people(that i think are my best friends and that care about me alot), and some of my family and a dog and a monkey to live there for the rest of my life..i would be so happy! thats probably really weird of me to say...but yeah!
just sometimes i don't feel like i belong here...in this world! i get so confused by it...and im too softhearted about alot of stuff..i mean come one...i cry at most commericials! its just too sad...and i just don't understand it! idk...
don't get me wrong i love the few true friends that i have, that i feel will be life long, but idk...im always trying to be better for everybody else! i just wanna be myself...and from now on..if people don't like me(which ive always had a real problem with even though i know alot of people dont like me) tough luck! im gonna try my best to not pay attention, because you probably don't matter!
anyways..this is a little too personal..ive had my tears tonite....
overall today was pretty good i guess...
by the way i love CHANTEL AND KATIE! thanks for cheering me up, and understanding that i can be totally stupid..yet you guys don't mind...thanks you guys are real cherries....lol
anyways...i would say its time for bed!
i definatly care way too much about people that i shouldn't care about! i don't know whats wrong with me im just that type of person i always have been! i get attached to people easily, and i care about people way to much! doesn't make me a bad person, it just means that i trust human beings far more than i should! its kinda interesting cuz i heard something today....you can't trust anybody but urself... and that totally made sense to me tonite! im going to be very careful from now on with who i trust...
there's this guy, that ive known since freshman year! always thought he was a really nice guy, don't get me wrong i still think he is...but wow..he's such a... MALE... now remind you ive always really cared about this guy for some reason, obviously i never should have... i got in trouble for this guy(because i was stupid) and i trusted this guy and listened to all his crap, and defended him... when all in all i really shouldn't have! and ive said this before, but im saying it for the last time...unless i have a really good reason to talk to this person i am never talking to this person again! im mostly mad because i was stupid about the whole thing...people would tell me things, and me being the trusting person that i am...i would believe what the guy would say and not what others would say! what a complete fool i was! but im mostly mad because i was the idiot!....but yeah basically i was told tonite that if i didn't want to care anymore that was fine...which i guess its kinda a relief for me it just hurts that i wasted that many feelings on a person who doesn't appriciate it! make sense..probably not
so yeah...i was stupid! but thats ok thats part of being human...
gosh i swear i would be the happiest person, if i was just sent to an island to live with 2 people(that i think are my best friends and that care about me alot), and some of my family and a dog and a monkey to live there for the rest of my life..i would be so happy! thats probably really weird of me to say...but yeah!
just sometimes i don't feel like i belong here...in this world! i get so confused by it...and im too softhearted about alot of stuff..i mean come one...i cry at most commericials! its just too sad...and i just don't understand it! idk...
don't get me wrong i love the few true friends that i have, that i feel will be life long, but idk...im always trying to be better for everybody else! i just wanna be myself...and from now on..if people don't like me(which ive always had a real problem with even though i know alot of people dont like me) tough luck! im gonna try my best to not pay attention, because you probably don't matter!
anyways..this is a little too personal..ive had my tears tonite....
overall today was pretty good i guess...
by the way i love CHANTEL AND KATIE! thanks for cheering me up, and understanding that i can be totally stupid..yet you guys don't mind...thanks you guys are real cherries....lol
anyways...i would say its time for bed!