Hakuouki fanfiction - Hijikata/Saitou: "Poem for you", part 6
Title: Poem for you
Author: manaika
Series: Hakuouki, between Reimeiroku and Shinsengumi Kitan
Pairing: HijiSai, with a bakatrio threesome and hints of Kondo/Okita and past Tani/Sano on the sideline.
Rating: Mature
Genre: humor and romance, written for the purpose to amuse
Warnings: Sex. 4544 words of sex.
Summary: Sano, Shinpa and Heisuke decide it’s time for their vice commander to take some action in regards of a certain taciturn left-handed swordsman. Written for tokio_fujita, because she is as devoted to HijiSai as I am to ShinpaSano and because Reimeiroku is full of Saitou moe.
Disclaimer: I do not own Hakuoki and neither am I making money writing this. But it is still my work.
Set in the months between the end of Reimeroku and start of Hakuoki, I would say.
Poem for you, the plan
Poem for you, the first try
Poem for you, the second try
Poem for you, the third try
Poem for you, the twist
Poem for you, the climax
POEM FOR YOU
PART 6 - the climax
To be honest, Saitou had been shaking like a leaf at the thought of what the dinner in Hijikata-san’s quarters would encompass, though he couldn’t tell whether it was nervousity, or excitement, that made him tremble.
It turned out as a completely normal dinner however, not unlike the one Saitou had hosted Hijikata-san to and with everything truly in the open Saitou didn’t need to worry about flirting and conveying emotions and so he could fully relax and enjoy himself. And the gorgeous company. He had kept his eyes on Hijikata-san during the entire dinner and had caught the vice-commander’s look several times the evening and the hunger and fire that burned there made him shiver, remembering the sensations he had felt that afternoon, along with the initial nervousity.
But other than that, throughout the entire evening the vice-commander had been very thoughtfull of him and didn’t lead their conversation into uncharted territory, untill they both weren’t relaxed and prepared enough.
It was only after dinner, when Hijikata-san was pouring them the better sake from his stack, that their conversation started into that direction.
„I believe, that I still owe you an explanation, Saitou.“
Saitou didn’t reply, just looked at the vice-commander with a half-expectant, half-curious gaze.
„After all, yesterday I all but stormed out of your room, while today I...“
Hijikata-san trailed off, looking slightly embarassed and mildly uncomfortable, but Saitou still didn’t say anything, even though the vice-commander was right. After the excitement from the kiss had faded somewhat, questions started invading Saitou’s mind. In spite of everything that Shinpachi and Heisuke had said to him, Saitou still had doubts about how Hijikata-san running away could still mean that the vice-commander had feelings for him.
„I was confused.“ Came the answer to that question and Hijikata-san looked at him, eyes completely honest. „And scared.“
Saitou just continued sitting there and listening to everything that Hijikata-san had to say.
„Confused, because I had misunderstoood you. I thought you didn’t have interest in me and suddenly you were kissing me. And scared, because I didn’t know where it could take us. I was afraid I’d lose our friendship, if we took it there. I was a coward and a fool, Saitou, and nothing a man like you deserves.“
The vice-commander’s words echoed within Saitou, as he remembered his own unsureness and how it froze him, made him incapable of acting and thinking, even.
„But the honest truth is, that I’ve fallen in love with you, Saitou. And if there is a chance, if there is a place for a man like me in your heart, I’d be really honored and glad if you accepted me and we could be together.“
The sincerity of Hijikata-san’s feelings flowed through him and touched a depth in his heart, that Saitou until now didn’t even realize he had. It wasn’t a disrupting feeling, causing a storm of emotions, but rather a feeling of peace and calm surrender, as if through the storm, he’d just reached home.
Home.
A place where you belonged.
And in a moment of utter clarity, Saitou came to the realization, that home was Hijikata-san.
„Vice-commander...“
There was nothing Saitou could have said that would have been a worthy response to such open honesty, so he said the only thing that came close.
„Hijikata-san...“
And it was all it needed for the vice-commander to edge closer to Saitou, untill he could feel the heat of the raven-haired male’s body against his own and the bold, hot, gentle, soft lips claiming his.
A feeling fluttered in Saitou’s stomach and after a tiny moment of hesitation, his hands went to carress the handsom face, cupping it, then gently tracing the sharp jawline, before they finaly buried themselves in the raven locks. He felt a hand on his arm, which traced down to his ribs and he could feel the heat of the touch even through the thick fabric of his kimono. Another hand tugged at his scarf and he let it undo it and the white cloth fell to the ground in a silent, intimate rustle.
The clever tongue played with his, then went to explore the hot cavern of his mouth, tracing the edges of his teeth, sweeping to the back, then pulling forward again, to continue the playful dance. Their tongues circled each other and then there was a sucking motion, that pulled the breath out of Saitou’s lungs, but not enough to break the kiss. He felt his face heat up and the burning sensation was back again, devouring him whole and all he could do was clutch at the silken tresses of the vice-commander’s hair.
Suddenly the locks spilled free and fell over them at the same time he felt himself being pushed backwards, untill he was lying on his back, Hijikata-san’s leg between his thighs, pressing against the burning ache that was there. Hijikata-san broke the kiss to look at him, searching for something in his eyes and it occured to Saitou, that maybe he should tell the vice-commander about his inexpierience, that his lover should know about it. But as he parted his lips to do so and said his lover’s name, Hijikata-san’s gentle touch stoped him.
„Shh...“ the vice-commander hushed him. „I know.“ Hijikata-san replaced his fingers with his lips in a chaste kiss and it came in a whisper against Saitou’s lips: „I have never been with a man before, either.“
Their eyes met again and the searching look was back, this time accompanied by a warm, calloused hand on Saitou’s overheated face, carressing it gently.
„Do you want me? Here and now?“
An uknknown feeling exploaded in Saitou’s chest and he couldn’t but feel, that with his next answer, he would pledge himself to Hijikata-san’s side.
„Yes.“
Oh, he was nervous and he had no idea what he should do, nor what came next, he was uncertain about the next few hours even more than about the next years, but there was one thing he knew for sure, the one thing that stood above all uncertainity.
He loved Hijikata-san.
And he wanted to be his.
„Yes.“ He repeated and after a moment more of searching, the look in Hijikata-san’s eyes changed into a finding one and the vice-commander smiled.
And what a beautiful smile he had...
And it came closer and closer and then those smiling lips were on his own again, the kiss slow and sensual this time, making Saitou gasp and writhe with the urgent heat slowly burning up and spreading into his entire body. Hijikata-san’s leg rubbed against him in answer to his writhing and made his back bend and him gasp at the explosion of pure heat that washed through him. It broke their kiss, but the vice-commander didn’t hesitate to take advantage of the newly exposed skin of Saitou’s neck and those clever lips descended there, first nipping gently, almost tentatively, then biting brutaly and a moment later sucking almost apologeticaly the spot just below the rapidly pulsing point of his throat, the touch a burning sensation against his skin, before moving on. That hot tongue left a wet trail, as the lips descended lower, reaching his collar-bone, repeating the nipping, biting and sucking, untill Saitou thought he would either explode, or go insane from the sheer force of this scorching passion burning him. The tongue traced wet trails, cool against his skin, then the lips placed wet kisses on his throat, chin and jaw, before they went to the other side of his neck, repeating the entire maddening precedure, untill Saitou’s breath was coming in gasps and soft half-moans.
He felt a hand working on his sash urgently, untill it fell apart and along with it the folds of his kimono, revealing a pale chest to his lover a new territory to be charted and claimed.
And charted and claimed it was almost immediately.
Teeth nipped gently on the flushed skin as the lips traced invisible lines, following routes only they knew, untill they came to their first destination.
As the moist softness enclosed one of his nipples, a moan broke out of Saitou and as the wet tongue encircled the sensitive skin, a sneaky hand went to tease the other with nudges and pinches and seductive rubs, drivng him insane untill they were swollen, hard and even more sensitive to touch than they’d already been. Then Hijikata-san’s lips left the touch and Saito whimpered at the loss, but it quickly changed into a moan, as the vice-commander blew a breeze of hot breath against the overexcited skin. And another moan followed, when Hijikata-san’s hand wandered open palm down his chest and abdomen, carressing the navel and then finally found a way underneath what was left of his kimono, and...touched...
As two fingers carressed him through the thin cloth of his fundoshi, Saitou, reduced to moans and soft groans, vagualy asked himself how much of this he could bear and how much longer he could do it. His legs spread even without his command, his body desperate for the touch, aching and arching into it.
With three swift, expierienced movements Hijikata-san brushed the sash and the rest of Saitou’s robes away and started working on his own clothes.
After a miniscule moment of thought, Saitou decided to help him.
He sat up and helped Hijikata-san undo the sash of the hakama, which then fell to the floor with that unmistakeable sound, that sent an excited shiver down Saitou’s spine. Hijikata-san stoped his ministartions and their eyes met once again, Summer and Winter finally melting together. Saitou brushed the loosened kimono, along with the juban over the broad shoulders and yet another intimate whisper of cloth sliding to the floor, echoed in his ears. His blood was pounding and his heart raced as they undressed each other in slow motion, relishing in the intimacy of their actions, untill all that was left on them, were their loincloths.
Never breaking the eye contact, Hijikata-san’s hand then slowly covered Saitou’s cloth and forced a helpless moan out of the taciturn swordsman’s mouth, the same moment that Hijikata’s lips covered his in an urgent kiss. The vice-commander rubbed Saitou through the fundoshi, untill the young male thought the thin fabric will soon burst apart, while devouring him, kissing him like there was no tomorrow, kissing him untill Saitou felt like his soul would soon leave him and settle into Hijikata-san, if this continued. Then those seering hot lips moved away from his mouth and showered his face, jaw, chin and throat with equaly hot and seering kisses, before they moved lower, lower and lower and then replaced the clever hand and for a moment, Saitou thought he was dieing. Shudders chased down his spine and his legs fell appart, granting better access, his hips darting forward, for more friction.
The wet tongue that carressed him there, left a moist place on the cloth, that felt against his heated, swollen, sensitive skin like ice on a hot summer day, hot and cold, all at once.
The tongue traced a wet trail upward and dipped into his navel, while the teeth bit the skin around it gently and hot hands carressed his hips, almost as if soothing him, while he trembled with pleasure. The hands roamed his body, leaving a trail of burning sensations on his skin, before they tugged at the straps of the soft cloth untill they fell apart and revealed what was hidden beneath.
Cold air hit the overheated skin and another shiver ran down Saitou’s body. And then, that hand finally touched him there for real, no cloth, no barriers between them, skin on skin. Saitou’s head fell backwards and his back bent and he felt the other hand grasp his hip, steadying him.
The first hand gave one slow, tentative stroke, exploring the unknown territory first, before claiming it, using different strategies and techniques of conquest, reducing the conquestee to helpless gasps, stripping him down from every remaining defense he had. The lips kissed themselves upwards, first to the chest, then the exposed neck and finally the tongue darted out into Saitou’s mouth, playing, tasting and devouring all over again.
His member was slick in Hijikata-san’s hand and every stroke forced harsh pants from between Saitou’s lips. The strokes were alternating between fast and rash, and slow and sensual, dragging the skin back, then forward, the thumb carressing the head, the base and the vein in circular motions, untill the member was dark and swollen, standing out against the pale skin of his stomach.
One moan followed another as heat pulsed through Saitou with every carress those clever fingers made and he spread his legs further, giving his lover even more playground. And just as Saitou thought, that he couldn’t bear a single stroke more, that merciless hand suddenly left and Hijikata-san pulled away.
A disappointed sound left Saitou, but as he opened his eyes only to see Hijikata-san’s fundoshi fluttering to the ground soundlessly, the disappointment changed into excited anticipation.
And then the vice-commander, naked as the day he was born, was between his legs and looking at him with those dark eyes, now even darker with passion, dark and dangerous as a summer storm and Saitou was gently guided to lie down again, lovered onto the pile of their clothes and pressed against that strong body, burning hardness against burning hardness.
Then he was being kissed again, this time gentle, but firm, calming and sure, like the promise of a lover.
Hijikata-san’s hands were roaming over his body again, massaging Saitou’s hips, chest, arms, shoulders, chest and hips again, then moving to his backside, thights, inside and out, up and down, guiding him to spread his legs wide open, and Saitou’s pulse was flying, as he realized what came next.
One of the hands left Saitou’s body just for the few moments it took to withdraw a small bottle of ointment from the folds of purple cloth and vagualy Saitou thought how good it was that Hijikata-san had brought his own bottle, since it spared Saitou the embarassment of searching between the folds of his own clothes for the one that Sano had given him, new and chrysantheum scented and that Saitou had brought with himself, as a precaution.
Saitou watched how those elegant, long fingers first opened the small jar, then dipped in and coated themselves with the thick liquid, before pulling out.
Hijikata-san looked at him with a look reminiscent of the searching one, before saying.
„If you turn around, it should hurt less.“
It was more a question than a demand, like a proposition Hijikata-san wasn’t sure he should be making and Saitou, feeling humbled, looked into those beautiful purple eyes, dark with pleasure.
And shook his head.
„No, Hijikata-san, please. I...“
Before he could finish, gentle lips silenced him.
„I know.“ Hijikata-san said, their eyes meeting again, relishing at the sight. „I feel the same.“
No other word was said and Hijikata-san leaned down to kiss him again and with a pang of nervous feeling mixed with excitement, Saitou felt one of those long fingers press against his entrance. Just as the finger slipped in, Saitou breathed in sharply and those velvet lips kissed his face reassuringly. It didn’t hurt as much as it felt unusual and new, but not all that unpleasent. As Saitou relaxed his body, another of those long fingers slippped in and started spreading him. It was now mildly uncomforttable, but then the vice-commander twisted and curved his fingers and for a moment Saitou thought he would tear apart from pleasure. He was vagualy aware, that the sound that his throat had just made, had been too loud to be proper and the look in his eyes had to be too wanton to be dignified, but the feeling he had just expierienced made him absolutely ignorant about it.
It had been like an explosion of lust and pleasure, making him ache and wanton for more.
He felt Hijikata-san’s lips smirk against his skin and another finger slide in and then repeat the move.
This time Saitou was prepared, but it still was an overwhelming sensation that almost swept him away. Pleasure was rippling through his entire body, control over it lost, as it was shamelessly leaning into the touch, desperate for more friction.
But it wasn’t enough.
His member was aching and his insides were burning and all he wanted was more of that heat, more friction, more of this wonderfull feeling of completition.
Saitou wanted to be filled to the core, feel everything that was Hijikata-san.
The fingers moved away and Saitou made another undignified sound that was almost a sob, but then lips were on his again in a promising touch, as the slick hand lifted his knee over the broad shoulder and then, oh then, something seering hot and rock hard was pressing against him.
„Hijikata-san...“ he moaned the name of his lover, but the vice-commander corrected him in a raspy voice.
„Toushizou...It’s Toushizou...“
This time it was really a sob that passed Saitou’s lips and he looked up at his lover, took in the aroused heat in that handsom face, the dark mess that was once smooth raven hair, now a disarray, and the look of pure lust and want in purple eyes, now almost black with pleasure.
„Toushizou-san...“
He said, his voice trembling with strain and emotion and then the hot hardness was pushing into him, stretching him, opening him, claiming him, filling him to the core and all Saitou could do was sob and groan at the pure bliss of feeling complete and whole.
Purple eyes found him again and held him captive with their sheer force.
Hijikata...Toushizou-san didn’t stop advancing further into the silken heat untill he was buried to the hilt, deep inside of Saitou.
It was a carefull, but sure press, not wanting to either hurt him, or scare him away, but making him enjoy every ripple of that exquisite pleasure running through him.
And then he was loosing that feeling, as Toushizou-san was pulling out and Saitou was sobbing again and even the calming kisses on his shoulder couldn’t help it, but then he was being filled again, slowly, torturingly and oh-so sensually, that it tore a groan from his throat and his eyes rolled back into his head.
Toushizou-san continued the slow, torturous pace and it drove Saitou insane with that maddening ache that burned between his legs.
The pleasure was building up, but it was nowhere near enough and Saitou groaned with desperate need.
„Toushizou-san...“ he cried out and a moan was his answer, but the pace didn’t change. And Saitou in his despair, did something he never thought he’d do. „Toushizou-san, please...please...“ he begged and from above him a groan came. When he looked up, a sight so rare and precious greeted him, that it almost drove him over the edge. Toushizou-san’s features were twisted with pleasure, the purple eyes were black and glazed, the pupils were wide and dilated, the velvety lips parted, the sharp teeth clenched with exertion.
And all of that for Saitou.
And then, suddenly the strong hips jerked forward, the slow press becoming a sharp thrust and Saitou was screaming.
Then it ebbed away as Toushizou-san pulled back slowly and Saitou’s heart leaped into his throat as he felt the muscles tense again, preparing for another thrust. And then another. And another. And another, another, each of which tore desperate sounds from him, as desperate as the burning feeling, that Saitou thought couldn’t get any hotter, but it did and he wondered how longer he could bear it.
„Toushizou-san...please, please, please...“
Toushizou-san groaned and the sharp teeth bit his shoulder, but finally, finally at last those strong hips started thrusting in earnest, as the demon vice of the Shinsengumi stoped containing himself, hitting that spot in Saitou over and over again, demanding instead of asking, and taking almost brutally, but also giving Saitou a very precious gift...
With every thrust a burst of color exploaded behind Saitou’s eyes and he felt the climax approaching fast. He was gasping and moaning Toushizou-san’s name and he could feel his lover also edging close to the peak, the hot member within Saitou twitching with the approaching release.
The thrusts became faster and Toushizou-san was gasping into his ear, hot, aroused breath burning Saitou’s skin.
And then, that voice strained with pleasure, rough and raspy, was saying the one word, that sent him tumbling over the edge, the waves of release crashing over him like a tsunami, sweeping him away.
„Hajime...Hajime!“
As the tidal wave of release crashed over him with all of it’s force, Saitou’s back bent in a way, that wasn’t even physicaly possible and he was making sounds, he didn’t even know he was capable of making, but all of that didn’t matter, it wasn’t important, as the entire heat exploaded in Saitou in a giant burst of color and sensation and he was coming and coming, releasing again and again, his seed spluttering all over them, the space around them and the clothes beneath them and he felt hot, hot, burning heat filling him, as Toushizou-san was thrusting into him with an inhumanpace, riding their release out, driving it out of them with the force of a true demon.
And then it was over, as the pleasure slowly ebbed away and his senses started to return to Saitou and their surroundings came back, and Toushizou-san wasn’t just a feeling of heat, but a physical presence beside him, around him, arms and legs and hair and lips.
They collapsed onto the ground, gasping for air.
Toushizou-san then gently, carefully pulled out of Saitou, but never let go of him.
Their eyes met.
Toushizou-san’s pupils were still wide, but the purple color started to return into the irises, their look gentle and devoted, like a lover’s.
They smiled at each other and a sweaty, calloused hand carressed Saitou’s still flushed cheek.
„Hajime...Saitou Hajime...“
Saitou’s heart fluttered at the sound of his name said so gently and lovingly and not capable of speaking, finding no words for a response worthy of such a gesture, he simply leaned into the touch and allowed a small glister of wetness reach his eyes.
„Toushizou-san...“ he said finally, voice trembling with emotion and the strain of the last moments and Toushizou-san smiled at him, and leaned in to carress Saitou’s eyes with his lips, kissing the wetness away.
For a few moments they just lay there like that, enjoying the warm embrace, rubbing their faces together, catching a few last feels of each other’s skin, before the last remains of pleasure faded.
It was Toushizou-san who spoke first.
„We need to clean up.“
Saitou nodded tiredly and already made a move to sit up, but Toushizou-san’s hand on his arm stoped him.
„Wait here.“
With those words and a smile Toushizou-san stood up and went further back into his quarters. Saitou heard the sounds of rustling and rumaging, and after a while his lover returned, carrying a soft-looking cloth in his hand.
Then Toushizou-san sat down next to Saitou again and gently begun cleaning his body, making Saitou’s cheeks heat up.
„But vice-commander-“ Saitou protested, embarassed about his superior officer cleaning him, that he even momentarily forgott, that just a few moments ago he had been calling the vice-commander by the man’s first name.
The vice-commander reminded him of this fact rather resolutely.
„Hush!“ The raven-haired male commanded, then added in a slightly gentler, but not less resolute voice. „Let me do this.“ Then he looked directly into Saitou’s eyes. „And from now on it’s Toushizou-san. At least in private.“
Saitou hesitated, before finally nodding.
„Toushizou-san.“ He said affirmatively and was startled to find a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
Finally Toushizou-san was finished with cleaning and gentle purple eyes settled on Saitou’s face again.
„Will you stay the night?“
Saitou hesitated as slowly the clouds of joy, that surrounded the present moment, gave space to a more darker and uncertain tomorrow.
„Do you want me to?“
They loved each other.
They had sex together.
But what did that mean for the future?
Could they stay together?
„Yes.“ Was Toushizou-san’s reply and Saitou nodded.
„Then I’ll stay...“
He didn’t realize he had looked away untill a gentle hand came to rest on his cheek.
„What’s the matter, Saitou?“ Toushizou-san asked and Saitou warred with himself.
„Hajime?“
And Saitou admitted defeat and decided to confide in his lover.
„I’m just wondering what tomorrow will bring. Or the next week. Or the next month, the next year.“ Toushizou-san watched him, gently carressing his cheek, while he silently listened to Saitou. „It was only yesterday you wanted to design a rule against nanshoku and today you’re kissing me and loving me. Me, a man.“ Saitou’s hand reached up and stroked the messy, dark locks absentmindedly. „I...I feel confused.“
A warm hand took his and pulled it to equally warm lips, which blew a feather-light, reassuring kiss over the calloused skin, before Toushizou-san answered him.
„I was blind, Saitou, that’s all. Blind to your feelings and blind to my own ignorance. I don’t know what tomorrow, or the next week, or the following months will bring us, but I know I love you and that I want to be with you, no matter what. The only thing that really matters to me, the one thing more important than my responsibilities, is you...Hajime. I want you to be happy.“ A thumb stroked Saitou’s palm and he quietly listened. „As for the rule...“ A small snort sounded from Toushizou-san at that, „I thought about it and I decided not to drop it. I have noticed, that many times, attraction to the same male is used as an excuse between two men, who just want a fight. It can bring a lot of problems. But seeing as it would upset many of our members, I don’t want to be too strict about this rule. Exceptions will be granted to those I trust to be reasonable.“
„Isn’t that a little unfair?“
„Maybe. But I think it’d be more unfair if I banned nanshoku completely to those that have happy and fulfilled relationships and had them, for a long time, just because someone can’t keep his sword sheathed. I think that at least Shinpachi would voice his disagreement rather loudly.“
Saitou conceded the point with a chuckle.
„You might be right.“
Toushizou-san smiled.
„I am.“ He said absolutely. „Now, let’s go to bed. As much as I don’t want to move, we can’t sleep on the floor.“
Saitou nodded and stood up, with Toushizou-san’s help.
Then Toushizou-san rolled out one of the spare tatamis and several moments later no more thoughts and uncertainities invaded Saitou’s mind, as he felt himself being claimed by sleep, safe in the embrace of his lover. In the last moments of consciousness, just before he slipped away, he heard a low mumble as a deep voice carried through the fog of his mind a few loving words, reciting...
„Like Summer and Winter, like fire and ice, your embrace feels.
Let the Sun rest, may the Night fall and your arms keep me near.“
ox*xo-*-*-*-ox*xo
Part 5 (the twist) / OMAKE (the aftermath)
Author: manaika
Series: Hakuouki, between Reimeiroku and Shinsengumi Kitan
Pairing: HijiSai, with a bakatrio threesome and hints of Kondo/Okita and past Tani/Sano on the sideline.
Rating: Mature
Genre: humor and romance, written for the purpose to amuse
Warnings: Sex. 4544 words of sex.
Summary: Sano, Shinpa and Heisuke decide it’s time for their vice commander to take some action in regards of a certain taciturn left-handed swordsman. Written for tokio_fujita, because she is as devoted to HijiSai as I am to ShinpaSano and because Reimeiroku is full of Saitou moe.
Disclaimer: I do not own Hakuoki and neither am I making money writing this. But it is still my work.
Set in the months between the end of Reimeroku and start of Hakuoki, I would say.
Poem for you, the plan
Poem for you, the first try
Poem for you, the second try
Poem for you, the third try
Poem for you, the twist
Poem for you, the climax
POEM FOR YOU
PART 6 - the climax
To be honest, Saitou had been shaking like a leaf at the thought of what the dinner in Hijikata-san’s quarters would encompass, though he couldn’t tell whether it was nervousity, or excitement, that made him tremble.
It turned out as a completely normal dinner however, not unlike the one Saitou had hosted Hijikata-san to and with everything truly in the open Saitou didn’t need to worry about flirting and conveying emotions and so he could fully relax and enjoy himself. And the gorgeous company. He had kept his eyes on Hijikata-san during the entire dinner and had caught the vice-commander’s look several times the evening and the hunger and fire that burned there made him shiver, remembering the sensations he had felt that afternoon, along with the initial nervousity.
But other than that, throughout the entire evening the vice-commander had been very thoughtfull of him and didn’t lead their conversation into uncharted territory, untill they both weren’t relaxed and prepared enough.
It was only after dinner, when Hijikata-san was pouring them the better sake from his stack, that their conversation started into that direction.
„I believe, that I still owe you an explanation, Saitou.“
Saitou didn’t reply, just looked at the vice-commander with a half-expectant, half-curious gaze.
„After all, yesterday I all but stormed out of your room, while today I...“
Hijikata-san trailed off, looking slightly embarassed and mildly uncomfortable, but Saitou still didn’t say anything, even though the vice-commander was right. After the excitement from the kiss had faded somewhat, questions started invading Saitou’s mind. In spite of everything that Shinpachi and Heisuke had said to him, Saitou still had doubts about how Hijikata-san running away could still mean that the vice-commander had feelings for him.
„I was confused.“ Came the answer to that question and Hijikata-san looked at him, eyes completely honest. „And scared.“
Saitou just continued sitting there and listening to everything that Hijikata-san had to say.
„Confused, because I had misunderstoood you. I thought you didn’t have interest in me and suddenly you were kissing me. And scared, because I didn’t know where it could take us. I was afraid I’d lose our friendship, if we took it there. I was a coward and a fool, Saitou, and nothing a man like you deserves.“
The vice-commander’s words echoed within Saitou, as he remembered his own unsureness and how it froze him, made him incapable of acting and thinking, even.
„But the honest truth is, that I’ve fallen in love with you, Saitou. And if there is a chance, if there is a place for a man like me in your heart, I’d be really honored and glad if you accepted me and we could be together.“
The sincerity of Hijikata-san’s feelings flowed through him and touched a depth in his heart, that Saitou until now didn’t even realize he had. It wasn’t a disrupting feeling, causing a storm of emotions, but rather a feeling of peace and calm surrender, as if through the storm, he’d just reached home.
Home.
A place where you belonged.
And in a moment of utter clarity, Saitou came to the realization, that home was Hijikata-san.
„Vice-commander...“
There was nothing Saitou could have said that would have been a worthy response to such open honesty, so he said the only thing that came close.
„Hijikata-san...“
And it was all it needed for the vice-commander to edge closer to Saitou, untill he could feel the heat of the raven-haired male’s body against his own and the bold, hot, gentle, soft lips claiming his.
A feeling fluttered in Saitou’s stomach and after a tiny moment of hesitation, his hands went to carress the handsom face, cupping it, then gently tracing the sharp jawline, before they finaly buried themselves in the raven locks. He felt a hand on his arm, which traced down to his ribs and he could feel the heat of the touch even through the thick fabric of his kimono. Another hand tugged at his scarf and he let it undo it and the white cloth fell to the ground in a silent, intimate rustle.
The clever tongue played with his, then went to explore the hot cavern of his mouth, tracing the edges of his teeth, sweeping to the back, then pulling forward again, to continue the playful dance. Their tongues circled each other and then there was a sucking motion, that pulled the breath out of Saitou’s lungs, but not enough to break the kiss. He felt his face heat up and the burning sensation was back again, devouring him whole and all he could do was clutch at the silken tresses of the vice-commander’s hair.
Suddenly the locks spilled free and fell over them at the same time he felt himself being pushed backwards, untill he was lying on his back, Hijikata-san’s leg between his thighs, pressing against the burning ache that was there. Hijikata-san broke the kiss to look at him, searching for something in his eyes and it occured to Saitou, that maybe he should tell the vice-commander about his inexpierience, that his lover should know about it. But as he parted his lips to do so and said his lover’s name, Hijikata-san’s gentle touch stoped him.
„Shh...“ the vice-commander hushed him. „I know.“ Hijikata-san replaced his fingers with his lips in a chaste kiss and it came in a whisper against Saitou’s lips: „I have never been with a man before, either.“
Their eyes met again and the searching look was back, this time accompanied by a warm, calloused hand on Saitou’s overheated face, carressing it gently.
„Do you want me? Here and now?“
An uknknown feeling exploaded in Saitou’s chest and he couldn’t but feel, that with his next answer, he would pledge himself to Hijikata-san’s side.
„Yes.“
Oh, he was nervous and he had no idea what he should do, nor what came next, he was uncertain about the next few hours even more than about the next years, but there was one thing he knew for sure, the one thing that stood above all uncertainity.
He loved Hijikata-san.
And he wanted to be his.
„Yes.“ He repeated and after a moment more of searching, the look in Hijikata-san’s eyes changed into a finding one and the vice-commander smiled.
And what a beautiful smile he had...
And it came closer and closer and then those smiling lips were on his own again, the kiss slow and sensual this time, making Saitou gasp and writhe with the urgent heat slowly burning up and spreading into his entire body. Hijikata-san’s leg rubbed against him in answer to his writhing and made his back bend and him gasp at the explosion of pure heat that washed through him. It broke their kiss, but the vice-commander didn’t hesitate to take advantage of the newly exposed skin of Saitou’s neck and those clever lips descended there, first nipping gently, almost tentatively, then biting brutaly and a moment later sucking almost apologeticaly the spot just below the rapidly pulsing point of his throat, the touch a burning sensation against his skin, before moving on. That hot tongue left a wet trail, as the lips descended lower, reaching his collar-bone, repeating the nipping, biting and sucking, untill Saitou thought he would either explode, or go insane from the sheer force of this scorching passion burning him. The tongue traced wet trails, cool against his skin, then the lips placed wet kisses on his throat, chin and jaw, before they went to the other side of his neck, repeating the entire maddening precedure, untill Saitou’s breath was coming in gasps and soft half-moans.
He felt a hand working on his sash urgently, untill it fell apart and along with it the folds of his kimono, revealing a pale chest to his lover a new territory to be charted and claimed.
And charted and claimed it was almost immediately.
Teeth nipped gently on the flushed skin as the lips traced invisible lines, following routes only they knew, untill they came to their first destination.
As the moist softness enclosed one of his nipples, a moan broke out of Saitou and as the wet tongue encircled the sensitive skin, a sneaky hand went to tease the other with nudges and pinches and seductive rubs, drivng him insane untill they were swollen, hard and even more sensitive to touch than they’d already been. Then Hijikata-san’s lips left the touch and Saito whimpered at the loss, but it quickly changed into a moan, as the vice-commander blew a breeze of hot breath against the overexcited skin. And another moan followed, when Hijikata-san’s hand wandered open palm down his chest and abdomen, carressing the navel and then finally found a way underneath what was left of his kimono, and...touched...
As two fingers carressed him through the thin cloth of his fundoshi, Saitou, reduced to moans and soft groans, vagualy asked himself how much of this he could bear and how much longer he could do it. His legs spread even without his command, his body desperate for the touch, aching and arching into it.
With three swift, expierienced movements Hijikata-san brushed the sash and the rest of Saitou’s robes away and started working on his own clothes.
After a miniscule moment of thought, Saitou decided to help him.
He sat up and helped Hijikata-san undo the sash of the hakama, which then fell to the floor with that unmistakeable sound, that sent an excited shiver down Saitou’s spine. Hijikata-san stoped his ministartions and their eyes met once again, Summer and Winter finally melting together. Saitou brushed the loosened kimono, along with the juban over the broad shoulders and yet another intimate whisper of cloth sliding to the floor, echoed in his ears. His blood was pounding and his heart raced as they undressed each other in slow motion, relishing in the intimacy of their actions, untill all that was left on them, were their loincloths.
Never breaking the eye contact, Hijikata-san’s hand then slowly covered Saitou’s cloth and forced a helpless moan out of the taciturn swordsman’s mouth, the same moment that Hijikata’s lips covered his in an urgent kiss. The vice-commander rubbed Saitou through the fundoshi, untill the young male thought the thin fabric will soon burst apart, while devouring him, kissing him like there was no tomorrow, kissing him untill Saitou felt like his soul would soon leave him and settle into Hijikata-san, if this continued. Then those seering hot lips moved away from his mouth and showered his face, jaw, chin and throat with equaly hot and seering kisses, before they moved lower, lower and lower and then replaced the clever hand and for a moment, Saitou thought he was dieing. Shudders chased down his spine and his legs fell appart, granting better access, his hips darting forward, for more friction.
The wet tongue that carressed him there, left a moist place on the cloth, that felt against his heated, swollen, sensitive skin like ice on a hot summer day, hot and cold, all at once.
The tongue traced a wet trail upward and dipped into his navel, while the teeth bit the skin around it gently and hot hands carressed his hips, almost as if soothing him, while he trembled with pleasure. The hands roamed his body, leaving a trail of burning sensations on his skin, before they tugged at the straps of the soft cloth untill they fell apart and revealed what was hidden beneath.
Cold air hit the overheated skin and another shiver ran down Saitou’s body. And then, that hand finally touched him there for real, no cloth, no barriers between them, skin on skin. Saitou’s head fell backwards and his back bent and he felt the other hand grasp his hip, steadying him.
The first hand gave one slow, tentative stroke, exploring the unknown territory first, before claiming it, using different strategies and techniques of conquest, reducing the conquestee to helpless gasps, stripping him down from every remaining defense he had. The lips kissed themselves upwards, first to the chest, then the exposed neck and finally the tongue darted out into Saitou’s mouth, playing, tasting and devouring all over again.
His member was slick in Hijikata-san’s hand and every stroke forced harsh pants from between Saitou’s lips. The strokes were alternating between fast and rash, and slow and sensual, dragging the skin back, then forward, the thumb carressing the head, the base and the vein in circular motions, untill the member was dark and swollen, standing out against the pale skin of his stomach.
One moan followed another as heat pulsed through Saitou with every carress those clever fingers made and he spread his legs further, giving his lover even more playground. And just as Saitou thought, that he couldn’t bear a single stroke more, that merciless hand suddenly left and Hijikata-san pulled away.
A disappointed sound left Saitou, but as he opened his eyes only to see Hijikata-san’s fundoshi fluttering to the ground soundlessly, the disappointment changed into excited anticipation.
And then the vice-commander, naked as the day he was born, was between his legs and looking at him with those dark eyes, now even darker with passion, dark and dangerous as a summer storm and Saitou was gently guided to lie down again, lovered onto the pile of their clothes and pressed against that strong body, burning hardness against burning hardness.
Then he was being kissed again, this time gentle, but firm, calming and sure, like the promise of a lover.
Hijikata-san’s hands were roaming over his body again, massaging Saitou’s hips, chest, arms, shoulders, chest and hips again, then moving to his backside, thights, inside and out, up and down, guiding him to spread his legs wide open, and Saitou’s pulse was flying, as he realized what came next.
One of the hands left Saitou’s body just for the few moments it took to withdraw a small bottle of ointment from the folds of purple cloth and vagualy Saitou thought how good it was that Hijikata-san had brought his own bottle, since it spared Saitou the embarassment of searching between the folds of his own clothes for the one that Sano had given him, new and chrysantheum scented and that Saitou had brought with himself, as a precaution.
Saitou watched how those elegant, long fingers first opened the small jar, then dipped in and coated themselves with the thick liquid, before pulling out.
Hijikata-san looked at him with a look reminiscent of the searching one, before saying.
„If you turn around, it should hurt less.“
It was more a question than a demand, like a proposition Hijikata-san wasn’t sure he should be making and Saitou, feeling humbled, looked into those beautiful purple eyes, dark with pleasure.
And shook his head.
„No, Hijikata-san, please. I...“
Before he could finish, gentle lips silenced him.
„I know.“ Hijikata-san said, their eyes meeting again, relishing at the sight. „I feel the same.“
No other word was said and Hijikata-san leaned down to kiss him again and with a pang of nervous feeling mixed with excitement, Saitou felt one of those long fingers press against his entrance. Just as the finger slipped in, Saitou breathed in sharply and those velvet lips kissed his face reassuringly. It didn’t hurt as much as it felt unusual and new, but not all that unpleasent. As Saitou relaxed his body, another of those long fingers slippped in and started spreading him. It was now mildly uncomforttable, but then the vice-commander twisted and curved his fingers and for a moment Saitou thought he would tear apart from pleasure. He was vagualy aware, that the sound that his throat had just made, had been too loud to be proper and the look in his eyes had to be too wanton to be dignified, but the feeling he had just expierienced made him absolutely ignorant about it.
It had been like an explosion of lust and pleasure, making him ache and wanton for more.
He felt Hijikata-san’s lips smirk against his skin and another finger slide in and then repeat the move.
This time Saitou was prepared, but it still was an overwhelming sensation that almost swept him away. Pleasure was rippling through his entire body, control over it lost, as it was shamelessly leaning into the touch, desperate for more friction.
But it wasn’t enough.
His member was aching and his insides were burning and all he wanted was more of that heat, more friction, more of this wonderfull feeling of completition.
Saitou wanted to be filled to the core, feel everything that was Hijikata-san.
The fingers moved away and Saitou made another undignified sound that was almost a sob, but then lips were on his again in a promising touch, as the slick hand lifted his knee over the broad shoulder and then, oh then, something seering hot and rock hard was pressing against him.
„Hijikata-san...“ he moaned the name of his lover, but the vice-commander corrected him in a raspy voice.
„Toushizou...It’s Toushizou...“
This time it was really a sob that passed Saitou’s lips and he looked up at his lover, took in the aroused heat in that handsom face, the dark mess that was once smooth raven hair, now a disarray, and the look of pure lust and want in purple eyes, now almost black with pleasure.
„Toushizou-san...“
He said, his voice trembling with strain and emotion and then the hot hardness was pushing into him, stretching him, opening him, claiming him, filling him to the core and all Saitou could do was sob and groan at the pure bliss of feeling complete and whole.
Purple eyes found him again and held him captive with their sheer force.
Hijikata...Toushizou-san didn’t stop advancing further into the silken heat untill he was buried to the hilt, deep inside of Saitou.
It was a carefull, but sure press, not wanting to either hurt him, or scare him away, but making him enjoy every ripple of that exquisite pleasure running through him.
And then he was loosing that feeling, as Toushizou-san was pulling out and Saitou was sobbing again and even the calming kisses on his shoulder couldn’t help it, but then he was being filled again, slowly, torturingly and oh-so sensually, that it tore a groan from his throat and his eyes rolled back into his head.
Toushizou-san continued the slow, torturous pace and it drove Saitou insane with that maddening ache that burned between his legs.
The pleasure was building up, but it was nowhere near enough and Saitou groaned with desperate need.
„Toushizou-san...“ he cried out and a moan was his answer, but the pace didn’t change. And Saitou in his despair, did something he never thought he’d do. „Toushizou-san, please...please...“ he begged and from above him a groan came. When he looked up, a sight so rare and precious greeted him, that it almost drove him over the edge. Toushizou-san’s features were twisted with pleasure, the purple eyes were black and glazed, the pupils were wide and dilated, the velvety lips parted, the sharp teeth clenched with exertion.
And all of that for Saitou.
And then, suddenly the strong hips jerked forward, the slow press becoming a sharp thrust and Saitou was screaming.
Then it ebbed away as Toushizou-san pulled back slowly and Saitou’s heart leaped into his throat as he felt the muscles tense again, preparing for another thrust. And then another. And another. And another, another, each of which tore desperate sounds from him, as desperate as the burning feeling, that Saitou thought couldn’t get any hotter, but it did and he wondered how longer he could bear it.
„Toushizou-san...please, please, please...“
Toushizou-san groaned and the sharp teeth bit his shoulder, but finally, finally at last those strong hips started thrusting in earnest, as the demon vice of the Shinsengumi stoped containing himself, hitting that spot in Saitou over and over again, demanding instead of asking, and taking almost brutally, but also giving Saitou a very precious gift...
With every thrust a burst of color exploaded behind Saitou’s eyes and he felt the climax approaching fast. He was gasping and moaning Toushizou-san’s name and he could feel his lover also edging close to the peak, the hot member within Saitou twitching with the approaching release.
The thrusts became faster and Toushizou-san was gasping into his ear, hot, aroused breath burning Saitou’s skin.
And then, that voice strained with pleasure, rough and raspy, was saying the one word, that sent him tumbling over the edge, the waves of release crashing over him like a tsunami, sweeping him away.
„Hajime...Hajime!“
As the tidal wave of release crashed over him with all of it’s force, Saitou’s back bent in a way, that wasn’t even physicaly possible and he was making sounds, he didn’t even know he was capable of making, but all of that didn’t matter, it wasn’t important, as the entire heat exploaded in Saitou in a giant burst of color and sensation and he was coming and coming, releasing again and again, his seed spluttering all over them, the space around them and the clothes beneath them and he felt hot, hot, burning heat filling him, as Toushizou-san was thrusting into him with an inhumanpace, riding their release out, driving it out of them with the force of a true demon.
And then it was over, as the pleasure slowly ebbed away and his senses started to return to Saitou and their surroundings came back, and Toushizou-san wasn’t just a feeling of heat, but a physical presence beside him, around him, arms and legs and hair and lips.
They collapsed onto the ground, gasping for air.
Toushizou-san then gently, carefully pulled out of Saitou, but never let go of him.
Their eyes met.
Toushizou-san’s pupils were still wide, but the purple color started to return into the irises, their look gentle and devoted, like a lover’s.
They smiled at each other and a sweaty, calloused hand carressed Saitou’s still flushed cheek.
„Hajime...Saitou Hajime...“
Saitou’s heart fluttered at the sound of his name said so gently and lovingly and not capable of speaking, finding no words for a response worthy of such a gesture, he simply leaned into the touch and allowed a small glister of wetness reach his eyes.
„Toushizou-san...“ he said finally, voice trembling with emotion and the strain of the last moments and Toushizou-san smiled at him, and leaned in to carress Saitou’s eyes with his lips, kissing the wetness away.
For a few moments they just lay there like that, enjoying the warm embrace, rubbing their faces together, catching a few last feels of each other’s skin, before the last remains of pleasure faded.
It was Toushizou-san who spoke first.
„We need to clean up.“
Saitou nodded tiredly and already made a move to sit up, but Toushizou-san’s hand on his arm stoped him.
„Wait here.“
With those words and a smile Toushizou-san stood up and went further back into his quarters. Saitou heard the sounds of rustling and rumaging, and after a while his lover returned, carrying a soft-looking cloth in his hand.
Then Toushizou-san sat down next to Saitou again and gently begun cleaning his body, making Saitou’s cheeks heat up.
„But vice-commander-“ Saitou protested, embarassed about his superior officer cleaning him, that he even momentarily forgott, that just a few moments ago he had been calling the vice-commander by the man’s first name.
The vice-commander reminded him of this fact rather resolutely.
„Hush!“ The raven-haired male commanded, then added in a slightly gentler, but not less resolute voice. „Let me do this.“ Then he looked directly into Saitou’s eyes. „And from now on it’s Toushizou-san. At least in private.“
Saitou hesitated, before finally nodding.
„Toushizou-san.“ He said affirmatively and was startled to find a smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
Finally Toushizou-san was finished with cleaning and gentle purple eyes settled on Saitou’s face again.
„Will you stay the night?“
Saitou hesitated as slowly the clouds of joy, that surrounded the present moment, gave space to a more darker and uncertain tomorrow.
„Do you want me to?“
They loved each other.
They had sex together.
But what did that mean for the future?
Could they stay together?
„Yes.“ Was Toushizou-san’s reply and Saitou nodded.
„Then I’ll stay...“
He didn’t realize he had looked away untill a gentle hand came to rest on his cheek.
„What’s the matter, Saitou?“ Toushizou-san asked and Saitou warred with himself.
„Hajime?“
And Saitou admitted defeat and decided to confide in his lover.
„I’m just wondering what tomorrow will bring. Or the next week. Or the next month, the next year.“ Toushizou-san watched him, gently carressing his cheek, while he silently listened to Saitou. „It was only yesterday you wanted to design a rule against nanshoku and today you’re kissing me and loving me. Me, a man.“ Saitou’s hand reached up and stroked the messy, dark locks absentmindedly. „I...I feel confused.“
A warm hand took his and pulled it to equally warm lips, which blew a feather-light, reassuring kiss over the calloused skin, before Toushizou-san answered him.
„I was blind, Saitou, that’s all. Blind to your feelings and blind to my own ignorance. I don’t know what tomorrow, or the next week, or the following months will bring us, but I know I love you and that I want to be with you, no matter what. The only thing that really matters to me, the one thing more important than my responsibilities, is you...Hajime. I want you to be happy.“ A thumb stroked Saitou’s palm and he quietly listened. „As for the rule...“ A small snort sounded from Toushizou-san at that, „I thought about it and I decided not to drop it. I have noticed, that many times, attraction to the same male is used as an excuse between two men, who just want a fight. It can bring a lot of problems. But seeing as it would upset many of our members, I don’t want to be too strict about this rule. Exceptions will be granted to those I trust to be reasonable.“
„Isn’t that a little unfair?“
„Maybe. But I think it’d be more unfair if I banned nanshoku completely to those that have happy and fulfilled relationships and had them, for a long time, just because someone can’t keep his sword sheathed. I think that at least Shinpachi would voice his disagreement rather loudly.“
Saitou conceded the point with a chuckle.
„You might be right.“
Toushizou-san smiled.
„I am.“ He said absolutely. „Now, let’s go to bed. As much as I don’t want to move, we can’t sleep on the floor.“
Saitou nodded and stood up, with Toushizou-san’s help.
Then Toushizou-san rolled out one of the spare tatamis and several moments later no more thoughts and uncertainities invaded Saitou’s mind, as he felt himself being claimed by sleep, safe in the embrace of his lover. In the last moments of consciousness, just before he slipped away, he heard a low mumble as a deep voice carried through the fog of his mind a few loving words, reciting...
„Like Summer and Winter, like fire and ice, your embrace feels.
Let the Sun rest, may the Night fall and your arms keep me near.“
ox*xo-*-*-*-ox*xo
Part 5 (the twist) / OMAKE (the aftermath)