30 and stuff.
Things I've noticed now that I turned 30.
1. Turning 30 is just another day. I figured as much but it seems others place a lot more value / constraints on their age. I've met my expectations being that I am still alive and in one piece. I'm pretty much at peace with the whole getting older deal. At least at this time and place, who knows, when I'm 40 I may look back and tell myself to fuck off.
One thing I stand by though is that you can look back every four years and see a pretty significant change in yourself. I always seem to like who I am in the here and now, but when looking at the here and now of four years past I think the guy I used to be is a shit head. 4 years though, anything more is too long and anything less hasn't allowed things to cool off enough (also this scale starts from the age of 12 and goes from there. I'm fully aware this is a stupid system but it is the mirror I hold up to myself.)
2. I have a lot of awesome things in my life between Paige, my family and my friends. I'm pretty happy when I get my nose out of my asshole. I need to try and do that more often and not bog myself down with consequences and scenarios that have no business being played out in the first place. It's one thing to worry but to let it cement you to the ground does a greater disservice.
3. I used to be very observant. Somewhere along the line this became hazy. Today that realization hit when I noticed my button up work shirt was made for a man about 6 inches taller than and about 15 pounds lighter than me. I thought my neck was fat but upon closer inspection the reason the top button wouldn't button was because the shirt was made for a seven foot axe handle.
There have been a few moments where everything seems to distill and the beauty of the mundane creeps in. I used to live in those moments, almost obsessively. Maybe I was fooling myself with what I saw and basked in because it happens less and less. There have been a few times this year where I've been out back eating lunch on work break while our two dogs lay around in the sun, everything slows down and there's a nice warmth to the image and I can see strands of rogue hair on a dog's chin or a fly buzzing around some distant shit and for a breath everything is a postcard only I can value. I need to stop actively looking for it and just appreciate it when it happens.
4. ADR is done. We killed the band off to keep things friendly and work on other music together. It's a bit sad as we've spent close to 7 years doing it and have been all over the place playing and meeting friends. There is a lot of guilt in me for upsetting our fans who were disappointed in this decision. We were really starting to make some noise and getting attention but it just proved to much of a burden to continue.
5. Booze. I love it. I hate it. I think the relationship is balanced out a bit more these days than say a year ago. That time was pretty dark and emotional. Today I'm pretty happy and alcohol is still in my life. I'm sure most will say this is a bad thing and I can't really deny it but at this stage we keep each other company.
6. Yeah. That's about all I have for right now.
1. Turning 30 is just another day. I figured as much but it seems others place a lot more value / constraints on their age. I've met my expectations being that I am still alive and in one piece. I'm pretty much at peace with the whole getting older deal. At least at this time and place, who knows, when I'm 40 I may look back and tell myself to fuck off.
One thing I stand by though is that you can look back every four years and see a pretty significant change in yourself. I always seem to like who I am in the here and now, but when looking at the here and now of four years past I think the guy I used to be is a shit head. 4 years though, anything more is too long and anything less hasn't allowed things to cool off enough (also this scale starts from the age of 12 and goes from there. I'm fully aware this is a stupid system but it is the mirror I hold up to myself.)
2. I have a lot of awesome things in my life between Paige, my family and my friends. I'm pretty happy when I get my nose out of my asshole. I need to try and do that more often and not bog myself down with consequences and scenarios that have no business being played out in the first place. It's one thing to worry but to let it cement you to the ground does a greater disservice.
3. I used to be very observant. Somewhere along the line this became hazy. Today that realization hit when I noticed my button up work shirt was made for a man about 6 inches taller than and about 15 pounds lighter than me. I thought my neck was fat but upon closer inspection the reason the top button wouldn't button was because the shirt was made for a seven foot axe handle.
There have been a few moments where everything seems to distill and the beauty of the mundane creeps in. I used to live in those moments, almost obsessively. Maybe I was fooling myself with what I saw and basked in because it happens less and less. There have been a few times this year where I've been out back eating lunch on work break while our two dogs lay around in the sun, everything slows down and there's a nice warmth to the image and I can see strands of rogue hair on a dog's chin or a fly buzzing around some distant shit and for a breath everything is a postcard only I can value. I need to stop actively looking for it and just appreciate it when it happens.
4. ADR is done. We killed the band off to keep things friendly and work on other music together. It's a bit sad as we've spent close to 7 years doing it and have been all over the place playing and meeting friends. There is a lot of guilt in me for upsetting our fans who were disappointed in this decision. We were really starting to make some noise and getting attention but it just proved to much of a burden to continue.
5. Booze. I love it. I hate it. I think the relationship is balanced out a bit more these days than say a year ago. That time was pretty dark and emotional. Today I'm pretty happy and alcohol is still in my life. I'm sure most will say this is a bad thing and I can't really deny it but at this stage we keep each other company.
6. Yeah. That's about all I have for right now.