2004-05 Fucking Outrageous People Awards!!!!
Okay people...So I haven't been on the ball the past few months. I said I was going to do the 2004 Fucking Outrageous People Awards and I never did. For that, I should burn in hell. So I had a list forgot it in Pensacola when I was going back to Tampa for the winter break. Now I've lost the list. Shame on me. So in efforts to make up for 2004 I will try to remember and also incorporate the beginning of 05.
And now without further adu...I give you....
THE 2004-2005 FUCKING OUTRAGEOUS PEOPLE AWARDS!
Biggest lesbian wanna-be: Ashley
Best Drunken Fall: Jackie at the ATO Halloween party in the bushes when Jerome and I were on her side and Jerome let go.
Crazy Older Woman: Carmen at Johns Pass and her crazy orange fetish with Chanel sunglasses.
Prescription Fabulous: Carlie & I
The Crazy/Beautiful Executive Meeting Award: Chris(thedruproject)
Best metrosexual....ever: Shane
Most Fabulous Purse: Mine...Coach Lesbiana
Worst Bag ever created award: Dooney and Burke
Dead President Haunting Jeff & I Through Technology (i.e. television, phones, lights)Award: Ronald Reagan
Most Likely To Give Out A Car:Oprah ..."YOU GET A CAR YOU GET A CAR EVERBODY GETS A CAR!!!"
NFL Wives Wear Fendi Bags Award: Travis
Best Trolly Driver in the World: Wandaaaa hollaaa!
Best Invention: Martini Sippy Cup for your car & the Dildo with the comb courteousy of Chris Palm Harbor and I.
Best Village West Drunk: Bryan
Best Appearance on an amplifier in a Ciara Video: Missy Elliot...woop shane.
Most Improved:Anna Nicole
Best Eating Out Pinellas Concert: Eddie Money!!!!!! YEYAA
Best Resturant in Pensacola: LA HACIENDA! or LA HAZ
Best Parties of the Year: AGD Black & White Party, Trick or TKE, New Years 05 at Chads, Jeffs House Party, Joes New Welcoming Apartment Party-sliding down staircases.
Biggest Pain in the Ass Award: Hurrican Charley, Jeanne,Frances, and MOST of all IVAN you prick.
Biggest Prude In the World:Jackie...LOL..syke.
Best Time in a Traffic Jam: Jeff and I on 275? In Tampa going to see friends...and coming up with our idea that my mom will drive us around in a gold limo and we will be drunk and screech up to places and yell like crazy asses.
Great Comments Award: Jerome:"Hey man, nice tooth,"to the hockey playet with no teeth. "laughing at the guy whos car got scratched" and "See ya in homeroom." to the highschooler
Best lame Joke that still makes us laugh: Vicki's anatomy class discussing how expensive the skeleton was...it cost an arm and a leg*drums*
Guys that I wanna Have Sex with Award:Hugh Jackman, George Clooney, the phatom of the opera, and a couple of guys up here*maybe* Can't forget Curtis......oh and your dad.
Best Porn of the Year: Kat's Pancake Porn mmmmm I love pancakes*syrup*
Coolest picked up and spun on the dancefloor by a drunk lesbian award:Vanessa lol
Shopoholic/Workaholic: Jeff
Fat Scene Bitch Award: Anyone at the castle
Best Movie: Napolean Dynamite...GAWD!
Best Songs: Eric Prydz-Call On Me, Sophie Ellis Bextor-Murder on the Dancefloor, U2-Vertigo
Gayest Person Alive: Liza Minelli's Ex David Gest(sp?)
Biggest Fag Hag besides me: Liza Minelli
Crackwhore Appreciation Award: Whitney Houston
Worst Election Ever:04 Prez Election
Favorite Attorney to Ever Walk Earth: JOHN BALES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Best Film About Christ: Passion of the Christ
Most Likely to Buy Crap off Ebay Award: Shane!!
Best White Man with a Black Mans Name: Jerome
Favorite Conversation/Quote: Travis:"If I'm not married by the time I'm 25 I'll just jump off a fucking bridge." Ashley's response "well at least you'll be in Portland."
Best Meals of the Year: O'Charley's after Jeff and I's 12 hour car trip in Birmingham AL and Whataburger with Alex and Croatia after a drunken night.
Most Likely To Talk about Wine and Masturbation: Nick Y.
Best Tv Shows I've watched in the past year: Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Nip/Tuck, & Project Runway.
Most Likely to Mess With Bryan when Hes drunk: Andrew
Coolest Vacation: Going to Tulsa & Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. St. Louis, Denmark, Wisconsin. CHICAGO, IL!!!
Newest Obsession: The guy who looks like Conan Obrien around campus
Best TeaCup Talking Shit/Jello Shot/Ghetto Apartment Party Award: Koolaid!
Best Board Game Night: Balderdash with Ash Shane Jeff and my Mom. Vulgarity at it's finest.
Best Foriegner of the Year Award: Federico...mm such a rico sauve wanna-be. Sorry Jerome's from Canada that doesn't count in my book. us and canada we are like this*croses fingers*
Best Drink of Choice: Tequilla Shots with Jackie...SOO WASSSTEDD
Most Boring Class in the world with the most boring Teacher: Social Psychology
People I love to Hate Award: Paris Hilton and any guy that I've dated. lol
Best Entrance 2004: Celine Dion riding on a saxaphone in her Las Vegas show.
Shit Talking Singer of the Year:Jeff singing about that busted guy at Sacred Grounds
$$$$$$$$$ Bling Slot Machine Award:Ash and Alex winning $300 at Hard Rock.
At Least you Didn't Leave your Alarm Clock on..Oh Wait you Did Award: Mary our old roomate.
Best Talk of Tigers I've ever Heard: my Yoga teacher John..."lay with the tiger feel him breathe....
Slow Motion for me, Slow Motion for me Rapper Award: Jeff's Dad DAVVEEEE!
Best Drinking Game made by Jerome: "One Night Stand"-Its when you get drunk, sleep with him and he never talks to you again.
Another Biggest Bitch of the Year Award that I forgot to Mention:Meryl Streep and Barbara Streisand. I hate you bitches.
Worst Game TrendBusted Party Place Yet We All Still Go To Award: The Fountains
Little Kid Smile/ Most Likely to Catch Me a Delicious Bass Some-day Award: Sean
Best Ending to A Tv Series: Sex and the City! Carrie and Big woop/samantha fucking smith. yeyaa!
Passed out by 12:30 with Chips on Their Stomach on New Years Award: Chad lol
Best Award Show Ever: The Fucking Outrageous People Awards umm hello!
Wouldn't Mind Having a Threesome With Award: The lead guys from Nip/Tuck reow!
Craziest Billboard back home: The Katonga bitch for Bush Gardens LOL! and previously the MOSI girl-for the hurricane expirience...IT BLOWS ME AWAY!
Biggest Crybaby Award: John Travolta
Most Fucking Outrageous Person of the 2004!:Heather Pourchot real estate queen bee!!!!
Omg im tearing up at Jamie Foxx's speech for winning the Oscar. I hope you all tear up from these awards too..I'd love acceptance speeches!!!! It's all welcomed here...AND CONGRATULATIONS SEE YOU ON THE RED CARPET IN THE NEXT FEW MONTHS!
*Refreshments are being served in I'm Sorry for 2004 Ballroom Courteousy of Rueben Studdard. There will be an after party in my room immediatly followed by a huge sex party. (BYOB-Bring Your Own Bitches). I love you all and thank you for being so fucking outrageous this year!
Love, Me