Weeks of Transition
What a week! I went from dealing with one of the WORST weeks I've had in a long time, with the students barely listening to me at all and Ms. W writing to my supervisor expressing her "worries that I will not be able to handle the discipline of her class and the transition periods" based on what she had seen so far. This led to a fairly awkward conversation with my MU supervisor, although I am blessed with a very understanding supervisor who doesn't seem at all worried about my abilities - she just pointed out that I need to make sure that I'm demonstrating to Ms. W that I'm trying to incorporate any of her suggestions into my teaching, so that she can see that I'm putting in the effort (like she can't already tell - grr!) This week, though, I instituted a "Friday Fun Star Chart" that each group gets rewarded if they are able to wait quietly and clean up from the last activity quickly to help me manage transitions, which worked REALLY well this week.
Thursday, some of the fourth graders from our school (ten from each of the classes) went on an special overnight fieldtrip. All of the fourth grade teachers went along as chaperones, and the remaining 47 students from three classes were divided into two for the time being. I was left teaching my students and some from another classroom along with the fourth grade aide as the substitute. It completely changed my perspective on teaching - last week, I think I honestly was ready to give it up, and would have if I didn't realize that I couldn't make that decision when I was such an emotional wreck from the mess of the students' behavior that week. However, after the last two days, with most of the responsibility (along with the keys to the classroom!) left to me, and all of the details left for me to take care of, I felt so much more confident, it was astounding. I feel incredibly proud of how well the last two days went … although we didn't get everything done that they left for us (they purposely left extra - and they knew that we wouldn't get to everything), and there were a few rough patches, things went well. The students got work done, including creating their own board games for math and Mother's Day cards, and behaved rather well, considering we had all of the troublemakers from my class left with us, along with most of the ones from the other class (because the aide knew them and worked well with them, so they were sent to me instead of the other classroom). The afternoons got a little long, with no specials and the students antsy because of indoor recess both days, and then the confusion over what was going on when the fieldtrip students returned, but overall the students listened rather well to me as well as to the aide. The mess of how the fieldtrip students' return was handled, and the teachers being allowed to leave without even bothering to inform us, was a bit of a disaster, but even that I felt I handled well.
Monday is the start of my "Senior Week" at MU - the week after exams with special events just for the seniors, culminating with graduation - which I still refuse to believe. I can't POSSIBLY be graduating next weekend! I simply refuse to believe it. Plus, it's the first week where I officially take over all of the teaching and related duties in my classroom - although I am so much less worried about that after yesterday and today than I was earlier! Not only did these two days go well, but I got the chance to talk with the aide, and she seems to think that I had what it takes, as well - she encouraged me, saying that from what she's seen I'm ready for my own classroom. She also agreed with me that, at least to some degree, the "classroom management problem" that I'm having with these students is due to Ms. W's management of the classroom. As much as I love working with Ms. W overall, I can't come in and correct things that the students have been allowed to do all year! I'm not there long enough, and I'm only teaching two full weeks, I think - the rest of the time we're more or less team-teaching. I think part of the reason I don't have as much control as I'd like is that I'm nervous knowing that Ms. W is always watching what I'm doing, so I'm hesitant to try anything new and override her established rules, and that I didn't establish the rules of this classroom in the same way as I will be able to in my own classroom. So in my more sane periods, I'm able to convince myself logically that I don't need to be completely worried about discipline, that it'll be different for me next year.
Also, in random rants, what is it with this year's TV series finales?!? Whether or not the series is coming back next season seems to make little difference … I can't seem to bring myself to sit down and watch any of them straight through! I watch a lot of TV and all of it seems to be getting overly emotional anymore! Recently I went from barely being able to sit through last week's Alias, to finally managing to get through One Tree Hill, to taking almost three hours to bring myself to finish watching the Veronica Mars finale, to attempting to watch Alias this week (which I still haven't gotten past the first 15 minutes of) and then switching to a depressing Everwood as a replacement! TV's getting torturous! I love all of these shows, and all of the episodes have been BRILLIANT, overall, although I have spots in all of them that I think should have been handled differently - I've enjoyed all of them, I'm just so invested in the characters that they've been driving me crazy!
Thursday, some of the fourth graders from our school (ten from each of the classes) went on an special overnight fieldtrip. All of the fourth grade teachers went along as chaperones, and the remaining 47 students from three classes were divided into two for the time being. I was left teaching my students and some from another classroom along with the fourth grade aide as the substitute. It completely changed my perspective on teaching - last week, I think I honestly was ready to give it up, and would have if I didn't realize that I couldn't make that decision when I was such an emotional wreck from the mess of the students' behavior that week. However, after the last two days, with most of the responsibility (along with the keys to the classroom!) left to me, and all of the details left for me to take care of, I felt so much more confident, it was astounding. I feel incredibly proud of how well the last two days went … although we didn't get everything done that they left for us (they purposely left extra - and they knew that we wouldn't get to everything), and there were a few rough patches, things went well. The students got work done, including creating their own board games for math and Mother's Day cards, and behaved rather well, considering we had all of the troublemakers from my class left with us, along with most of the ones from the other class (because the aide knew them and worked well with them, so they were sent to me instead of the other classroom). The afternoons got a little long, with no specials and the students antsy because of indoor recess both days, and then the confusion over what was going on when the fieldtrip students returned, but overall the students listened rather well to me as well as to the aide. The mess of how the fieldtrip students' return was handled, and the teachers being allowed to leave without even bothering to inform us, was a bit of a disaster, but even that I felt I handled well.
Monday is the start of my "Senior Week" at MU - the week after exams with special events just for the seniors, culminating with graduation - which I still refuse to believe. I can't POSSIBLY be graduating next weekend! I simply refuse to believe it. Plus, it's the first week where I officially take over all of the teaching and related duties in my classroom - although I am so much less worried about that after yesterday and today than I was earlier! Not only did these two days go well, but I got the chance to talk with the aide, and she seems to think that I had what it takes, as well - she encouraged me, saying that from what she's seen I'm ready for my own classroom. She also agreed with me that, at least to some degree, the "classroom management problem" that I'm having with these students is due to Ms. W's management of the classroom. As much as I love working with Ms. W overall, I can't come in and correct things that the students have been allowed to do all year! I'm not there long enough, and I'm only teaching two full weeks, I think - the rest of the time we're more or less team-teaching. I think part of the reason I don't have as much control as I'd like is that I'm nervous knowing that Ms. W is always watching what I'm doing, so I'm hesitant to try anything new and override her established rules, and that I didn't establish the rules of this classroom in the same way as I will be able to in my own classroom. So in my more sane periods, I'm able to convince myself logically that I don't need to be completely worried about discipline, that it'll be different for me next year.
Also, in random rants, what is it with this year's TV series finales?!? Whether or not the series is coming back next season seems to make little difference … I can't seem to bring myself to sit down and watch any of them straight through! I watch a lot of TV and all of it seems to be getting overly emotional anymore! Recently I went from barely being able to sit through last week's Alias, to finally managing to get through One Tree Hill, to taking almost three hours to bring myself to finish watching the Veronica Mars finale, to attempting to watch Alias this week (which I still haven't gotten past the first 15 minutes of) and then switching to a depressing Everwood as a replacement! TV's getting torturous! I love all of these shows, and all of the episodes have been BRILLIANT, overall, although I have spots in all of them that I think should have been handled differently - I've enjoyed all of them, I'm just so invested in the characters that they've been driving me crazy!