i HAVE BEEN THINKING
So Tonight has been a fun night. Mary F. came down to see the foreigner she got to meet the company and sit through a rehearsal it was fun times. Then Tonight her and I went tup to Martinsville to meet up with sami to have dinner and hangout. It was good to hangout with friends I know really well. I miss them greatly. It is sooo nice to have friends who care about you enough to come see you and what you are doing. Thanks for coming it made me happy.
When I got back to the theatre. Everyone was pretty much drunk. It was INSANE!!! I felt like I was home but not really. since i am still getting to know these people it is weird to see people you dont know very well in a state like this. I pretty much stayed to myself most of the night except for people coming to me. I tried to hangout with the sober ones but I just didnt feel wanted so I went on my way.
I was sitting by the fire tonight thinking. I really think there is something wrong with me. I always seem to find friends but something happens and I lose them. Then I start to think were they really my friends to begin with? I have always thought i was a very approachable person and nice to everyone. Why is it people never seem to want to have me around? I never get invited. I feel I am always inviting myseif and i always feel bad. Why am I really here? I have noone I can really go to. I am soooo alone. It is the scariest feeling I can ever have. I think my biggest fear is starting to happen. I really wonder if I will ever find someone. Will I ever have really close friends. I am soooo lost and I dont know what to do. I cannot wait to go to greece. I really think I need to get away but will it be the same there as here, will noone want to be my friend? What will happen? What am I doing wrong? What should I change? I thought I have always been a good friend to everyone I know but I guess I was wrong all along.
I need to go to bed I love you all sorry about my spilling of my problems.
When I got back to the theatre. Everyone was pretty much drunk. It was INSANE!!! I felt like I was home but not really. since i am still getting to know these people it is weird to see people you dont know very well in a state like this. I pretty much stayed to myself most of the night except for people coming to me. I tried to hangout with the sober ones but I just didnt feel wanted so I went on my way.
I was sitting by the fire tonight thinking. I really think there is something wrong with me. I always seem to find friends but something happens and I lose them. Then I start to think were they really my friends to begin with? I have always thought i was a very approachable person and nice to everyone. Why is it people never seem to want to have me around? I never get invited. I feel I am always inviting myseif and i always feel bad. Why am I really here? I have noone I can really go to. I am soooo alone. It is the scariest feeling I can ever have. I think my biggest fear is starting to happen. I really wonder if I will ever find someone. Will I ever have really close friends. I am soooo lost and I dont know what to do. I cannot wait to go to greece. I really think I need to get away but will it be the same there as here, will noone want to be my friend? What will happen? What am I doing wrong? What should I change? I thought I have always been a good friend to everyone I know but I guess I was wrong all along.
I need to go to bed I love you all sorry about my spilling of my problems.