Family (Or Lack Thereof)
"Well, I guess that makes that Official"
I Officially have no Family any more....which is not entirely a Big Deal, if you ever Met my Family
My Father Died in August 1999, but to me, he Died some Three Years earlier, when we stopped speaking to each other
Since that time, my own Immediate Family (Mother and Sister) and I have grown more and more Distant, to the Point that I stopped speaking to my Sister some Five Years ago
My Mother, I hadn't spoken to for some Four Years after my Father Died, and then I started Contact with her again via Mobile Phone and later E-Mail
However....
This too seems to have Stopped
One of my Hobbies is Genealogy, which of course means that I'm doing a Family Jungle for my Family (Too Much Information for just One Tree, as I have Information going back 2000 Years!!), and have to Contact my Cousins from time to time to try and get Updates from them
I have been somewhat lapse in sending out Christmas Cards to my Cousins in the past number of years....mainly because I tend to move around a bit, but this year, I tried to make up for that
Six Weeks ago, I started sending out Twenty Nine Cards to my 'Family', with a Letter in each, Explaining what I've been doing over those years
Thus far, out of the Twenty Nine Cards I Sent, I have Received only One Response!!
Nothing from my Mother
Nothing even from my Aunt, who used to Send me a Card with a Letter every year (yes, it was her Idea I Stole)
With less than Two Weeks until Christmas, I think the Chances of my getting a Response from the others, would be VERY Slim
So....
It's Official....
I have no 'Actual' Family any more
My Friends (Both of them), and my 'Friends by Association' (Attending the Same Functions on a Regular Basis), are my only Family now
So....
What does Christmas mean to me??
Absolutely nothing
I have nobody to Spend that Time with (I'm Single, as you might have Guessed), so to me, it's merely another Day that happens to be a Public Holiday
Nothing more, at this stage
I have my Christmas Cards on Display (the one from the ONE Cousin that Responded, and one from a Klingon in a Group that I'm in....Klingon Strike Force), but I have nothing else here to Indicate that it's Christmas
I've already Watched Most of the Christmas Movies I have (Scrooged, Santa Claus: The Movie, The Santa Clause, The Santa Clause 2), and will be Watching The Hogfather sometime that Week
Am I the 'Real Life' Ebenezer Scrooge??
No
I still like to believe in the 'Spirit' of Christmas (the Spirit, not what Passes for it these days)
It's just that, without any Family to actually spend the time with, is there any real Point of bothering?
Even if I WAS on Speaking Terms with my Family....
My Sister Lives in Cental State....about 6 Hours away, if I had a Car (which I don't), and my Mother Lives Two States away....27 Hours away by Bus
Neither is a Jouney that I would look forward to at the best of times, with my Arthritic Knees
So....
I merely Regard it as another Day, and that way, I don't have to Deal with the Reminder of exactly how Lonely I am
Doesn't always Work, alas, but it's still better than the Alternative, of being Reminded CONSTANTLY of how Lonely I am, and being Tempted to do something somewhat Drastic to End that
Main Thing that Stops me there??
You can Laugh at this or call me a 'Trek Nerd' or whatever....
Suicide is NOT an Honourable way to Die
Doesn't stop me from Contemplating it, though....
Especially as I have no Job at the moment (I was TERMINATED a couple of months ago, from a Job I was in for more than Three Years), and I have no Girl-Friend
Nor....at the moment....do I have any real Prospects for either, alas
I Officially have no Family any more....which is not entirely a Big Deal, if you ever Met my Family
My Father Died in August 1999, but to me, he Died some Three Years earlier, when we stopped speaking to each other
Since that time, my own Immediate Family (Mother and Sister) and I have grown more and more Distant, to the Point that I stopped speaking to my Sister some Five Years ago
My Mother, I hadn't spoken to for some Four Years after my Father Died, and then I started Contact with her again via Mobile Phone and later E-Mail
However....
This too seems to have Stopped
One of my Hobbies is Genealogy, which of course means that I'm doing a Family Jungle for my Family (Too Much Information for just One Tree, as I have Information going back 2000 Years!!), and have to Contact my Cousins from time to time to try and get Updates from them
I have been somewhat lapse in sending out Christmas Cards to my Cousins in the past number of years....mainly because I tend to move around a bit, but this year, I tried to make up for that
Six Weeks ago, I started sending out Twenty Nine Cards to my 'Family', with a Letter in each, Explaining what I've been doing over those years
Thus far, out of the Twenty Nine Cards I Sent, I have Received only One Response!!
Nothing from my Mother
Nothing even from my Aunt, who used to Send me a Card with a Letter every year (yes, it was her Idea I Stole)
With less than Two Weeks until Christmas, I think the Chances of my getting a Response from the others, would be VERY Slim
So....
It's Official....
I have no 'Actual' Family any more
My Friends (Both of them), and my 'Friends by Association' (Attending the Same Functions on a Regular Basis), are my only Family now
So....
What does Christmas mean to me??
Absolutely nothing
I have nobody to Spend that Time with (I'm Single, as you might have Guessed), so to me, it's merely another Day that happens to be a Public Holiday
Nothing more, at this stage
I have my Christmas Cards on Display (the one from the ONE Cousin that Responded, and one from a Klingon in a Group that I'm in....Klingon Strike Force), but I have nothing else here to Indicate that it's Christmas
I've already Watched Most of the Christmas Movies I have (Scrooged, Santa Claus: The Movie, The Santa Clause, The Santa Clause 2), and will be Watching The Hogfather sometime that Week
Am I the 'Real Life' Ebenezer Scrooge??
No
I still like to believe in the 'Spirit' of Christmas (the Spirit, not what Passes for it these days)
It's just that, without any Family to actually spend the time with, is there any real Point of bothering?
Even if I WAS on Speaking Terms with my Family....
My Sister Lives in Cental State....about 6 Hours away, if I had a Car (which I don't), and my Mother Lives Two States away....27 Hours away by Bus
Neither is a Jouney that I would look forward to at the best of times, with my Arthritic Knees
So....
I merely Regard it as another Day, and that way, I don't have to Deal with the Reminder of exactly how Lonely I am
Doesn't always Work, alas, but it's still better than the Alternative, of being Reminded CONSTANTLY of how Lonely I am, and being Tempted to do something somewhat Drastic to End that
Main Thing that Stops me there??
You can Laugh at this or call me a 'Trek Nerd' or whatever....
Suicide is NOT an Honourable way to Die
Doesn't stop me from Contemplating it, though....
Especially as I have no Job at the moment (I was TERMINATED a couple of months ago, from a Job I was in for more than Three Years), and I have no Girl-Friend
Nor....at the moment....do I have any real Prospects for either, alas