(Untitled)

[manayatma]

It feels weird to know both of your (female) best friends from high school just kind of stopped caring about you or about seeing you one day. Well I tried pretty hard to talk to both and see both, but I don't know I guess there is something wrong with me. I feel like Rowan is the only one who I can count on to be here and he doesn't really have any

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my new livejournal

[ourbodiesremain]

Whatevers between us I dont know.

I did call you and Kyle that Friday night and no one answered back...then I got two calls from you guys and I couldn't answer them because I was dealing with cops. I couldn't explain to you but now I am.

I wasn't trying to avoid you, I wanted to see you. And you told me that on Saturday that'd you'd be spending time with your family...so I didn't want to try and be selfish that day.

I do care about you, plenty. If you feel like I don't then I apologize. Im not the bestfriend but I don't do these things on purpose or intentionally. If I really wanted you to feel like I don't give a crap about you I wouldn't even bother responding to this.

Im not saying I'm right or I havent done anything wrong but dont feel like I dont care because I do care. I care a lot more than you would think. I feel strange right now.

And as far as what Tina said, I guess shes implying that I'm a worthless piece of existence, which is whatever. I know what I'm doing with my life and as far as partying goes, yeah I cut that down big time and I haven't been partying. Ive gone to parties and I hang out there but I haven't been getting drunk and shit. I don't do drugs or smoke....I'm just me. I don't see myself as a worthless piece of existence or ridiculous just because I haven't had a kid. Having a kid doesn't make you wise beyond your years. It does mature you, Ive experienced that first hand with my sister.

But of course you're going to see things much differently than I. Having a kid is HUGE DEAL. But for the moment I don't think you &I are on the same level. That doesn't mean that we couldn't have a friendship.

If you want to give our friendship another shot then I'm for it. And I promise to you that I'll try to be the best friend I could possibly be....I feel like a guy talking to his girlfriend haha but uh yeah....If you dont want this friendship anymore then alright I will understand.

And I'm deeply sorry if I've caused you any grief. I know you have a lot going on in your life and worrying about who is your and who isnt shouldn't be something you have to deal with.

I'm here for you. I love you. You're like a sister to me and I'm sorry if I seemed to have strayed from you. I hope this all works out the way it should...
I have a new livejournal...let me know if you want to be added.

Re: my new livejournal

[manayatma]

I don't know if Tina was talking about you, it definately seems that way, sadly she's talked to me (myspace) more than you since I've been gone. It's not sad that I'm talking to her, it's just sad because she was never my best friend.

I don't know, this is the first time you've tried to talk to me about anything that happened and this isn't the first time you've blown me off in the past 6 months, I can't count how many times you had something more important (than me and other old friends) to do, but we'd always try again. It's like Lora all over again but worse because you sat there with us and said you couldn't believe she'd do that. I know I didn't give Lora that many chances. I guess I'm bitching while it looks like you're trying to apologize, it really just seems like another excuse.
I definately don't hate you, I care about you very much but its kind of like "where do we go from here?"

Re: my new livejournal

[ihopeshedies]

Well ok.

But to me it seems lke you and Tina have more in common....pregnancy, childbirth, significant other troubles.....

Like I said, you and I are on a different level and for whatever Ive done wrong I apologize.

I guess I'm not the same Lisa. If you want to let go, go ahead. I wont try anymore from here on. I'm not very happy with myself so whatever.

Re: my new livejournal

[solarpowersoul]

This may or may not be the time and place to say this, but..Lisa, i have to say that i feel much like sarah does, as far as being thrown aside, as though you could care less about our existance. but actually, i really think its yourself that needs to let go. that's not meant to be accusational at all. what i'm saying is...if you really have other "best friends" now or just people you'd rather spend time with, i think that's fine, just..don't keep stringing this along, making reasons for never seeing us/being able to see us, if you don't want to be involved with us anymore..okay, i'm only speaking for myself now, i can't speak for sarah or kyle or lora or anyone else because they may feel differently.the thing is, you've distanced yourself so much now...i feel like i'm talking to a stranger. i guess all i'm saying is that, if this is the end, let it be the end, let us quit pretending we still are great friends when we've lost touch and have no idea what's going on in each others' lives. i'm not saying go jump off a cliff and die, because, as you've both previously said i still care about you and worry about you, so..you know where i am. and while i'm am not at all going to hold my breath...if you ever need an old friend. i'll be around. take care of yourself.

goodbye.

Angel