(no subject)
I miss my friends.
I love my job (although my boss doesn't seem to believe me when I say that, it's absolutely true).
I probably will not be an environmental educator after this internsthip is over - I just don't have the background knowledge or the longterm interest in it. But while I'm here, I'm enjoying learning and I'm even enjoying the teaching aspect of it.
I'm tired a lot though. The weeks are really long. The unorganization of the organization I work for makes the weeks even longer. I'm the type of person that likes to know things way in advance and I like to know what is going on and when it's going on. And I like to have things organized and ready. That doesn't seem to be the way things work here. I'm trying to adjust. I think I'm just ending up stressed out instead. Which I need to find ways to manage. I'm working on it. Learning to understand yourself and the way you tick and then trying to change that, when need be, can be a long process sometimes. And I think it is something that takes me even longer than most people.
Like I said before, I miss my friends. I never even realized what a huge role in my personal health and sanity they played, but they do! A huge role! And not having them here makes me sad. The weekends are long and sucky. Weekends are supposed to be when you get rejuvenated, but it seems that I usually end up sleeping all night on Friday, and watching whatever I have from NetFlix. And then I spend a majority of Saturday and Sunday by myself. Sometimes I hang out with my co-workers if they are around....but they usually aren't, and even if they are, I still haven't found anybody I really connect with among them. I have hung out with people from college that are in the area, but that tends to be more work than it is relaxation. Because those relationships aren't strong - and it takes work to try and make them strong. I just miss effortless friendships on my doorstep. And having a place other than my house where I can go and just hang out.
I can take a book to Ryan and Luke's on a Friday night and sit on their couch and read while they play video games, and have a perfectly fantastic evening. Just because I'm hanging out with people I love. Or I can spend the evening driving around in Lauren's car, running errands or just driving. And have a wonderful evening.
At least I am gaining an even greater appreciation for my friends.