SnowDay!
Hey,
So i woke up at like 12:00 today hehe i kinda got scared b\c i thought oh shit SCHOOL! but hehe we had a snow day today so i was all good! the only bad thing was my mom stayed home too! she bugged me all day dont use the phone im waiting for ur father to call, Clean ur room, and all this other crap i was gunna die but i ended up using the phone and cleaning me room. Actually i have to finish it up but oh well. Since it snowed and all the stuff i didnt have dance either which was exciting but then again not i wanted it b\c i need to get back into shape b\c i look like shit (FATSO) but then i didnt want to get ready and drive everywhere so it kinda worked out for me hehe! but yea soo yesterday was my 6 month with Brian and i waited all day for him to say Happy Anniversary to me but he didnt! i was pissed! i mean at 1st i was ok i said to myself he has a lot on his mind he's leaving soon dont worry dont get upset. But see then he called me and was like im goin to a steak house and im drinking too! and all he was worried about was drinking! Now that pissed me off! so i sent him a text after he called me and was like Happy Fucking 6 month Anniversary!! He called back quick and was all apologetic and stuff and all i could say was its ok. Even tho it wasnt and he knew it too. But i cant get that upset b\c he's leaving tomorrow! thats rite TOMORROW!!! I am actually really upset about it. It wont hit me until i dont get a call from him everynite. Oh man here comes the tears. I love him soooo much and i kno wen he comes back that we r goin to get married and happy and all that stuff. i just really dont want him to go ya kno? I kno all i do is talk about him in this freakin journal but i cant help it he's my life and my joy! AHHHHHHHHH why did God have to put me in this situation and through this stuff! I wish i had answers ya kno? grrrrrrrrr! Tonite will be the last time i will talk to the love of my life until he returns safe and sound in my arms in like a year and a half! Wen i think about that it hurts my heart and i get nauseous i hate that feeling. I dont want to go to school or nething i dont want to do nething tomorrow i mean a HUGE part of me wants to go to dance b\c i want to see my friends that i havent seen and then hang out wit Kimmie and friends for her 18th b-day but then again all i want to do is crule up into a ball and just cry and sleep and idk i just dont want him to go. I dont want to cry on the phone wit him tonite either b\c i want him to kno that im gunna stay strong for him and that he doesnt have worry about me or nething! OMFGoodness I DONT WANT HIM TO GO!!!! AHHHHH AHHHHHH AHHHHHHH i am such a mess rite now i cant help it holy shit! FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!! :*( i hate this soooo much i wish i could just have him wit me next to me forever. Ok i need to stop sitting here and crying and thinkin about this freakin thing and i need to go finish my room and then go to bed! ttul bye mwa
~Brian I love you sooooo much mwa - Support the troops - ur all in my prayers mwa~
So i woke up at like 12:00 today hehe i kinda got scared b\c i thought oh shit SCHOOL! but hehe we had a snow day today so i was all good! the only bad thing was my mom stayed home too! she bugged me all day dont use the phone im waiting for ur father to call, Clean ur room, and all this other crap i was gunna die but i ended up using the phone and cleaning me room. Actually i have to finish it up but oh well. Since it snowed and all the stuff i didnt have dance either which was exciting but then again not i wanted it b\c i need to get back into shape b\c i look like shit (FATSO) but then i didnt want to get ready and drive everywhere so it kinda worked out for me hehe! but yea soo yesterday was my 6 month with Brian and i waited all day for him to say Happy Anniversary to me but he didnt! i was pissed! i mean at 1st i was ok i said to myself he has a lot on his mind he's leaving soon dont worry dont get upset. But see then he called me and was like im goin to a steak house and im drinking too! and all he was worried about was drinking! Now that pissed me off! so i sent him a text after he called me and was like Happy Fucking 6 month Anniversary!! He called back quick and was all apologetic and stuff and all i could say was its ok. Even tho it wasnt and he knew it too. But i cant get that upset b\c he's leaving tomorrow! thats rite TOMORROW!!! I am actually really upset about it. It wont hit me until i dont get a call from him everynite. Oh man here comes the tears. I love him soooo much and i kno wen he comes back that we r goin to get married and happy and all that stuff. i just really dont want him to go ya kno? I kno all i do is talk about him in this freakin journal but i cant help it he's my life and my joy! AHHHHHHHHH why did God have to put me in this situation and through this stuff! I wish i had answers ya kno? grrrrrrrrr! Tonite will be the last time i will talk to the love of my life until he returns safe and sound in my arms in like a year and a half! Wen i think about that it hurts my heart and i get nauseous i hate that feeling. I dont want to go to school or nething i dont want to do nething tomorrow i mean a HUGE part of me wants to go to dance b\c i want to see my friends that i havent seen and then hang out wit Kimmie and friends for her 18th b-day but then again all i want to do is crule up into a ball and just cry and sleep and idk i just dont want him to go. I dont want to cry on the phone wit him tonite either b\c i want him to kno that im gunna stay strong for him and that he doesnt have worry about me or nething! OMFGoodness I DONT WANT HIM TO GO!!!! AHHHHH AHHHHHH AHHHHHHH i am such a mess rite now i cant help it holy shit! FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!! :*( i hate this soooo much i wish i could just have him wit me next to me forever. Ok i need to stop sitting here and crying and thinkin about this freakin thing and i need to go finish my room and then go to bed! ttul bye mwa
~Brian I love you sooooo much mwa - Support the troops - ur all in my prayers mwa~