Apology
So I think I figured out what I've been doing. I sabotage current relationships because I'm too hung up on past ones. And then those ones that I sabotage become my new old ones to overanalyze. It becomes a viciously wicked cycle.
All in all, I'm jealous. I'm jealous of the great girls who landed the great guys that I passed by because they didn't fit into my perfect life plan. What I wouldn't give for someone to make me eat my words at this point.
I miss little parts of each person, of course. With each relationship, I become a little more wise about what I need. Or want. Or both. But the fact is that out of all of those guys, there was one who did absolutely nothing wrong.
He was perfect. And I got scared because it wasn't going to be easy. I was going to have to trust him, and I wasn't good at that. And I didn't know him for that long, so I didn't trust that what was there really was love. And for that, I am truly sorry.
All in all, I'm jealous. I'm jealous of the great girls who landed the great guys that I passed by because they didn't fit into my perfect life plan. What I wouldn't give for someone to make me eat my words at this point.
I miss little parts of each person, of course. With each relationship, I become a little more wise about what I need. Or want. Or both. But the fact is that out of all of those guys, there was one who did absolutely nothing wrong.
He was perfect. And I got scared because it wasn't going to be easy. I was going to have to trust him, and I wasn't good at that. And I didn't know him for that long, so I didn't trust that what was there really was love. And for that, I am truly sorry.