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I can't sleep anymore , I messed up my sleeping sched the past few nights. Because I was up till 3am everynight being a huge nerd reading twilight. And I will permanently mess up my sleeping sched because I have 3 more books and then maybe by that time ill be able to look forward to the edward version, or read it on the internet. I really didn't wanna get involved in the twilight nonsense, because I thought it was gahabge , but its good shit. And I must see the movie asap!!!
Anyways im here because there's nothing on tv , and im covinced there's someone living in my alley way , also because there is a ghost in my room and im sure he will eventually show himself again and I will have a heart attack.
Im exhausted but everytime I close my eyes my head just races about nothing at all. And I have to keep my ipod on because if I dont I hear things or banging on my window. Maybe im just going absolutely looney tunes , sounds like it to me lol
I've been over reacting about too much lately , I really think I need a vacation of some sort. And by vacation, I mean stay in bed for a week and eat ice cream and watch tv all day. Speaking of tv , gossip girl needs to come back soon. And I can't wait for my preggers girl show. And niptuck and maybe someday rescueme will actually do full episodes isntead of 5 min b.s. Tomorrow night I decided im just gunna write my whole rough draft on gay marriage or whatever I decide, and pass it in tuesday even though its not due for another week, have her check it, pass in the final thursday, call it a day and get an a in the class and get an extra week and a half off. I can't wait till december 15, in all honesty I have a very good feeling about this day and I am pretty sure doctor feldman is going to tell me my braces are coming off soon and he's going to mold my retainer. And I will be so happy to be brace free even though I might miss them for a while because sometimes I enjoy looking like a 12 year old! I haven't decided if that was sarcasm or not. Im very curious about what ill look like without my metal mouth, I forget what it feels like. First thing im gunna do is bite into a big apple, maybe chew some celery , eat a gummy bear in a matter of seconds instead of chewing for 2 minutes and eventually losing the bear.
Im really tired of school , im tired of this prerequisite b.s., I wanna get in the program as soon as possible, finish, and get away from my shittyy job, and get a real job , making real money. I wanna pay off all my debt so bad , it bums me out every week when I get paid and I only keep 20 dollars for gas and like 10 dollars for food for the week. I wish I never got myself into this mess. I say I leaned my lesson , but have I? If I didn't cut my charges up, id still use them. I have the numbers so technically I can still use them, and that's dangerous. I have spending issues. I spoiled myself last year buying anything and everything I wanted, and I have nothing to show for it. I was depressed I guess. Im happy now but im dissapointed that I allowed myself to sink that low.
I feel like I've went through really weird stages, and I hope I stay in the stage im in now for the rest of my life because for the most part im just calm; im happy and in love and balanced I guess.
Last year I was depressed and just miserable. (Not to mention I weighed 116 (lmao) pounds. All I did was work and work out and not eat. I miss being able to fit into my size 3 skinny jeans, but I was unhealthy. I legit used to eat a cup of grapes for dinner. ) If it weren't for pat saving me and making me the happiest person in the world, I probably would have melted. Sometiems I think about what I would have done without pat, life seems unbearable and impossible, as creepy as that sounds.
The year before that, the only word to describe me was I dno, retarded! I look back and honestly I feel like I wasn't myself. I was never so blinded and confused. And I just wanna go back in time and just slap myself for being a moron. I learned from that though. I definately learned you can't help someone who doesn't want help. That's the hardest lesson I've learned I guess. Sometimes I wish it never happened, but then sometimes I feel like without that time in my life I wouldn't be who I am today. I just don't like when people bring up the past, and it seems for some reason , many people like to do that. And its kindof a slap in the face. But I deserve it haha, everyone makes mistakes. The onlt thing that matters is if you learn from them.
Id love to sleep , but considering I've been laying in bed since 11, doesn't look too promising.
I guess its time to eat catfood and huff some glue to get some actual sleep - as my charles would of course.
Anyways im here because there's nothing on tv , and im covinced there's someone living in my alley way , also because there is a ghost in my room and im sure he will eventually show himself again and I will have a heart attack.
Im exhausted but everytime I close my eyes my head just races about nothing at all. And I have to keep my ipod on because if I dont I hear things or banging on my window. Maybe im just going absolutely looney tunes , sounds like it to me lol
I've been over reacting about too much lately , I really think I need a vacation of some sort. And by vacation, I mean stay in bed for a week and eat ice cream and watch tv all day. Speaking of tv , gossip girl needs to come back soon. And I can't wait for my preggers girl show. And niptuck and maybe someday rescueme will actually do full episodes isntead of 5 min b.s. Tomorrow night I decided im just gunna write my whole rough draft on gay marriage or whatever I decide, and pass it in tuesday even though its not due for another week, have her check it, pass in the final thursday, call it a day and get an a in the class and get an extra week and a half off. I can't wait till december 15, in all honesty I have a very good feeling about this day and I am pretty sure doctor feldman is going to tell me my braces are coming off soon and he's going to mold my retainer. And I will be so happy to be brace free even though I might miss them for a while because sometimes I enjoy looking like a 12 year old! I haven't decided if that was sarcasm or not. Im very curious about what ill look like without my metal mouth, I forget what it feels like. First thing im gunna do is bite into a big apple, maybe chew some celery , eat a gummy bear in a matter of seconds instead of chewing for 2 minutes and eventually losing the bear.
Im really tired of school , im tired of this prerequisite b.s., I wanna get in the program as soon as possible, finish, and get away from my shittyy job, and get a real job , making real money. I wanna pay off all my debt so bad , it bums me out every week when I get paid and I only keep 20 dollars for gas and like 10 dollars for food for the week. I wish I never got myself into this mess. I say I leaned my lesson , but have I? If I didn't cut my charges up, id still use them. I have the numbers so technically I can still use them, and that's dangerous. I have spending issues. I spoiled myself last year buying anything and everything I wanted, and I have nothing to show for it. I was depressed I guess. Im happy now but im dissapointed that I allowed myself to sink that low.
I feel like I've went through really weird stages, and I hope I stay in the stage im in now for the rest of my life because for the most part im just calm; im happy and in love and balanced I guess.
Last year I was depressed and just miserable. (Not to mention I weighed 116 (lmao) pounds. All I did was work and work out and not eat. I miss being able to fit into my size 3 skinny jeans, but I was unhealthy. I legit used to eat a cup of grapes for dinner. ) If it weren't for pat saving me and making me the happiest person in the world, I probably would have melted. Sometiems I think about what I would have done without pat, life seems unbearable and impossible, as creepy as that sounds.
The year before that, the only word to describe me was I dno, retarded! I look back and honestly I feel like I wasn't myself. I was never so blinded and confused. And I just wanna go back in time and just slap myself for being a moron. I learned from that though. I definately learned you can't help someone who doesn't want help. That's the hardest lesson I've learned I guess. Sometimes I wish it never happened, but then sometimes I feel like without that time in my life I wouldn't be who I am today. I just don't like when people bring up the past, and it seems for some reason , many people like to do that. And its kindof a slap in the face. But I deserve it haha, everyone makes mistakes. The onlt thing that matters is if you learn from them.
Id love to sleep , but considering I've been laying in bed since 11, doesn't look too promising.
I guess its time to eat catfood and huff some glue to get some actual sleep - as my charles would of course.