(no subject)
It's been a long time since I've written anything but I feel like I've exhausted my social media options (post anymore tweets and blog posts and I'm pretty sure people will start unfollowing me) and I really feel like I need to write something down about how I'm feeling. Just to show that I did feel it, at one point, and to remember that.
I am happy being single. For someone who hasn't been single since I was 17 this is odd.
I used to need someone to tell me I look good, to feel it. Now I know that even if I don't think I look good, or that I'm fat, or my teeth stick out too far there are people that think the world of me. Not just looks-wise but in general. My sister, who really should be a perfect stranger as I've not lived with her for four years loves me. Someone loves me, for me.
I don't need a boyfriend. For the first time in SIX years I do not need a boyfriend.
I have you to thank for that. You hurt me, I won't go as far to say you broke my heart but you hurt me. I didn't understand why someone would choose to be alone over being with someone else. Even if you're unhappy with that person, it was better to be with them, than alone.
No it's not. We are selfish machines, we ALL do things for us and us alone. YOU are the only person who will put you first.
I mean don't get me wrong, just because I don't want a boyfriend doesn't mean that I don't love the attention I get when meeting my friend's friends for the first time and I have half of them following me around all night. That feels amazing. I love flirting, I love it.
I have started to turn people down. Now this is a huge deal for me. I was so unconfident that I needed someone, anyone to feel validated. I don't need to be with people that I don't find attractive. I can wait for that one person that makes me speechless and turns my stomach over.
I'm shit scared about going to Canada y'know, I'm moving to another fricking continent but wow, oh wow, it will be amazing. It will be hard living with my parents again but I can say that I tried, that I've done things, I've lived.
Regret nothing, do everything
I am happy being single. For someone who hasn't been single since I was 17 this is odd.
I used to need someone to tell me I look good, to feel it. Now I know that even if I don't think I look good, or that I'm fat, or my teeth stick out too far there are people that think the world of me. Not just looks-wise but in general. My sister, who really should be a perfect stranger as I've not lived with her for four years loves me. Someone loves me, for me.
I don't need a boyfriend. For the first time in SIX years I do not need a boyfriend.
I have you to thank for that. You hurt me, I won't go as far to say you broke my heart but you hurt me. I didn't understand why someone would choose to be alone over being with someone else. Even if you're unhappy with that person, it was better to be with them, than alone.
No it's not. We are selfish machines, we ALL do things for us and us alone. YOU are the only person who will put you first.
I mean don't get me wrong, just because I don't want a boyfriend doesn't mean that I don't love the attention I get when meeting my friend's friends for the first time and I have half of them following me around all night. That feels amazing. I love flirting, I love it.
I have started to turn people down. Now this is a huge deal for me. I was so unconfident that I needed someone, anyone to feel validated. I don't need to be with people that I don't find attractive. I can wait for that one person that makes me speechless and turns my stomach over.
I'm shit scared about going to Canada y'know, I'm moving to another fricking continent but wow, oh wow, it will be amazing. It will be hard living with my parents again but I can say that I tried, that I've done things, I've lived.
Regret nothing, do everything