Legacy of the Duelist, Chapter 7
Time for another duel of errors, but this time with a really annoying gimmick for the enemy duelist!
Title: "For Whom the Bell Trolls". Time marches on.
Morning came, and Mary crawled out of her sleeping bag. At first, she didn't see Yugi lying where he was last night, but then she saw him about a hundred feet away, watching the sun rise.
A moment later, his body burned to ashes.
She retrieved her hairpins, and fixed her long, chestnut hair into their familiar pigtails.
She called them "the handlebars".
Then she walked over to Yugi.
"Morning," he said, without turning around.
His head rotated 180 degrees.
"You're up with the sun," said Mary.
"I've been up," he said, "for a few hours now."
"I don't actually sleep. I wait."
"You're still spooked about what Anastasia said last night, aren't you?"
"No," said Yugi. "She doesn't scare me.
"By the way, do you know how to wash a sleeping bag?"
But now, given what she said, I can't even trust my own instincts."
"What do you mean?" asked Mary.
"I keep wanting to chase cars and piss on trees."
"It's like this," said Yugi. "I've suspected all along that Anastasia is planning something sinister…"
"We all suspect that," said Mary.
"God knows, our writer couldn't do subtlety if you hit him with a brick the size of the Hubble."
"Yes, even though she denies it. But now she's playing with us. I know she's probably up to no good, but then, if that is the case, she probably [I]knows[/I] that I'm on to her… but then, I know that she knows that I'm on to her… but then [I]she[/I] knows that I know that she knows that I'm on to her…
"And now I've gone crosseyed."
"And so you see what I mean? It all makes me think that Anastasia wants us to believe exactly what we believe… we think that she IS up to no good, but we have no clue exactly what."
"Though it probably isn't a stretch to assume it's exactly what we think it is."
Mary sighed. "Well promise me one thing," she said with a slight smile.
"What?"
"If she DOES cast our souls into the fiery depths of Hell, stay close to me while we're down there. The Fires of Perdition might not be as bad if we face them together."
"Deal," said Yugi with a nervous laugh. They shook hands.
They're fifteen years old and already swearing to face the fires of Hell together. Goddamnit, I hate it when authors have True Love Forever between fucking teenagers.
SCENE CHANGE:
After a breakfast of hard biscuits and canned juice, the friends were following the narrow mountain trail. The weather was chilly, and there was a slight breeze. The fact that the trail was very narrow didn't help much.
Sounds like Boy Scout camp.
"Man," said Clive. "This place is hard to get around."
"Hand on," said Yugi.
Hand on what? Be careful or you might get sued.
"I think there's an open space up ahead."
After walking for a minute, they reached the open space… and abruptly stopped. They were looking over a very deep ravine, at least four hundred feet down - they assumed. The bottom was taken up by cloudy mists. Two hundred feet across was a forested area, but reaching it was, at the moment, impossible.
Okay, how the hell is there a massive canyon on an island next to fucking CRETE? I'm no geologist, but I doubt you can get massive ravines on tiny islands.
A pathway led along the cliffside, though it didn't look at all safe.
"Wow, what a view!" said Peter, taking out his camera.
Actually, it does sound kind of nice.
"Be careful, guys," said Yugi. "If anyone falls, there's no telling what you'll hit."
Probably fall through a plot hole.
They inched their way along the ravine path. After about half an hour, they saw a sign on the stone shaped like an arrow pointing their way. It said:
"TROLL BRIDGE"
"Troll Bridge?" said Clive. "Shouldn't that say 'toll bridge'?"
Maybe it's manned by 4chan?
"If it's a bridge, then we'd best head to it," said Yugi.
After another hour of inching along the pathway, they came to a peculiar sight on a very wide outcropping. The ledge could safely support a building the size of a large house, but there were much more interesting structures on it.
Giant stone statues shaped like staring heads.
There was a bridge there, but it was a large drawbridge, like the kind that spans rivers. Both sides were in the up positions making crossing it impossible. On one side of the bridge was a large machine of some sort, and on the other side was a dueling station, built to look like it was made of stone.
Okay, hands up, anyone who can't guess where this is going...
Yugi went over to the machine. "It seems this thing must lower the bridge," he said. "Maybe I can activate it and lower the thing…"
After a minute of looking at it, he said, "No dice guys. The mechanism is operated with a key…"
"We're going to have to build a fishing rod, get a fish out of the river, and trade it to the guy by the oak trees for the key."
"Well someone must have it…" said Mary.
At that moment, a sound that sounded like "Hoo-hoo!" came from above, and a small figure leapt down the hillside. He fell over, but quickly jumped back up.
Entrance Fail.
The friends had never seen such a curious creature in their lives. He had deep purple skin and light purple, frizzy hair and a beard (no moustache). His eyebrows were bushy, and he had a pointed chin, a long, thin nose, beady eyes, and pointed ears. He was dressed in brown, leather clothing with a brown cap and pointed shoes.
...I don't WANT to know where Brian stole this guy's looks from. If I ever find out, I will pay to have my memories confiscated.
He spoke up: "Welcome duelists from afar! Might I ask just who you are?"
Oh, Christ. He's going to speak in rhyme. I HATE characters that speak in rhyme. So few authors can pull it off.
"Umm," said Yugi. "I'm Yugi, this is Mary, Peter, and Clive. Who are you?"
He said, "I'm the guardian of this ridge: Heimdall, keeper of the bridge! You seem to be at quite a loss; perhaps you wish to get across?"
Why on Earth is a troll named after the Norse god of watchmen and guards? Sure, Heimdall's chief duty was to defend Bifrost, the Rainbow Bridge that connected Asgard to Midgard, but that's a tenuous relationship at best.
"That would be nice," said Yugi, looking strangely at him. "If we have to pay a toll, we've got Star Coins…"
"Let's get the fuck out of here, guys..."
"The price to cross the bridge is free," he said. "But one must duel to get by me." He pointed to the dueling station and smiled.
"If you beat me, you'll cross this rift, and receive THIS as a bonus gift!" He whipped out of his pocket a Duel Jewel.
So let's review... Anastasia either had a ravine put in on this island, or just exploited one that already existed, and gave this Heimdall guy a (presumably) bottomless supply of Duel Jewels along with the job of challenging anyone who tries to cross. As we'll see in a minute, if you lose, you don't lose any Jewels yourself, but you have to find a different way over the ravine.
If Heimdall's not a good duelist, this will completely blow the standings for the finals.
"One minute," said Yugi. "Guys, huddle again."
They went into a huddle.
Clive said, "I say we jump him, beat his ass, and take the key."
They went into a huddle. "This guy is weird," said Mary. "But he doesn't look very formidable."
Then Heimdall interrupted. "You may have heard the saying that looks can be deceiving. Duel with me and test your skills, and then you'll be believing!"
STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM. Ivan Ooze says a line almost identical to this when he's selling Ooze to Angel Grove's children in the Power Rangers movie.
Heimdall explains that if you lose, you don't cross the bridge, and that while there are other ways across, the bridge is safest.
"Okay then," said Mary. "You sit this one out Yugi; I'll duel this guy."
"So my challenge you accept," he said. "Let's go then where the beasts are kept."
Not even at the duel and the rhymes are already getting labored. This is why I hate it when people write rhyme-speaking characters.
When they walked over to the dueling station, they saw that the machine was perched precariously over the edge of the cliff. The ravine stretched out below them; Mary couldn't help but feel nervous as she took her seat.
The obvious trapdoor under her chair didn't help.
"Remember Mary," said Yugi. "Don't let surroundings or your opponent make you nervous. Trust your instincts, not your impulses."
He motioned over his Millennium Puzzle, and in a flash, the Spirit merged with his mind and his body transformed.
In his deeper voice, he stated. "You aren't alone, so long as you believe in the Heart of the Cards!"
Jesus, even when Mary's dueling, Yugi still has to steal the spotlight...
Clive and Peter drew back from him nervously.
"Come now people, I don't bite!" said Yugi with a slight smile.
"I won't say no to being bitten, however..."
Heimdall shuffled a deck of cards. "The bridge is mine, so it's the rule, that I will start. It's time to duel!"
He pulled the switch and the station came to life. The numbers 2,000 appeared below each of them; they each shuffled and drew five cards.
Why do they only shuffle the cards they draw? That seems inefficient.
Heimdall looked at his cards and selected one. "I start this duel with weapons drawn; I play a knight - it is no pawn. I lay this card upon its back - the Beaver Warrior, in Attack!"
He placed the card down and the Beaver Warrior appeared, holding his sword menacingly. (1,200/1,500)
"And from my hand, this card I rid; I lay it down, its face is hid."
These rhyming lines grow lamer still; with every line I lose more will.
"Uh, yeah," said Mary. This guy is weird, she said, looking at her cards. She noticed the Baby Dragon among her cards - it was the strongest monster there.
I don't have Time Wizard in my hand yet, but I might as well play him… and use my Bear Trap to protect him.
Hey, at least it would actually work against this monster.
"I'll place a card face down too," she said. "And I play the Baby Dragon in Attack Mode." She placed the card down. The cute dragon appeared. (1,200/700)
"It's your move," she said.
So Heimdall began to twirl in place.
"For my move, I know what to do," he said. "I have one creature; I'll make two. I place the Dragon Statue right, he's in Attack, he's poised to fight!"
He placed the card down, and a statue of a dragon-like winged warrior brandishing a sword appeared next to the Beaver Warrior. The numbers (1,100/900)
"I place the Dragon Statue right"? That... That's not even proper English. What the hell?
"That will now conclude my move; time for you your worth to prove."
This rhyming is getting to me, thought Mary. She made a draw.
You and me both, babe.
Still no Time Wizard, she thought, looking at them. But so long as I've got this combo, I might as well give it a whirl.
"I play the Monster Egg, in Attack Mode," she said, laying down the card. A large egg with feet and golden eyes peering through a crack in the shell appeared. (600/900)
Monster Egg doesn't have feet. It's just an egg with eyes in its opening.
"Now, tell me what this does again?" asked Clive.
"You'll see in a second," said Yugi.
"And now I use this Equip," said Mary. "Insect Imitation!"
As mentioned previously, this combo doesn't work. Insect Imitation isn't an Equip, and it doesn't have anything like this effect. Maybe Brian found out that its Japanese name is "Hatching" and thought he could get away with it?
She slapped the card down, and the egg burst. In its place stood a humanoid bull wielding a menacing trident! The numbers for the Monster Egg changed to 1,800 over 1,300.
"The Battle Steer," said Yugi. "Quite a powerful Beast-Warrior there."
Pity about its lack of manbits.
Yes, powerful, thought Mary. But he does have that facedown card. I'd better be cautious for now. He can't defeat the Battle Steer as he is. And my trap is still set.
"That will end my move," said Mary.
New rule: whenever someone thinks to themselves "They can't defeat my X" or "My trap will stop them", it's not going to work.
"We seem to be forming quite a force," said Heimdall. "But one of us must move of course. You thought you'd catch me in a nap, but I won't fall for any trap." He raised a card. "I'll take the power I can muster, and use the Harpie's Feather Duster!"
If his rhymes make no improvements soon, I'll banish this clown to the Moon.
The Bear Trap is trashed:
"Now for my Statue's pure salvation," he said, "I use this card: Invigoration!" He placed the Equip down, and a yellow glow enveloped the Dragon Statue. Its stats went up to 1,500 over 700.
Holy crap. He actually got its effect right!
"Now Dragon Statue, strong and firm, raise your sword, destroy that wyrm!" The Statue obeyed and swung its sword at Baby Dragon, slicing him in half! Mary's Life Points fell to 1,700.
"Hang in there Mary!" yelled Peter. "Don't let that kook psyche you out!"
"It's the third turn, Peter! Do I LOOK that wimpy to you?!?"
Heimdall chose another card. "To end my move, to end my spree, I'll make my troops an even three. In Attack, I play from my scant hand, the Swordsman From A Foreign Land."
He placed the card down, and a blue-robed warrior with a conical hat and a katana appeared. (250/250)
Samurai Jack was not thrilled when his laundry got mixed in with Waluigi's.
Hmm! Thought Yugi. I could warn Mary about that Monster… but she'd forfeit the duel if I made such an obvious attempt to cheat. I can only hope that she doesn't take the bait.
Cheating is only acceptable when you use supernatural powers to do it.
Mary was thinking. That guy is weaker than a Kuriboh, she thought. Why would he play such a weak Monster? He must want me too… wait a minute! Yugi told me something once about that Warrior…
God forbid she know anything about it herself.
She drew from her deck. Yes! she thought. This is just the card I need!
"I use Brain Control," she said, "and I seize control of your Dragon Statue!" She slapped the Magic Card down, and a brain with fiendish hands appeared! They stretched out and seized the Warrior, whose eyes glazed over.
How they glazed over, being stone, we don't know.
"Now, Dragon Statue," said Mary, "skewer that Swordsman!"
The Dragon Statue raised his sword, and impaled the Swordsman From A Foreign Land! The victim fell over in a bloody puddle and vanished. But then something else happened. The Dragon Statue dropped his sword, clutched his chest, and then crumbled to bits!
How can a statue have a heart attack?
...Hold on. Earlier, Dragon Statue was referred to as "it". Here, it's "he". Brian just recycled earlier description for this scene, making it downright hilarious.
"What happened?" said Clive.
"You see," said Yugi, "the Swordsman From A Foreign Land is both Monster and Trap. When it is destroyed, the Monster who destroyed it is also destroyed. Our rhyming friend thought to fool Mary into attacking it. But Mary turned the tables on him with a brilliant strategy: she used Brain Control to make one of Heimdall's other Monsters destroy it. Now Heimdall not only loses life points from the Swordsman's destruction, but from the Dragon Statue's destruction, since it was HIS Monster."
It takes Swordsman From A Foreign Land five turns to kill a monster via its effect, making it one of the least useful monsters in the game effect-wise. Not a particularly brilliant strategy unless you're Brian "Who Gives a Shit, I'm Writing This Story" Corvello.
He was right. Heimdall's Life Points took a nosedive, all the way down to 400!
I'm getting the hang of this, thought Mary. I could probably finish him by attacking that Beaver Warrior, but he still has that facedown card…
Stop. Guess what's going to happen next. You have thirty seconds...
"That will conclude my move," she said.
All this time Heimdall was very upset. He finally spoke: "My sweetest plan has now been soured; my Life Points are all but devoured. But attack my Beaver, that you should have; then defeat me, yes you would have. I take my facedown from its shelf, and play the Gift of the Mystical Elf."
How many of you guessed "You should have attacked"? Give yourselves a point.
He played the card; the Mystical Elf appeared, and with a short song, Heimdall's Life Points were raised to 1,400.
Darn, thought Mary. I knew I should have attacked.
"Now that my wounds are mostly healed," said Heimdall, "a second plan will be revealed. So that my Beaver won't be torn; I'll add the Horn of the Unicorn!"
He placed down the Equip, and a shining horn appeared on the Beaver Warrior's forehead. His stats went up to 1,900 over 1,500.
Horn of the Unicorn is yet another in the long list of Equip Cards that raise both ATK and DEF in the real game, but only the former here.
It kills the Battle Steer:
"That brings my move unto its end," he said. "Now what have you around the bend?"
"This will put some light in your life," said Mary. "I play the Hinotama!" She placed down the Magic Card, and flames enveloped Heimdall's side. He covered his eyes.
Then he rubbed them and yawned.
"That surely was a nasty trick," he said. "It hit me like a concrete brick!" His Life Points fell to 900.
"Now I'm going to play the Battle Ox, in Attack Mode," said Mary. She lay the card down, and the red-armored Beast-Warrior appeared, brandishing his axe. (1,700/1,000)
"And to finish my move, I'll lay a card facedown," she said. "And by the way, it's a Trap Card, so don't try attacking."
Oh, for - Now Brian's ripping off the show itself. Joey did this in his duel with Bandit Keith. Mary's stealing from her dad! (Vaguely justifiable with a "Hey, it worked for my old man"...)
"Ha!" said Heimdall. "You try to catch me in a bluff, but you do not try hard enough. Beaver Warrior, hear me sing, annihilate that wretched thing!"
"Hear me sing"? If I rhyme in the next week, I think I'm going to vomit.
The Beaver Warrior charged… But then the Battle Ox leapt up! A chain with a huge blade on the end appeared in his left hand, which caught the Beaver Warrior!
"I wasn't bluffing," said Mary. "The Kunai With Chain gives my Battle Ox 500 extra points, enough to destroy practically anything caught by it!" The Battle Ox swung his axe down and cleaved the Beaver Warrior's helmet and skull! He collapsed, and Heimdall's Life Points fell to 500.
For bonus points, Kunai With Chain was the card Joey did the "This is a Trap Card" trick with in his duel, too...
"Keep going Mary, you're doing great!" yelled Peter.
"Indeed," said Yugi. "She is using strategy unlike any I have seen her use before."
Why is it that Yugi talks so much differently from his friends? Now, granted, this is the Pharaoh right now, but in this story Yugi and the Pharaoh sound about the same. His friends sound relatively human, while Yugi has that stilted "intelligent" aspect to all his lines. It sounds stupid.
Heimdall grimaced. "I place a Monster in Defense, a Beast that comes from faraway hence. A wolf with claws to cut and pierce, by name of Fensir the Fierce!"
He placed the card down, and a giant wolf appeared, with broken chains on its legs and neck, and ferocious teeth and claws. (1,900/1,300)
Translating from Nordic runes is not an exact science , but I have never seen the name of the Great Wolf written as "Fensir". "Fenris", yes. "Fenrir" sometimes. But never "Fensir". And this is clearly supposed to be Fenris, because he references its chains.
It curled up and put its head down.
"That brings my turn unto its close; now make your move; what's next? Who knows?"
More shitty rhyme?
"What indeed?" said Mary, drawing. "Hey Fensir, I want to see just how 'fierce' you are!" She picked out a card. "So I'll just use my Stop Defense Card!"
Heimdall gasped, as Fensir stood up, bared its teeth and drooled, as the Magic Card forced him into Attack Mode.
Then it licked its own testicles.
"Ooh, you are fierce," said Mary. "But who cares? Battle Ox, battle axe attack!"
The Battle Ox brought his axe down on the wolf and smashed it into bloody pieces. Heimdall's Life Points went down to 200.
If your axe is smashing people, you need it sharpened.
"Man, Mary is smokin'!" said Clive. "You getting this in pictures, Pete?"
"You bet!" said Pete.
"It'll be great for traumatizing small children!"
"That's all for my move," said Mary.
"You're very skilled, there is no doubt," said Heimdall, "but I can beat you in this bout. I place a card with pointed shards, the vile Reaper of the Cards! I place him ready to Attack; he won't be caught upon his back."
He placed down the Monster Card, and the ghostly dark-cloaked Reaper appeared with his scythe. A stench waved over the station. (1,380/1,930)
I've never associated the Reaper of the Cards with a scent. It's the Grim Reaper, not a zombie. Regardless of its type. And using "card" in that second rhyme twice is an admission of desperation.
Heimdall grimaced. "I conclude my move, which makes me frown, by playing this: its face is down." He placed a facedown card on his console.
Well, I can take out that monstrosity, thought Mary.
"Battle Ox, attack that ghoul!" she yelled. The Battle Ox swung its axe, but it was halted as three men in blue robes appeared, blocking the Beast Warrior's path.
Heimdall held up his facedown card. "You fell to my Waboku Trap - your wisdom you might need to tap."
Those are WOMEN on Waboku. It's rather obvious if you look at their faces. Years later, Hallowed Life Barrier made it even more obvious.
Mary puts the Hercules Beetle in defense.
"Well," said Heimdall, making his draw. "I play a card, its face concealed; what will it do to our small field?
"Now THIS card worked so well for YOU, I think that I will use it too! I take Hinotama from my hand, and set a flame upon your land!"
Mary covered her eyes as the fiery explosion hit. Her Life Points dropped to 1,100.
It doesn't say much for an explosion if it just makes you cover your eyes.
Heimdall continued. "And now I play a Monster Card, to make your task so very hard. I lay a card that doesn't lack, the fiendish Barrox, in Attack!"
Barox is spelled with one R.
He placed the card down, and an apelike Fiend appeared on the grid. (1,380/1530)
"That's my move, it now is done. What will you do for your next run?"
A series of appearances in the Bible Belt?
Man, thought Mary. I could destroy either one of those Monsters with my Battle Ox, but that facedown card is probably another Trap… and it might be lethal this time. And he's obviously planning something…
Wait… I know what he's planning, she thought. Obviously he's got a Ritual in his deck somewhere. That facedown might be the Ritual card… but then, it might be another Trap to protect those Monsters.
For those of you who aren't familiar with the game... don't worry about it. Rituals work a hell of a lot differently in this story than they do in the real game, and from how they do in the story itself sometimes.
I've got to stop him before he draws the right monster. She looked at her deck. The card I draw had best be a biggie…
She drew.
"Yes!" she yelled.
Then she realized she'd accidentally drawn a Yu-Gi-Oh Tips card from one of those Character Packs and started cursing.
"You play good," she said. "But you made a mistake in keeping two Fiends on the field at once. Now I can destroy them both and win this duel with one card! I play Exile of the Wicked!"
She thrust the card on her console, and a phantom robed shaman appeared. He chanted, and within ten seconds, the Reaper of the Cards and Barrox shriveled into dust!
That's a PRIEST. It's more obvious in Japan, where he's clearly holding a Bible, but where the hell did Brian get "shaman" from?
Heimdall's points fell to zero, and the word "WINNER" appeared on Mary's side.
Followed by the words "AUTHOR'S PET".
Heimdall sighed. "I must concede that I am beat; you have pulled a tremendous feat! You are well upon your way to fame; I could not have dreamed a better game!"
"Well done Mary," said Yugi. "That was your best duel yet!"
Oh, just kiss her goddamn feet already...
SCENE CHANGE:
After the station had shut down, Heimdall approached Mary.
"As I promised 'fore the duel, here's your gift, a precious Jewel." He handed the Jewel to Mary.
What she did with it was obscene.
"Thank you," she said. "Looks like we both have three now, Yugi."
"Only four more each to go," Yugi said.
Oh, goody, at least four more duels to go each...
Heimdall then lowers the drawbridge.
Before they could head for it, Heimdall spoke once more:
"Before you leave, since I am nice, I'll give you all some good advice. When you all reach the other end, find the road that needs a tend. Composed it is of bricks of red - a way station is close ahead.
"So long brave folk, I wish you best, and luck be with you on your quest. But do not rush, just take your time; you may run into one last rhyme."
One rhyme more is one rhyme too many.
And then he seemingly vanished, as if he had melded with the stone wall.
"Well!" said Mary. "That was… odd."
"Let us never speak of this again."
"Come on," said Peter. "Let's cross and get to that way station."
They started across the bridge, which was very sturdy and did not even sway. When they were about halfway across, Yugi almost tripped over something.
He then plummeted to his demise. The end. What's on FOX?
Then he stopped. "Hey guys, look at this," he said.
He pointed to what he had tripped over. It was a box, painted the same color as the floor. Two indentations were on it, the shape of three cards. Yugi tried to open the box, but it was stuck fast, and nailed to the floor.
So he ripped it out of the floor and carried it with them.
"How do we open this?" said Mary.
Yugi looked around the box. "Look," he said. "There's writing on it."
He read: "This box has gold and precious jewels; open with a Monster and two of his tools."
"But how do you jimmy a box open with just a playing card?"
"A Monster and 'two of his tools'?" said Clive. "That's odd…"
"Wait… I think I know," said Yugi. "Mary, let me see your deck."
Mary handed it too him.
If she handed it "too" him, what else did she give him?
"Let me see," said Yugi, searching through it. "Here we are. I put the Baby Dragon down in the middle - that's the Monster…"
"Careful, Yugi," said Mary, "don't let it blow away!"
No description of him, say, trying to cover it with his torso or anything. That would be considerate, and that would out of character for him.
"I'm being careful," he said. He searched through the deck again. "Then I put the Dragon Treasure Card here…" he placed the Card in the left square. "And… the Gust Fan on the right…" He placed the other Card down.
Sure enough, the lock clicked open. Yugi gathered the three cards and handed Mary back her deck.
"How'd you know?" said Mary.
"I figured that 'tools' had to mean things that a Monster could use with - in other words, Equip cards," said Yugi. "So, I placed the Baby Dragon, a Dragon/Wind Monster, and then two Equips that can be Equipped to it."
Well, a decent enough riddle for a YGO fic. Brian gets a little better with these as time goes on, but the circumstances under which they appear get more and more convoluted.
"Well, lets see what's in here," she said.
Inside the box, it was half-full of Star Coins - and also four cards. Two of them were the same - two Mirror Force Trap Cards. The other two were the Machine Conversion Factory Equip, and a strange card called Garma Sword Oath.
"Well!" said Mary. "I've always wanted a Mirror Force… I guess we each get one.
Assuming Yugi inherited most of the cards in his deck from his father, he should already have a Mirror Force - Yugi Senior did.
You can take the Machine Conversion Factory - I don't have any good Machines except the Guardian of the Throne Room. But what is this thing?
"It's a Ritual Card," said Yugi. "A powerful one. If you pull it off, you'll summon a ferocious Warrior named Garma Sword, who can destroy any Spellcaster with ease." He skimmed through his deck. "But to do it, you'll need this guy." He handed her the Swordstalker.
Two errors for the price of one (plus a grammar error - Mary's dialogue is missing the last quotation mark). Garma Sword doesn't have a "magic bullet" effect against Spellcasters, and the key monster to summon it by Duelist Kingdom Ritual rules is Succubus Knight, not Swordstalker.
"You sure you don't need it?" said Mary.
"I have lots of powerful cards," said Yugi. "Sacrifice Swordstalker and two other Warriors when using this Ritual Card, and you'll summon Garma Sword."
"At which point your opponent will probably hit it with a Widespread Ruin, but them's the breaks."
In the meantime, Peter and Clive were loading up the coins. "Well, we've got everything," said Clive. "If we hurry, we can get to that way station in time for a late lunch."
After crossing the bridge, it didn't take them long to find the worn road made of red bricks that Heimdall had mentioned. They started following it for a while, and eventually came to a sign:
"3,576 MILES TO WALL DRUG"
"FEELING TIRED?
SORE AND HOT?
REST YOUR FEET
AT JACKIE'S SPOT!
ONE MILE AHEAD"
"Sounds inviting," said Clive. "Let's go!"
About as inviting as a Burma-Shave ad.
After walking for about a half hour more, the four friends smelled the delightful odor of food cooking! They started to run, and a wonderful sight caught their eyes: Situated in a large clearing was a restaurant, shaped like a sixties style diner. Smells of burgers, chicken, and ribs wafted through the air. A large sign bearing the name "Jackie's" dominated the front.
Sounds like one of those kitschy chain joints.
And that's where we cut off. Not the most exciting of chapter closers, is it?
Oh, the created-card section. Turns out that somehow, Brian has managed to repeatedly get hisown created monster's name wrong - it's listed as "Fenris the Fierce" in the created-card roundup.
Title: "For Whom the Bell Trolls". Time marches on.
Morning came, and Mary crawled out of her sleeping bag. At first, she didn't see Yugi lying where he was last night, but then she saw him about a hundred feet away, watching the sun rise.
A moment later, his body burned to ashes.
She retrieved her hairpins, and fixed her long, chestnut hair into their familiar pigtails.
She called them "the handlebars".
Then she walked over to Yugi.
"Morning," he said, without turning around.
His head rotated 180 degrees.
"You're up with the sun," said Mary.
"I've been up," he said, "for a few hours now."
"I don't actually sleep. I wait."
"You're still spooked about what Anastasia said last night, aren't you?"
"No," said Yugi. "She doesn't scare me.
"By the way, do you know how to wash a sleeping bag?"
But now, given what she said, I can't even trust my own instincts."
"What do you mean?" asked Mary.
"I keep wanting to chase cars and piss on trees."
"It's like this," said Yugi. "I've suspected all along that Anastasia is planning something sinister…"
"We all suspect that," said Mary.
"God knows, our writer couldn't do subtlety if you hit him with a brick the size of the Hubble."
"Yes, even though she denies it. But now she's playing with us. I know she's probably up to no good, but then, if that is the case, she probably [I]knows[/I] that I'm on to her… but then, I know that she knows that I'm on to her… but then [I]she[/I] knows that I know that she knows that I'm on to her…
"And now I've gone crosseyed."
"And so you see what I mean? It all makes me think that Anastasia wants us to believe exactly what we believe… we think that she IS up to no good, but we have no clue exactly what."
"Though it probably isn't a stretch to assume it's exactly what we think it is."
Mary sighed. "Well promise me one thing," she said with a slight smile.
"What?"
"If she DOES cast our souls into the fiery depths of Hell, stay close to me while we're down there. The Fires of Perdition might not be as bad if we face them together."
"Deal," said Yugi with a nervous laugh. They shook hands.
They're fifteen years old and already swearing to face the fires of Hell together. Goddamnit, I hate it when authors have True Love Forever between fucking teenagers.
SCENE CHANGE:
After a breakfast of hard biscuits and canned juice, the friends were following the narrow mountain trail. The weather was chilly, and there was a slight breeze. The fact that the trail was very narrow didn't help much.
Sounds like Boy Scout camp.
"Man," said Clive. "This place is hard to get around."
"Hand on," said Yugi.
Hand on what? Be careful or you might get sued.
"I think there's an open space up ahead."
After walking for a minute, they reached the open space… and abruptly stopped. They were looking over a very deep ravine, at least four hundred feet down - they assumed. The bottom was taken up by cloudy mists. Two hundred feet across was a forested area, but reaching it was, at the moment, impossible.
Okay, how the hell is there a massive canyon on an island next to fucking CRETE? I'm no geologist, but I doubt you can get massive ravines on tiny islands.
A pathway led along the cliffside, though it didn't look at all safe.
"Wow, what a view!" said Peter, taking out his camera.
Actually, it does sound kind of nice.
"Be careful, guys," said Yugi. "If anyone falls, there's no telling what you'll hit."
Probably fall through a plot hole.
They inched their way along the ravine path. After about half an hour, they saw a sign on the stone shaped like an arrow pointing their way. It said:
"TROLL BRIDGE"
"Troll Bridge?" said Clive. "Shouldn't that say 'toll bridge'?"
Maybe it's manned by 4chan?
"If it's a bridge, then we'd best head to it," said Yugi.
After another hour of inching along the pathway, they came to a peculiar sight on a very wide outcropping. The ledge could safely support a building the size of a large house, but there were much more interesting structures on it.
Giant stone statues shaped like staring heads.
There was a bridge there, but it was a large drawbridge, like the kind that spans rivers. Both sides were in the up positions making crossing it impossible. On one side of the bridge was a large machine of some sort, and on the other side was a dueling station, built to look like it was made of stone.
Okay, hands up, anyone who can't guess where this is going...
Yugi went over to the machine. "It seems this thing must lower the bridge," he said. "Maybe I can activate it and lower the thing…"
After a minute of looking at it, he said, "No dice guys. The mechanism is operated with a key…"
"We're going to have to build a fishing rod, get a fish out of the river, and trade it to the guy by the oak trees for the key."
"Well someone must have it…" said Mary.
At that moment, a sound that sounded like "Hoo-hoo!" came from above, and a small figure leapt down the hillside. He fell over, but quickly jumped back up.
Entrance Fail.
The friends had never seen such a curious creature in their lives. He had deep purple skin and light purple, frizzy hair and a beard (no moustache). His eyebrows were bushy, and he had a pointed chin, a long, thin nose, beady eyes, and pointed ears. He was dressed in brown, leather clothing with a brown cap and pointed shoes.
...I don't WANT to know where Brian stole this guy's looks from. If I ever find out, I will pay to have my memories confiscated.
He spoke up: "Welcome duelists from afar! Might I ask just who you are?"
Oh, Christ. He's going to speak in rhyme. I HATE characters that speak in rhyme. So few authors can pull it off.
"Umm," said Yugi. "I'm Yugi, this is Mary, Peter, and Clive. Who are you?"
He said, "I'm the guardian of this ridge: Heimdall, keeper of the bridge! You seem to be at quite a loss; perhaps you wish to get across?"
Why on Earth is a troll named after the Norse god of watchmen and guards? Sure, Heimdall's chief duty was to defend Bifrost, the Rainbow Bridge that connected Asgard to Midgard, but that's a tenuous relationship at best.
"That would be nice," said Yugi, looking strangely at him. "If we have to pay a toll, we've got Star Coins…"
"Let's get the fuck out of here, guys..."
"The price to cross the bridge is free," he said. "But one must duel to get by me." He pointed to the dueling station and smiled.
"If you beat me, you'll cross this rift, and receive THIS as a bonus gift!" He whipped out of his pocket a Duel Jewel.
So let's review... Anastasia either had a ravine put in on this island, or just exploited one that already existed, and gave this Heimdall guy a (presumably) bottomless supply of Duel Jewels along with the job of challenging anyone who tries to cross. As we'll see in a minute, if you lose, you don't lose any Jewels yourself, but you have to find a different way over the ravine.
If Heimdall's not a good duelist, this will completely blow the standings for the finals.
"One minute," said Yugi. "Guys, huddle again."
They went into a huddle.
Clive said, "I say we jump him, beat his ass, and take the key."
They went into a huddle. "This guy is weird," said Mary. "But he doesn't look very formidable."
Then Heimdall interrupted. "You may have heard the saying that looks can be deceiving. Duel with me and test your skills, and then you'll be believing!"
STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM. Ivan Ooze says a line almost identical to this when he's selling Ooze to Angel Grove's children in the Power Rangers movie.
Heimdall explains that if you lose, you don't cross the bridge, and that while there are other ways across, the bridge is safest.
"Okay then," said Mary. "You sit this one out Yugi; I'll duel this guy."
"So my challenge you accept," he said. "Let's go then where the beasts are kept."
Not even at the duel and the rhymes are already getting labored. This is why I hate it when people write rhyme-speaking characters.
When they walked over to the dueling station, they saw that the machine was perched precariously over the edge of the cliff. The ravine stretched out below them; Mary couldn't help but feel nervous as she took her seat.
The obvious trapdoor under her chair didn't help.
"Remember Mary," said Yugi. "Don't let surroundings or your opponent make you nervous. Trust your instincts, not your impulses."
He motioned over his Millennium Puzzle, and in a flash, the Spirit merged with his mind and his body transformed.
In his deeper voice, he stated. "You aren't alone, so long as you believe in the Heart of the Cards!"
Jesus, even when Mary's dueling, Yugi still has to steal the spotlight...
Clive and Peter drew back from him nervously.
"Come now people, I don't bite!" said Yugi with a slight smile.
"I won't say no to being bitten, however..."
Heimdall shuffled a deck of cards. "The bridge is mine, so it's the rule, that I will start. It's time to duel!"
He pulled the switch and the station came to life. The numbers 2,000 appeared below each of them; they each shuffled and drew five cards.
Why do they only shuffle the cards they draw? That seems inefficient.
Heimdall looked at his cards and selected one. "I start this duel with weapons drawn; I play a knight - it is no pawn. I lay this card upon its back - the Beaver Warrior, in Attack!"
He placed the card down and the Beaver Warrior appeared, holding his sword menacingly. (1,200/1,500)
"And from my hand, this card I rid; I lay it down, its face is hid."
These rhyming lines grow lamer still; with every line I lose more will.
"Uh, yeah," said Mary. This guy is weird, she said, looking at her cards. She noticed the Baby Dragon among her cards - it was the strongest monster there.
I don't have Time Wizard in my hand yet, but I might as well play him… and use my Bear Trap to protect him.
Hey, at least it would actually work against this monster.
"I'll place a card face down too," she said. "And I play the Baby Dragon in Attack Mode." She placed the card down. The cute dragon appeared. (1,200/700)
"It's your move," she said.
So Heimdall began to twirl in place.
"For my move, I know what to do," he said. "I have one creature; I'll make two. I place the Dragon Statue right, he's in Attack, he's poised to fight!"
He placed the card down, and a statue of a dragon-like winged warrior brandishing a sword appeared next to the Beaver Warrior. The numbers (1,100/900)
"I place the Dragon Statue right"? That... That's not even proper English. What the hell?
"That will now conclude my move; time for you your worth to prove."
This rhyming is getting to me, thought Mary. She made a draw.
You and me both, babe.
Still no Time Wizard, she thought, looking at them. But so long as I've got this combo, I might as well give it a whirl.
"I play the Monster Egg, in Attack Mode," she said, laying down the card. A large egg with feet and golden eyes peering through a crack in the shell appeared. (600/900)
Monster Egg doesn't have feet. It's just an egg with eyes in its opening.
"Now, tell me what this does again?" asked Clive.
"You'll see in a second," said Yugi.
"And now I use this Equip," said Mary. "Insect Imitation!"
As mentioned previously, this combo doesn't work. Insect Imitation isn't an Equip, and it doesn't have anything like this effect. Maybe Brian found out that its Japanese name is "Hatching" and thought he could get away with it?
She slapped the card down, and the egg burst. In its place stood a humanoid bull wielding a menacing trident! The numbers for the Monster Egg changed to 1,800 over 1,300.
"The Battle Steer," said Yugi. "Quite a powerful Beast-Warrior there."
Pity about its lack of manbits.
Yes, powerful, thought Mary. But he does have that facedown card. I'd better be cautious for now. He can't defeat the Battle Steer as he is. And my trap is still set.
"That will end my move," said Mary.
New rule: whenever someone thinks to themselves "They can't defeat my X" or "My trap will stop them", it's not going to work.
"We seem to be forming quite a force," said Heimdall. "But one of us must move of course. You thought you'd catch me in a nap, but I won't fall for any trap." He raised a card. "I'll take the power I can muster, and use the Harpie's Feather Duster!"
If his rhymes make no improvements soon, I'll banish this clown to the Moon.
The Bear Trap is trashed:
"Now for my Statue's pure salvation," he said, "I use this card: Invigoration!" He placed the Equip down, and a yellow glow enveloped the Dragon Statue. Its stats went up to 1,500 over 700.
Holy crap. He actually got its effect right!
"Now Dragon Statue, strong and firm, raise your sword, destroy that wyrm!" The Statue obeyed and swung its sword at Baby Dragon, slicing him in half! Mary's Life Points fell to 1,700.
"Hang in there Mary!" yelled Peter. "Don't let that kook psyche you out!"
"It's the third turn, Peter! Do I LOOK that wimpy to you?!?"
Heimdall chose another card. "To end my move, to end my spree, I'll make my troops an even three. In Attack, I play from my scant hand, the Swordsman From A Foreign Land."
He placed the card down, and a blue-robed warrior with a conical hat and a katana appeared. (250/250)
Samurai Jack was not thrilled when his laundry got mixed in with Waluigi's.
Hmm! Thought Yugi. I could warn Mary about that Monster… but she'd forfeit the duel if I made such an obvious attempt to cheat. I can only hope that she doesn't take the bait.
Cheating is only acceptable when you use supernatural powers to do it.
Mary was thinking. That guy is weaker than a Kuriboh, she thought. Why would he play such a weak Monster? He must want me too… wait a minute! Yugi told me something once about that Warrior…
God forbid she know anything about it herself.
She drew from her deck. Yes! she thought. This is just the card I need!
"I use Brain Control," she said, "and I seize control of your Dragon Statue!" She slapped the Magic Card down, and a brain with fiendish hands appeared! They stretched out and seized the Warrior, whose eyes glazed over.
How they glazed over, being stone, we don't know.
"Now, Dragon Statue," said Mary, "skewer that Swordsman!"
The Dragon Statue raised his sword, and impaled the Swordsman From A Foreign Land! The victim fell over in a bloody puddle and vanished. But then something else happened. The Dragon Statue dropped his sword, clutched his chest, and then crumbled to bits!
How can a statue have a heart attack?
...Hold on. Earlier, Dragon Statue was referred to as "it". Here, it's "he". Brian just recycled earlier description for this scene, making it downright hilarious.
"What happened?" said Clive.
"You see," said Yugi, "the Swordsman From A Foreign Land is both Monster and Trap. When it is destroyed, the Monster who destroyed it is also destroyed. Our rhyming friend thought to fool Mary into attacking it. But Mary turned the tables on him with a brilliant strategy: she used Brain Control to make one of Heimdall's other Monsters destroy it. Now Heimdall not only loses life points from the Swordsman's destruction, but from the Dragon Statue's destruction, since it was HIS Monster."
It takes Swordsman From A Foreign Land five turns to kill a monster via its effect, making it one of the least useful monsters in the game effect-wise. Not a particularly brilliant strategy unless you're Brian "Who Gives a Shit, I'm Writing This Story" Corvello.
He was right. Heimdall's Life Points took a nosedive, all the way down to 400!
I'm getting the hang of this, thought Mary. I could probably finish him by attacking that Beaver Warrior, but he still has that facedown card…
Stop. Guess what's going to happen next. You have thirty seconds...
"That will conclude my move," she said.
All this time Heimdall was very upset. He finally spoke: "My sweetest plan has now been soured; my Life Points are all but devoured. But attack my Beaver, that you should have; then defeat me, yes you would have. I take my facedown from its shelf, and play the Gift of the Mystical Elf."
How many of you guessed "You should have attacked"? Give yourselves a point.
He played the card; the Mystical Elf appeared, and with a short song, Heimdall's Life Points were raised to 1,400.
Darn, thought Mary. I knew I should have attacked.
"Now that my wounds are mostly healed," said Heimdall, "a second plan will be revealed. So that my Beaver won't be torn; I'll add the Horn of the Unicorn!"
He placed down the Equip, and a shining horn appeared on the Beaver Warrior's forehead. His stats went up to 1,900 over 1,500.
Horn of the Unicorn is yet another in the long list of Equip Cards that raise both ATK and DEF in the real game, but only the former here.
It kills the Battle Steer:
"That brings my move unto its end," he said. "Now what have you around the bend?"
"This will put some light in your life," said Mary. "I play the Hinotama!" She placed down the Magic Card, and flames enveloped Heimdall's side. He covered his eyes.
Then he rubbed them and yawned.
"That surely was a nasty trick," he said. "It hit me like a concrete brick!" His Life Points fell to 900.
"Now I'm going to play the Battle Ox, in Attack Mode," said Mary. She lay the card down, and the red-armored Beast-Warrior appeared, brandishing his axe. (1,700/1,000)
"And to finish my move, I'll lay a card facedown," she said. "And by the way, it's a Trap Card, so don't try attacking."
Oh, for - Now Brian's ripping off the show itself. Joey did this in his duel with Bandit Keith. Mary's stealing from her dad! (Vaguely justifiable with a "Hey, it worked for my old man"...)
"Ha!" said Heimdall. "You try to catch me in a bluff, but you do not try hard enough. Beaver Warrior, hear me sing, annihilate that wretched thing!"
"Hear me sing"? If I rhyme in the next week, I think I'm going to vomit.
The Beaver Warrior charged… But then the Battle Ox leapt up! A chain with a huge blade on the end appeared in his left hand, which caught the Beaver Warrior!
"I wasn't bluffing," said Mary. "The Kunai With Chain gives my Battle Ox 500 extra points, enough to destroy practically anything caught by it!" The Battle Ox swung his axe down and cleaved the Beaver Warrior's helmet and skull! He collapsed, and Heimdall's Life Points fell to 500.
For bonus points, Kunai With Chain was the card Joey did the "This is a Trap Card" trick with in his duel, too...
"Keep going Mary, you're doing great!" yelled Peter.
"Indeed," said Yugi. "She is using strategy unlike any I have seen her use before."
Why is it that Yugi talks so much differently from his friends? Now, granted, this is the Pharaoh right now, but in this story Yugi and the Pharaoh sound about the same. His friends sound relatively human, while Yugi has that stilted "intelligent" aspect to all his lines. It sounds stupid.
Heimdall grimaced. "I place a Monster in Defense, a Beast that comes from faraway hence. A wolf with claws to cut and pierce, by name of Fensir the Fierce!"
He placed the card down, and a giant wolf appeared, with broken chains on its legs and neck, and ferocious teeth and claws. (1,900/1,300)
Translating from Nordic runes is not an exact science , but I have never seen the name of the Great Wolf written as "Fensir". "Fenris", yes. "Fenrir" sometimes. But never "Fensir". And this is clearly supposed to be Fenris, because he references its chains.
It curled up and put its head down.
"That brings my turn unto its close; now make your move; what's next? Who knows?"
More shitty rhyme?
"What indeed?" said Mary, drawing. "Hey Fensir, I want to see just how 'fierce' you are!" She picked out a card. "So I'll just use my Stop Defense Card!"
Heimdall gasped, as Fensir stood up, bared its teeth and drooled, as the Magic Card forced him into Attack Mode.
Then it licked its own testicles.
"Ooh, you are fierce," said Mary. "But who cares? Battle Ox, battle axe attack!"
The Battle Ox brought his axe down on the wolf and smashed it into bloody pieces. Heimdall's Life Points went down to 200.
If your axe is smashing people, you need it sharpened.
"Man, Mary is smokin'!" said Clive. "You getting this in pictures, Pete?"
"You bet!" said Pete.
"It'll be great for traumatizing small children!"
"That's all for my move," said Mary.
"You're very skilled, there is no doubt," said Heimdall, "but I can beat you in this bout. I place a card with pointed shards, the vile Reaper of the Cards! I place him ready to Attack; he won't be caught upon his back."
He placed down the Monster Card, and the ghostly dark-cloaked Reaper appeared with his scythe. A stench waved over the station. (1,380/1,930)
I've never associated the Reaper of the Cards with a scent. It's the Grim Reaper, not a zombie. Regardless of its type. And using "card" in that second rhyme twice is an admission of desperation.
Heimdall grimaced. "I conclude my move, which makes me frown, by playing this: its face is down." He placed a facedown card on his console.
Well, I can take out that monstrosity, thought Mary.
"Battle Ox, attack that ghoul!" she yelled. The Battle Ox swung its axe, but it was halted as three men in blue robes appeared, blocking the Beast Warrior's path.
Heimdall held up his facedown card. "You fell to my Waboku Trap - your wisdom you might need to tap."
Those are WOMEN on Waboku. It's rather obvious if you look at their faces. Years later, Hallowed Life Barrier made it even more obvious.
Mary puts the Hercules Beetle in defense.
"Well," said Heimdall, making his draw. "I play a card, its face concealed; what will it do to our small field?
"Now THIS card worked so well for YOU, I think that I will use it too! I take Hinotama from my hand, and set a flame upon your land!"
Mary covered her eyes as the fiery explosion hit. Her Life Points dropped to 1,100.
It doesn't say much for an explosion if it just makes you cover your eyes.
Heimdall continued. "And now I play a Monster Card, to make your task so very hard. I lay a card that doesn't lack, the fiendish Barrox, in Attack!"
Barox is spelled with one R.
He placed the card down, and an apelike Fiend appeared on the grid. (1,380/1530)
"That's my move, it now is done. What will you do for your next run?"
A series of appearances in the Bible Belt?
Man, thought Mary. I could destroy either one of those Monsters with my Battle Ox, but that facedown card is probably another Trap… and it might be lethal this time. And he's obviously planning something…
Wait… I know what he's planning, she thought. Obviously he's got a Ritual in his deck somewhere. That facedown might be the Ritual card… but then, it might be another Trap to protect those Monsters.
For those of you who aren't familiar with the game... don't worry about it. Rituals work a hell of a lot differently in this story than they do in the real game, and from how they do in the story itself sometimes.
I've got to stop him before he draws the right monster. She looked at her deck. The card I draw had best be a biggie…
She drew.
"Yes!" she yelled.
Then she realized she'd accidentally drawn a Yu-Gi-Oh Tips card from one of those Character Packs and started cursing.
"You play good," she said. "But you made a mistake in keeping two Fiends on the field at once. Now I can destroy them both and win this duel with one card! I play Exile of the Wicked!"
She thrust the card on her console, and a phantom robed shaman appeared. He chanted, and within ten seconds, the Reaper of the Cards and Barrox shriveled into dust!
That's a PRIEST. It's more obvious in Japan, where he's clearly holding a Bible, but where the hell did Brian get "shaman" from?
Heimdall's points fell to zero, and the word "WINNER" appeared on Mary's side.
Followed by the words "AUTHOR'S PET".
Heimdall sighed. "I must concede that I am beat; you have pulled a tremendous feat! You are well upon your way to fame; I could not have dreamed a better game!"
"Well done Mary," said Yugi. "That was your best duel yet!"
Oh, just kiss her goddamn feet already...
SCENE CHANGE:
After the station had shut down, Heimdall approached Mary.
"As I promised 'fore the duel, here's your gift, a precious Jewel." He handed the Jewel to Mary.
What she did with it was obscene.
"Thank you," she said. "Looks like we both have three now, Yugi."
"Only four more each to go," Yugi said.
Oh, goody, at least four more duels to go each...
Heimdall then lowers the drawbridge.
Before they could head for it, Heimdall spoke once more:
"Before you leave, since I am nice, I'll give you all some good advice. When you all reach the other end, find the road that needs a tend. Composed it is of bricks of red - a way station is close ahead.
"So long brave folk, I wish you best, and luck be with you on your quest. But do not rush, just take your time; you may run into one last rhyme."
One rhyme more is one rhyme too many.
And then he seemingly vanished, as if he had melded with the stone wall.
"Well!" said Mary. "That was… odd."
"Let us never speak of this again."
"Come on," said Peter. "Let's cross and get to that way station."
They started across the bridge, which was very sturdy and did not even sway. When they were about halfway across, Yugi almost tripped over something.
He then plummeted to his demise. The end. What's on FOX?
Then he stopped. "Hey guys, look at this," he said.
He pointed to what he had tripped over. It was a box, painted the same color as the floor. Two indentations were on it, the shape of three cards. Yugi tried to open the box, but it was stuck fast, and nailed to the floor.
So he ripped it out of the floor and carried it with them.
"How do we open this?" said Mary.
Yugi looked around the box. "Look," he said. "There's writing on it."
He read: "This box has gold and precious jewels; open with a Monster and two of his tools."
"But how do you jimmy a box open with just a playing card?"
"A Monster and 'two of his tools'?" said Clive. "That's odd…"
"Wait… I think I know," said Yugi. "Mary, let me see your deck."
Mary handed it too him.
If she handed it "too" him, what else did she give him?
"Let me see," said Yugi, searching through it. "Here we are. I put the Baby Dragon down in the middle - that's the Monster…"
"Careful, Yugi," said Mary, "don't let it blow away!"
No description of him, say, trying to cover it with his torso or anything. That would be considerate, and that would out of character for him.
"I'm being careful," he said. He searched through the deck again. "Then I put the Dragon Treasure Card here…" he placed the Card in the left square. "And… the Gust Fan on the right…" He placed the other Card down.
Sure enough, the lock clicked open. Yugi gathered the three cards and handed Mary back her deck.
"How'd you know?" said Mary.
"I figured that 'tools' had to mean things that a Monster could use with - in other words, Equip cards," said Yugi. "So, I placed the Baby Dragon, a Dragon/Wind Monster, and then two Equips that can be Equipped to it."
Well, a decent enough riddle for a YGO fic. Brian gets a little better with these as time goes on, but the circumstances under which they appear get more and more convoluted.
"Well, lets see what's in here," she said.
Inside the box, it was half-full of Star Coins - and also four cards. Two of them were the same - two Mirror Force Trap Cards. The other two were the Machine Conversion Factory Equip, and a strange card called Garma Sword Oath.
"Well!" said Mary. "I've always wanted a Mirror Force… I guess we each get one.
Assuming Yugi inherited most of the cards in his deck from his father, he should already have a Mirror Force - Yugi Senior did.
You can take the Machine Conversion Factory - I don't have any good Machines except the Guardian of the Throne Room. But what is this thing?
"It's a Ritual Card," said Yugi. "A powerful one. If you pull it off, you'll summon a ferocious Warrior named Garma Sword, who can destroy any Spellcaster with ease." He skimmed through his deck. "But to do it, you'll need this guy." He handed her the Swordstalker.
Two errors for the price of one (plus a grammar error - Mary's dialogue is missing the last quotation mark). Garma Sword doesn't have a "magic bullet" effect against Spellcasters, and the key monster to summon it by Duelist Kingdom Ritual rules is Succubus Knight, not Swordstalker.
"You sure you don't need it?" said Mary.
"I have lots of powerful cards," said Yugi. "Sacrifice Swordstalker and two other Warriors when using this Ritual Card, and you'll summon Garma Sword."
"At which point your opponent will probably hit it with a Widespread Ruin, but them's the breaks."
In the meantime, Peter and Clive were loading up the coins. "Well, we've got everything," said Clive. "If we hurry, we can get to that way station in time for a late lunch."
After crossing the bridge, it didn't take them long to find the worn road made of red bricks that Heimdall had mentioned. They started following it for a while, and eventually came to a sign:
"3,576 MILES TO WALL DRUG"
"FEELING TIRED?
SORE AND HOT?
REST YOUR FEET
AT JACKIE'S SPOT!
ONE MILE AHEAD"
"Sounds inviting," said Clive. "Let's go!"
About as inviting as a Burma-Shave ad.
After walking for about a half hour more, the four friends smelled the delightful odor of food cooking! They started to run, and a wonderful sight caught their eyes: Situated in a large clearing was a restaurant, shaped like a sixties style diner. Smells of burgers, chicken, and ribs wafted through the air. A large sign bearing the name "Jackie's" dominated the front.
Sounds like one of those kitschy chain joints.
And that's where we cut off. Not the most exciting of chapter closers, is it?
Oh, the created-card section. Turns out that somehow, Brian has managed to repeatedly get hisown created monster's name wrong - it's listed as "Fenris the Fierce" in the created-card roundup.