two - steps towards redemption

[dowhatimust]

[The general is sitting against a brick wall of a warehouse, his fingers steeped together after he has turned the video on. He is quiet for a long moment, before he finally spoke, his voice soft

Comments

[riseaknight]

video;

[He's been watching these battles, this cruelty. He's never seen these enemies before, never faced angels, and demons, only men bent on using religion to their purposes. He... can't even say he's surprised, though it's a little hard to take. He'd never been unbelieving, just always thought himself outside that grace. Which he'd been raised all the same that angels were killers as well. The texts were not so kind after all, not for a many worrying over his dead wife.]

Words only ever reach so far when men hunger for war. It doesn't matter how much you reason with them. They can comprehend, and still wish for more blood.

[But he'd thought the will of heaven was far more than that. Though he says nothing, eyes just cold and assessing.]

[dowhatimust]

If they wish for blood, they will be answered with blood. But they will kill no more innocents. I will not allow it.

[The angel growled out, his voice rough with wrath. Blue eyes bright, as he looked at this other man.]

...You are wise, for one so young in his years.

[riseaknight]

... There is the school of thought to wait for them to kill each other, in time, that too will come to pass, if they do not have anyone else to turn against.

[Balian met the look evenly, seldom that any thing made him flinch anymore. But at the compliment, he bows his head in thanks. For surely an angel would know these things better, even if Balian felt bitter looking at more blood.]

Not so wise as that, just... well taught.

[dowhatimust]

If I allow them to kill one another, they will destroy the whole of humanity. I feel, somewhat, that I should keep that from happening.

[The angel felt some of his anger fade with curiosity.]

What sort of lesson have you learned?

[riseaknight]

If it is a battle of that magnitude, then I would advise protecting the people, as far as I can advise a member of the heavenly host.

[Balian relaxed a little, because this he could say easily.]

How to be a Knight, and how to be a man of conscious.

[dowhatimust]

I do not see why you would not advise. After all, they are your people, even if they are not from your world.

[The General tilted his head, thoughtfully.]

Those two do not often walk hand in hand. How do you justify one end to the other?

[riseaknight]

Much has changed, too much for my complete understanding any longer.

[There is a stiff shrug from Balian, because he knows, oh he knows. The pride and the arrogance of most crusaders, of Guy and Reynald and the Templars.]

They do not often, but they can. Not many choose too. They follow the orders they are given, they hold their own lives dear and by such actions, forsake the oaths they gave. To safeguard and protect the innocent and the helpless, to be without fear of following the right course of action, even if it leads to death. [the words are spoken with intent, with feeling, the last words his father ever spoke to him. That lasting blow that stung as his father died.] I have followed this, and it has not led me wrong yet. It was the King himself that taught me that I always have a choice, that excuses otherwise will never suffice where a man's soul and mind is concerned.

[dowhatimust]

Indeed. But for a man of your time, you seem remarkably composed.

[He tilted his head again, giving the knight a long, piercing look.]

They are tools, instead of leaders, then. Those who allow themselves to be led off to slaughter have already doomed themselves. It is those who think of the larger picture, the lives of the many instead of the few ... those are the truly righteous. Those are the ones who walk in the light of my Father. [He gave the young man before him another long look, before he dipped his head.] As do you, Sir Knight. I see you in you a truly blessed man.

[riseaknight]

... Nothing comes from panicking, it is best to adjust quickly, you will get more done that way. Somethings I do not understand, but I am learning.

[It's... been a long way since he'd ever been looked at like that. The Hospitler did, sometimes. Sharp and assessing, seeing too much. He had no idea why he was put in mind of it though.]

As many men are, they think following their orders... will some how excuse their actions. [He once had, thought following orders would be enough. But as he listens, he wants to deny everything that Angel has said. For he knew it was not true, he had too much to atone for.] I would not wish to argue with you but I am not, I am well outside God's grace. [He'd lost his wife, and killed a priest. He'd never call himself blessed, he'd shed innocent blood, and lost those he loved.]

[dowhatimust]

It was also hard for me. But you are right. Panic does no good. Only knowledge.

[He leaned forward, cupping his fingers together.]

You would be surprised, how far my Father's Grace stretches.

[riseaknight]

That is how I go about my business at least. It helps against rash actions and poor decisions that follow inevitably.

[Balian shakes his head slightly, he really can't accept it.]

I am sure, but I have long since lost my faith in religion. I have faith, but I do not think God knows me. [It's difficult for him to accept, even to hear it from heaven's mouth, as it were.]

[dowhatimust]

Sadly, you cannot keep people from that. [Or angels, for that matter. No matter how hard Castiel seems to try.]

[One corner of Castiel's mouth lifts up sadly.]

Do not put faith in religion. Put faith in your heart. Men lie with their fancy prayers - atoning to God in one hand and committing the most devilish sins in the other. Those who truly know my Father serve him with their deeds, not their churches or fancy robes.

[riseaknight]

No, you can't. But you can protect those caught in the cross fire of the foolish. [It seems all sides hunger for battle. Guy and Richard wanted the glory, Sybilla wanted security. Here, he had wondered how much of those old rules had applied. Apparently most of them still did.]

[he drew silent again, it was not the first time he had heard that. Holiness lies in right action.] ... He was wiser than I knew. [Balian shook his head free of the thoughts.] Tell me, is it true that by one's actions, a man can relieve another's place in hell?

[dowhatimust]

...You sound very much like a friend of mine. Several, in fact. [Which made him think of how many times Dean and Sam had thrown themselves in the line of fire - and now - here they were. Thirsting for battle.]

[He tilted his head at the Knight, curious.] ... Who was? [The head tilted in the other direction.] Yes, it is so. I have seen it -- in the most courageous of men, those with the deepest of loves.

[riseaknight]

And you sound like one of mine -- that is who said the same thing to me. He told me he never put stock in religion. He'd said he'd seen too much religion in the eyes of too many murderers. He was a fellow crusader -- though he rode with the Hospitler order.

[There's a real palatable look of relief on Balian's face. The breath he draws is deeper and his eyes go wide for a moment.] ... I am glad to hear that.

[dowhatimust]

Your friend was very wise. Religion has killed more than plagues. God does not pay attention to religions - he pays attention to people. To their actions, to their own hearts. He ... has a direct line, to each and every one of you. I would envy you that, but it is a greater responsibility than I care to have. [said the General of Heaven.]

Good. I am glad to give you comfort, Knight.