lonely. . .

[mandalee1313]

so for whatever reason, phoenix died yesterday. ironically 5 months almost to the day after indy died. sunday night he was acting weird and walking funny. it reminded me alot of how indy acted before he died. but phoenix has had somekind of spell before and he was fine afterwards. but this time he wasn't. i left to go to school early monday morning and i kissed his head before i left and told him i loved him and i wish i would have stayed because i hate that he was alone. for the 5 months after indy died he acted different because he had never been without indy. even the vet said that indy dying could have had something to do with phoenix dying, unexplainable but true. they said it could have been a heart attack or really anything for that matter and obviously there was nothing we could do because it was so sudden and so totally unexpected. the house gives new meaning to empty. i thought it was bad when indy wasn't there anymore. now that phoenix is gone too i don't think i can be there by myself. too quiet. i hate that i wasn't there. it was obvious that he hated being alone and i could have stayed just a little bit longer and maybe i could have made it better for him. he wouldn't have been alone. thats the worst part. supposedly he died sometime right after i left because he was gone when my grandma came by and i assume that was sometime around 8 i guess. i guess its better that they're both ok now but i miss them...

INDY may 1, 1993 - september 14, 2006
PHOENIX september 16, 1998 - february 19, 2007