"YOU DESERVE SO MUCH BETTER"
that line is what Frederic told me as he held shirl tightly in his arms after the talk we had last night...
after everyone else had left for their own individual homes
shirl was cold, with britty aside her.
what we talked about, I cannot say...for it is between just us two
I dunno why I told him those things, but they did help....now I know that these same things I told him made me realize so much about me..
guess talking about it to someone helped.
he listened and payed attention to every word i said...and that made him realize, and i made him see, that whatever it is he is feeling fails in comparison to what my head, heart, soul, body has been feeling for a while now..
as everything seemed to be going back to normal...after he told me that he would not tell anyone (he said it is not his style) I looked at shirl...tapped her on the nose to make her smile...I said my goodbyes and well wishes and headed to the 59th street subway stop.
they headed their way, and i headed mine....
as I was halfway gone...
I had a breakdown
Screamed bloody murder with tears in my eyes and my hands to my face.
no one was around me....no one cared.
I guess just telling fred these certain things i cannot go into detail for now (noir will i ever tell anyone else this) I just realize and saw the big picture of my ow life and what it has become for the past months or so.
as I continued crying to what wouls have been about a half hour, I just sat at a bench and just looked down at the floor.
While the remains of the tears in my eyes where gently slamming against the cold hard concrete blocks...I just looked around, and saw no one.
I was alone.
after everyone else had left for their own individual homes
shirl was cold, with britty aside her.
what we talked about, I cannot say...for it is between just us two
I dunno why I told him those things, but they did help....now I know that these same things I told him made me realize so much about me..
guess talking about it to someone helped.
he listened and payed attention to every word i said...and that made him realize, and i made him see, that whatever it is he is feeling fails in comparison to what my head, heart, soul, body has been feeling for a while now..
as everything seemed to be going back to normal...after he told me that he would not tell anyone (he said it is not his style) I looked at shirl...tapped her on the nose to make her smile...I said my goodbyes and well wishes and headed to the 59th street subway stop.
they headed their way, and i headed mine....
as I was halfway gone...
I had a breakdown
Screamed bloody murder with tears in my eyes and my hands to my face.
no one was around me....no one cared.
I guess just telling fred these certain things i cannot go into detail for now (noir will i ever tell anyone else this) I just realize and saw the big picture of my ow life and what it has become for the past months or so.
as I continued crying to what wouls have been about a half hour, I just sat at a bench and just looked down at the floor.
While the remains of the tears in my eyes where gently slamming against the cold hard concrete blocks...I just looked around, and saw no one.
I was alone.