THE WAY THINGS CHANGE AFFECT MANY IN BOTH MIND AND HEART...
I finally got internet back into this dismal room and can say that im back to what i was doing even before this whole moving shit.....myspace and blog whoring.
well, there have been many rumblings around my life that have affected me in many ways...for one, a person who means the wolrd to me is leaving..
why issit that when someone who realy makes my life worth living suddenly leaves my life so sudden, so quickly.....just so....why does it have to happen.
i can question it and even start putting the blame on people, events or just simple things out of the blue...but that is'nt going to stop the innevitable.
it has to happen....why
because it's a new beginning....you cant stop a new beginning
the clean slate of starting fresh.
a rebirth.
why does it sound like this person is leaving forever, like they are disapearing from the face of the earth? why? because im scared.
I always think the worse......because this yet a nother loss i cannot have the stregth to bear.
yes, that person will visit and whatnot....but even then, a visit is a week or a month...whatever the duration of a "visit" is.....there will always be a day of the goodbye.
the times for the "wish we could've..." or "too bad we could'nt..." to go along with the rambling of what eventualylead to the dreaded world: goodbye
I could'nt make it till the end of the block when i started crying upon hearing the news.
eventhough i promised not to...i could'nt hold it in, and down the manwhole my tears ran accross the current that ran aside the sidewalk.
I still cant believe it.....and it hurts upon realization every single time im with her.
that same day....my brother almost died.
he could'nt breathe....he started to cry and was shaking with fright. Although as if death itself was standing across the room, pointing at him and louring him in his direction to come with him.
I rode with him to the hospital.
did'nt get home until 3:30 a.m.
when it rains , it pours.
seems im the recipient of bad luck, not in small amounts but in large overdoses.
he's okay now...taking his meds and being his jovial self he was before the attack, but we're all watching him just a little bit closer now.
*sighs*
what issit now.....12-11 days now?
wow.....it's just a couple of days away...
like a ticking time bomb ready to explode when both hands strike twelve.
we know it's going to happen....but rather than just hide for cover to avoid the hurt and the pain......we stand in its way, fully exposing ourselves to the real pain in waiting.
the inevitable....the tears, the pain....the ehartache.
the final goodbye.
i am writing something else, but for now, that is all i will discuss about the matter.
and as one great person leaves my life yet again....i am saying one well deserved farewell to someone that has just used me a her own persnal ego boost: Miss Billie Shears.
hey, lemme see....how would you say it? "butt-munch"
honestly, that's real hurtful there freckles....well anyway, first and foremost.....why do you still have people who dont want you in their friends list still in your friends list.
I mean , why have them if you dont want them in your life nor if they even want to be involved in yours?
me, lou, vez....i kinda haveto wonder why we're on your friends account even if we dont consider you a "friend" at all?
so with this....this is my farewell to you miss garcia.
i loved you and did whatever it was in my power to make you happy and realize what a great person you are.
almost what 5-6 years?
remember that times when you called me, tears runnign down your face, be it because you were sad or depressed and i would do whatever, be it joke or cheer you up to make you smile again.....remember all those times that happened?
well, seems that all those tears were shed for nothing.
every single phonecall and every single jke spent on you....everything to make you fell good....every happy memory and time....in the end, it meant nothing.
because why?
i dont know, nor do i care anymore.
as of friday, you no longer exist in my life....
and please, do ME the favor of deleting me off your friends's list....please, by all means, let me let YOU do the first move, the honor, as you might say, of removing me into your life first......because it seems you have had waaaaaaaaay too much time already, i guess a little while longer could'nt hurt.
but before i go...i want you to repay me all the money i have ever lent you or let you borrow for the while i've known you.
the telephone bills, the bank accounts, hell, even the fucking beatlefest and whatnot ive ever payed for you.....sure, it's been little by little, but a little goes a loong way.
i also want all the movies i let you borrow.....and dont worry, i'll return CALIGULA (the only thing i have from you that i borrowed last) in a far exchange.....because i mean, you owe me dontcha.
oh and if you ever try anything stupid....just remember, that I know alot from the times and stories we shared....would'nt it be just a little bad if any of that information was told to your father...or better yet your family?
oh, you know the ones.
aw, but i can't g into detail now, a secret is a secret, right.......that is, unless you get on my bad side, and these days, im not much into the right side of the law, if you catch my drift.
so by friday you will receive the infor on when and where to meet me so that i can be payed back....simple as that.
the end, goodbye.
with that, i have no one left.
i am alone...yet again
one goodbye will hurt me into all different directions in which i will never heal....the other, something that should have been done a while ago.
goodbye
well, there have been many rumblings around my life that have affected me in many ways...for one, a person who means the wolrd to me is leaving..
why issit that when someone who realy makes my life worth living suddenly leaves my life so sudden, so quickly.....just so....why does it have to happen.
i can question it and even start putting the blame on people, events or just simple things out of the blue...but that is'nt going to stop the innevitable.
it has to happen....why
because it's a new beginning....you cant stop a new beginning
the clean slate of starting fresh.
a rebirth.
why does it sound like this person is leaving forever, like they are disapearing from the face of the earth? why? because im scared.
I always think the worse......because this yet a nother loss i cannot have the stregth to bear.
yes, that person will visit and whatnot....but even then, a visit is a week or a month...whatever the duration of a "visit" is.....there will always be a day of the goodbye.
the times for the "wish we could've..." or "too bad we could'nt..." to go along with the rambling of what eventualylead to the dreaded world: goodbye
I could'nt make it till the end of the block when i started crying upon hearing the news.
eventhough i promised not to...i could'nt hold it in, and down the manwhole my tears ran accross the current that ran aside the sidewalk.
I still cant believe it.....and it hurts upon realization every single time im with her.
that same day....my brother almost died.
he could'nt breathe....he started to cry and was shaking with fright. Although as if death itself was standing across the room, pointing at him and louring him in his direction to come with him.
I rode with him to the hospital.
did'nt get home until 3:30 a.m.
when it rains , it pours.
seems im the recipient of bad luck, not in small amounts but in large overdoses.
he's okay now...taking his meds and being his jovial self he was before the attack, but we're all watching him just a little bit closer now.
*sighs*
what issit now.....12-11 days now?
wow.....it's just a couple of days away...
like a ticking time bomb ready to explode when both hands strike twelve.
we know it's going to happen....but rather than just hide for cover to avoid the hurt and the pain......we stand in its way, fully exposing ourselves to the real pain in waiting.
the inevitable....the tears, the pain....the ehartache.
the final goodbye.
i am writing something else, but for now, that is all i will discuss about the matter.
and as one great person leaves my life yet again....i am saying one well deserved farewell to someone that has just used me a her own persnal ego boost: Miss Billie Shears.
hey, lemme see....how would you say it? "butt-munch"
honestly, that's real hurtful there freckles....well anyway, first and foremost.....why do you still have people who dont want you in their friends list still in your friends list.
I mean , why have them if you dont want them in your life nor if they even want to be involved in yours?
me, lou, vez....i kinda haveto wonder why we're on your friends account even if we dont consider you a "friend" at all?
so with this....this is my farewell to you miss garcia.
i loved you and did whatever it was in my power to make you happy and realize what a great person you are.
almost what 5-6 years?
remember that times when you called me, tears runnign down your face, be it because you were sad or depressed and i would do whatever, be it joke or cheer you up to make you smile again.....remember all those times that happened?
well, seems that all those tears were shed for nothing.
every single phonecall and every single jke spent on you....everything to make you fell good....every happy memory and time....in the end, it meant nothing.
because why?
i dont know, nor do i care anymore.
as of friday, you no longer exist in my life....
and please, do ME the favor of deleting me off your friends's list....please, by all means, let me let YOU do the first move, the honor, as you might say, of removing me into your life first......because it seems you have had waaaaaaaaay too much time already, i guess a little while longer could'nt hurt.
but before i go...i want you to repay me all the money i have ever lent you or let you borrow for the while i've known you.
the telephone bills, the bank accounts, hell, even the fucking beatlefest and whatnot ive ever payed for you.....sure, it's been little by little, but a little goes a loong way.
i also want all the movies i let you borrow.....and dont worry, i'll return CALIGULA (the only thing i have from you that i borrowed last) in a far exchange.....because i mean, you owe me dontcha.
oh and if you ever try anything stupid....just remember, that I know alot from the times and stories we shared....would'nt it be just a little bad if any of that information was told to your father...or better yet your family?
oh, you know the ones.
aw, but i can't g into detail now, a secret is a secret, right.......that is, unless you get on my bad side, and these days, im not much into the right side of the law, if you catch my drift.
so by friday you will receive the infor on when and where to meet me so that i can be payed back....simple as that.
the end, goodbye.
with that, i have no one left.
i am alone...yet again
one goodbye will hurt me into all different directions in which i will never heal....the other, something that should have been done a while ago.
goodbye