Episode 26: It's been a while...
These are my confessions:
WOW...I havnt written in soooo looong, probably cuz i barely ever get a chance to breathe. Anywhoo....
I'm home in Plymouth right now for spring break, but here's whats been happening the past couple of weeks...
As of me and J, we're just really good friends right now, we were both just on different pages of where we wanted to be relationship wise. He took me out to dinner on Wednesday though, and it was so sad when he dropped me off cause usually, we would kiss goodbye but I figured that to try to keep the "just friends" thing in control, I should get used to not always kissing him all the time. But he totally caught me off guard by kissing me. I guess maybe I was just trying to rush into something too quickly, cause to tell you the truth, as much as I want a relationship, I don't really think it's a good time right now, I barely have time to sleep!
Other then that, nothing too big has happened in Keene besides waaaay too much school work to do and never enough motivation to do it! I just hope I'm doin ok in my classes cause for the amount of nights I spend up until 4 AM doin stuff, it better pay off!
Then there's the weekends, I actually went home last weekend on the count of I felt like complete ass hole and I just needed to take a break for a lil bit. This past Thursday was a blast! Our pledges got their big sisters, SOOOOO CUTE!! The matches were perfect! So we hung out at the house for a while and then basically took over Alpha, EPY style! We played beer die, and made people funnel, and it was just sooooo much FUN! I love those guys, and I feel bad cuz they get sucha bad rep, but they're really wicked nice and fun to hang with. Crystal and I of course went late night style and hung til the sun came up! And all I gotta say is one thing: "I'll show you mine if you show me yours!" LOL KRISTA!!!
Sooo, now I'm home for a week, and I'm a lil bummed cause I thought that I'd get hours at Bournedale but it turns out that they don't need me this week. Sucks...but what are ya gunna do bout it? I've also been having a lot of thoughts about something, and it's been really clouding my mind. I wish I could just pick up the phone and see what happens, but I can't...and I really, really, REALLY just wish that it didn't hurt so bad, and that I could just forget about it...but it's just so God damn hard!! And I think about how good it all felt and how much I miss it when It's gone and it's just been such a while...I think what really sparked this was when things with J didn't really work out how I thought and it happened again, you know...it just keeps going around and around in a circle right back to where I started, and left off...
So, now I'm here and I guess all I can do is hope...hope that everything will get figured out, on both parts...
Call me out
You stayed inside
One you love
Is where you hide
Shot me down as I flew by
Crash and burn
I think sometimes you forget where the heart is
Answer no to these questions
Let her go, learn a lesson
It's not me, you're not listening now
Can't you see something's missing?
You forget where the heart is
Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you love me you'd say it's okay
Waking up from this nightmare
How's your life, what's it like there?
Is it all what you want it to be?
Does it hurt when you think about me?
And how broken my heart is
Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you love me you'd say it's okay
It's okay to be angry and never let go
It only gets harder the more that you know
When you get lonely if no one's around
You know that I'll catch you when you're falling down
We came together but you left alone
And I know how it feels to walk out on your own
Maybe someday I will see you again
And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend
Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you love me you'd say its okay
It's okay
WOW...I havnt written in soooo looong, probably cuz i barely ever get a chance to breathe. Anywhoo....
I'm home in Plymouth right now for spring break, but here's whats been happening the past couple of weeks...
As of me and J, we're just really good friends right now, we were both just on different pages of where we wanted to be relationship wise. He took me out to dinner on Wednesday though, and it was so sad when he dropped me off cause usually, we would kiss goodbye but I figured that to try to keep the "just friends" thing in control, I should get used to not always kissing him all the time. But he totally caught me off guard by kissing me. I guess maybe I was just trying to rush into something too quickly, cause to tell you the truth, as much as I want a relationship, I don't really think it's a good time right now, I barely have time to sleep!
Other then that, nothing too big has happened in Keene besides waaaay too much school work to do and never enough motivation to do it! I just hope I'm doin ok in my classes cause for the amount of nights I spend up until 4 AM doin stuff, it better pay off!
Then there's the weekends, I actually went home last weekend on the count of I felt like complete ass hole and I just needed to take a break for a lil bit. This past Thursday was a blast! Our pledges got their big sisters, SOOOOO CUTE!! The matches were perfect! So we hung out at the house for a while and then basically took over Alpha, EPY style! We played beer die, and made people funnel, and it was just sooooo much FUN! I love those guys, and I feel bad cuz they get sucha bad rep, but they're really wicked nice and fun to hang with. Crystal and I of course went late night style and hung til the sun came up! And all I gotta say is one thing: "I'll show you mine if you show me yours!" LOL KRISTA!!!
Sooo, now I'm home for a week, and I'm a lil bummed cause I thought that I'd get hours at Bournedale but it turns out that they don't need me this week. Sucks...but what are ya gunna do bout it? I've also been having a lot of thoughts about something, and it's been really clouding my mind. I wish I could just pick up the phone and see what happens, but I can't...and I really, really, REALLY just wish that it didn't hurt so bad, and that I could just forget about it...but it's just so God damn hard!! And I think about how good it all felt and how much I miss it when It's gone and it's just been such a while...I think what really sparked this was when things with J didn't really work out how I thought and it happened again, you know...it just keeps going around and around in a circle right back to where I started, and left off...
So, now I'm here and I guess all I can do is hope...hope that everything will get figured out, on both parts...
Call me out
You stayed inside
One you love
Is where you hide
Shot me down as I flew by
Crash and burn
I think sometimes you forget where the heart is
Answer no to these questions
Let her go, learn a lesson
It's not me, you're not listening now
Can't you see something's missing?
You forget where the heart is
Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you love me you'd say it's okay
Waking up from this nightmare
How's your life, what's it like there?
Is it all what you want it to be?
Does it hurt when you think about me?
And how broken my heart is
Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you love me you'd say it's okay
It's okay to be angry and never let go
It only gets harder the more that you know
When you get lonely if no one's around
You know that I'll catch you when you're falling down
We came together but you left alone
And I know how it feels to walk out on your own
Maybe someday I will see you again
And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend
Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you love me you'd say its okay
It's okay