matt and i
matt and i kinda put things on hold sunday night, he basically said that we can't have a healthy relationship unless im happy with myself, which i don't get. If im depressed then it probably isn't a good time to back away. sometimes im gonna cry, i'm not gonna know why and he's not gonna know why, i just need to get over it.
so then tuesday we talked, i wrote him a letter and read it to him, he said he wanted to give it another shot. so wednesday we spent the whole day together and i thought everything was fine. but i knew something wasn't right, and i pulled it out of him, but he's not happy.
and for right now, i just got back from his house, he was crying, i cried a little, which is nothing new to me cuz all we do is sit and talk and cry. but he told me he loves me and doesnt want to lose me, he wants to make things better and get rid of this stupid tension b/w us, and make the bad things go away. but he also mentioned how he's not sure if he's in love anymore and he doesnt know why.
so i took off the ring he gave me, he started to cry, i started to cry. i told him to keep it, not bcuz i want closure, but bcuz i am not gonna wear a ring that meant that he loves me and then keep wearing it even when he doesnt.
so i'm pretty upset right now, he wants to talk more tonight. i'm suprised.
i told him im not gonna beg for him back, i'm not gonna promise him i'll change, and i'm gonna give him all the space he needs. cuz it's always been all about me, and now i wanna know what he wants.
i asked him how he'd felt if when i walked out his door we werent together anymore, and i didnt get a response.
all i can do now is wait, it's painful, and i really need to get on with my life. but i thought that if you want something bad enough it'll come back to you
thats what im hoping for atleast
so then tuesday we talked, i wrote him a letter and read it to him, he said he wanted to give it another shot. so wednesday we spent the whole day together and i thought everything was fine. but i knew something wasn't right, and i pulled it out of him, but he's not happy.
and for right now, i just got back from his house, he was crying, i cried a little, which is nothing new to me cuz all we do is sit and talk and cry. but he told me he loves me and doesnt want to lose me, he wants to make things better and get rid of this stupid tension b/w us, and make the bad things go away. but he also mentioned how he's not sure if he's in love anymore and he doesnt know why.
so i took off the ring he gave me, he started to cry, i started to cry. i told him to keep it, not bcuz i want closure, but bcuz i am not gonna wear a ring that meant that he loves me and then keep wearing it even when he doesnt.
so i'm pretty upset right now, he wants to talk more tonight. i'm suprised.
i told him im not gonna beg for him back, i'm not gonna promise him i'll change, and i'm gonna give him all the space he needs. cuz it's always been all about me, and now i wanna know what he wants.
i asked him how he'd felt if when i walked out his door we werent together anymore, and i didnt get a response.
all i can do now is wait, it's painful, and i really need to get on with my life. but i thought that if you want something bad enough it'll come back to you
thats what im hoping for atleast