buffy the vampire slayer 1x03: the witch picspam
I make allowances for your youth, but I expect a certain amount of responsibility,
and instead of which you enslave yourself to this, this... Cult?
1x03. The Witch
GILES: This is madness! What can you have been thinking? You are the Slayer! Lives depend upon you! I make allowances for your youth, but I expect a certain amount of responsibility, and instead of which you enslave yourself to this, this... Cult?
BUFFY: You don't like the color?
XANDER: Ooo, stretchy! Where was I?
WILLOW: You were pretending that seeing scantily clad girls in revealing postures was a spiritual experience.
XANDER: Who said I was pretending? Oh, hey! Here's a good luck thing for tryouts.
BUFFY: What's this?
WILLOW: What's that?
BUFFY: Oh, how sweet! 'Yours Always.'
XANDER: I-i-it came that way, really, they all said that!
WILLOW: That girl's on fire!
CORDELIA: Enough of the hyperbole!
GILES: But that's the thrill of living on the Hellmouth! There's a veritable cornucopia of, of fiends and devils and, and ghouls to engage. Pardon me for finding the glass half full.
BUFFY: You guys don't have to get involved.
XANDER: What d'ya mean? We're a team! Aren't we a team?
WILLOW: Yeah! You're the Slayer, and we're, like, the Slayerettes!
BUFFY: I just don't like putting you guys in danger.
XANDER: Oh, huh, I laugh in the face of danger. Then I hide until it goes away.
XANDER: Was she wearin' it? The bracelet, she was wearin' it, right? Pretty much like we're goin' out.
WILLOW: Except without the hugging or kissing or her knowing about it.
XANDER: So I'm just a figure of fun. I should ask her out, right?
WILLOW: You won't know till you ask.
XANDER: That's why you're so cool! You're like a guy! You're my guy friend that knows about girl stuff!
WILLOW: Oh, great. I'm a guy.
XANDER: For I am Xander, King of Cretins. May all lesser cretins bow before me.
WILLOW: You're not invisible to Buffy.
XANDER: It's worse! I'm just like a part of the scenery, like an old shoe. Or a rug that you walk on every day but don't even really see it.
WILLOW: Like a pen that's all chewed up, and you know you should throw it away, but you don't, not 'cause you like it so much, more 'cause you're just used to...
XANDER: Will, yeah, that is the point, you don't have to drive it through my head like a railroad spike. I'm gonna take your advice and not beat around the bush.
WILLOW: Or I could be wrong! Maybe you should beat around the bush more.
XANDER: Nah, I gotta be a man and ask her out. Y'know, I gotta stop giving her ID bracelets, uh, subtle innuendoes, taking Polaroids outside of her bedroom window late at night, that last part is a joke to relieve the tension because here she comes. Okay, into battle I go. Would you ask her out for me? No. Man. Me battle. Buffy! Would you like to, uh...
BUFFY: Is that even Cordelia's locker?
XANDER: Huh? Oh, I don't know. What I'm saying is accompany me Friday night...
BUFFY: Xander, I have to, um... We can make this up later. You don't mind, do you?
XANDER: *whistles the sound of a bomb falling and exploding*
GILES: Why should someone want to harm Cordelia?
WILLOW: Maybe because they met her? Did I say that?
WILLOW: Xander...
XANDER: Yeah.
WILLOW: 'Witches: Historic Roots to Modern Practice.' Checked out by Alexander Harris.
BUFFY: 'The Pagan Rites', checked out by Alexander...
XANDER: Alright, alright, it's not what you think.
WILLOW: You like to look at the semi-nude engravings?
XANDER: Oh, well, uh, I-I guess it *is* what you think.
XANDER: Wave 'Hi' to the nice little witch!
WILLOW: All set. Do you have a plan?
BUFFY: Spill it on her. Try and make it look natural.
XANDER: We're right behind you, only... further back.
BUFFY: Macho, macho, man! I want to be a macho man. Macho... Oh, hey, juice! Mm... Quality juice. Not from concentrate!
BUFFY: Willow! Xander! My buds are here! I love my buds! Hi!
XANDER: Is it me, or is Buffy a bit looped?
BUFFY: No, no, no. You don't want her, she's a wi...
XANDER: A wise choice indeed!
BUFFY: You're my Xander-shaped friend! Do you have any idea why I love you so, Xander?
WILLOW: We gotta get her to a...
XANDER: Let her speak!
BUFFY: I'll tell you! You're not like other boys at all.
XANDER: Well...
BUFFY: You are totally, and completely one of the girls! I'm that comfy with him.
Love it. Introduced to Amy, witchcraft, and the cheerleading trophy all in one episode.
BUFFY: Guess what? I feel better!
JOYCE: You're sixteen. I think there's a, a biological imperative whereby I can't understand you because I'm not sixteen.
BUFFY: Do you ever wish you could be sixteen again?
JOYCE: Oh, that's a frightful notion. Go through all that again? Not even if it helped me understand you.
AMY: That last spell... She said I'd never make trouble again. Wherever she is I don't think we'll have to worry.
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