VACATION ! ^^
No school until 7th of january! :D It feels so good, I really need this vacation.
I'm so tired -.-
And this winter...is just going to be so depressing. I'm trying to ignore it the best I can, but I can't do it much longer... The day is so close now and I can't pretend that it's not going to happen, I hate it. I hate that she is going to do what I have dreamed of for so long, and now, when I'm finally in school, not far from being able to fulfill my dream. 1,5 years away of being able to go to Tokyo for a year, she goes. She "can't wait for me". And she thinks that I'm supposed to be happy for her? >< Is it just me being selfish? But I can't feel any happiness for her at all... I'm sorry.
Three of my other friends are going to Thailand for a month. A little more than a week before she leaves, perfect timing huh..? :p
Well, I hope I manage on my own. Why shouldn't I... I just feel so.. Bitter, sad, angry, unimportant, dissapointed, and most of all alone and empty. But still so full of things I never say or do, that I'm soon going to burst.
So, today is the 18th, 6 days from christmas eve. I can't understand that time has gone so fast. It just goes to fast and at the same time so slow! I hate it, why can't I just feel one thing!? I feel so confused and misplaced. :(
I need a hobby or something! :P I've thought about starting to play guitar, and become as good as Uruhaaaa! ;D
Hm, I've never been a big writer at livejournal, but I never talk about these things so I thought that I should write it. I just need to get it out.
And actually I think I feel a little better for now...
I'm so tired -.-
And this winter...is just going to be so depressing. I'm trying to ignore it the best I can, but I can't do it much longer... The day is so close now and I can't pretend that it's not going to happen, I hate it. I hate that she is going to do what I have dreamed of for so long, and now, when I'm finally in school, not far from being able to fulfill my dream. 1,5 years away of being able to go to Tokyo for a year, she goes. She "can't wait for me". And she thinks that I'm supposed to be happy for her? >< Is it just me being selfish? But I can't feel any happiness for her at all... I'm sorry.
Three of my other friends are going to Thailand for a month. A little more than a week before she leaves, perfect timing huh..? :p
Well, I hope I manage on my own. Why shouldn't I... I just feel so.. Bitter, sad, angry, unimportant, dissapointed, and most of all alone and empty. But still so full of things I never say or do, that I'm soon going to burst.
So, today is the 18th, 6 days from christmas eve. I can't understand that time has gone so fast. It just goes to fast and at the same time so slow! I hate it, why can't I just feel one thing!? I feel so confused and misplaced. :(
I need a hobby or something! :P I've thought about starting to play guitar, and become as good as Uruhaaaa! ;D
Hm, I've never been a big writer at livejournal, but I never talk about these things so I thought that I should write it. I just need to get it out.
And actually I think I feel a little better for now...