(no subject)
so... having a special someone doesn't mean that your v-day is going to be a good one. i'm still depressed. at least one of my friends came back to town today. we went to ben's apt. to see him but only rain was there. she was cleaning too. i don't mean straightening either... the girl had out the vacume and all of ben's cleaning supplies. me eric and michelle played a gasme of magic waiting for ben but michelle started feeling bad so we left. they dropped me off at my house and all i could do is think after that. i feel like a horrible boyfriend because of the way this "special" day turned out. i spent all of 3 hours awake with joslin because of me staying too long at ben's. i tried to stay awake but i kept dozing at awkward times. things just always turn out bad it seems. on a brighter note i start a job monday and also start yet another one next week. always get these things too late. i have to figure something special out for joslin's birthday to sort of make up for this. i feel so bad that i fucked everything up yet again. some day i'm going to not fuck up anything.. hopefully that day will come before everyone dis owns me. i hate being depressed. makes me want to become a hermit once again. at least in those days i didn't have all of these disappointments in myself. i think it's kind of funny how i can tell joslin that she's all i want for v-day yet i feel so bad that i wasn't able to get her something extravagant so i feel like complete and utter shit. tomarrow i think i'm going to get me soe work shoes and be depressed all day.
hope everyone had a better day than i.
later
hope everyone had a better day than i.
later