1:11 AM . . . Make a Wish!
I've made a life changing decision. I'm changing my major. I don't want to be an engineer anymore. The revelation came when I was in circuits lab the other day. I had to plug wires into a plastic board and measure how much electricity flowed through the wires. Wow - I should have walked out then.
What was I thinking? Did I really believe that I wanted to be an engineer? Could you picture me sitting at a desk with a computer all day working with a bunch of wierd gumpy men? No! I don't know what exactly I want to do yet. But what I do know is it is not engineering.
The only thing I ever said I wanted to do in my life was make change. I used to convince myself that I could do that by being an engineer. I could engineer something that would make the world better or at least a few lives here and there. But, I think I was kidding myself. When I think change though, I think Gandhi. "Be the change you want to see in the world."
I got some advice today. She told me I should get my teaching certificate with a major in Political Science and Spanish. That way I could teach if I didn't like politics. I could teach - a few people have told me that I should teach. It could be something to fall back on. I could run for an office someday, I could run someone else's campaign, I could lobby on Capitol Hill, I could be a lawyer. She told me that Business was not the way to go if I wanted a family. I want a family. I want children. I'm getting that nesting instinct.
Everyday I feel older (and obviously I am), but I feel like I'm missing something everyday. And not just classes to take this semester or a major or a path to take in school right now. Something else. Something too deep to describe. Something intangible. Something that is felt in the heart.
My wish is to find that thing I'm missing.
What was I thinking? Did I really believe that I wanted to be an engineer? Could you picture me sitting at a desk with a computer all day working with a bunch of wierd gumpy men? No! I don't know what exactly I want to do yet. But what I do know is it is not engineering.
The only thing I ever said I wanted to do in my life was make change. I used to convince myself that I could do that by being an engineer. I could engineer something that would make the world better or at least a few lives here and there. But, I think I was kidding myself. When I think change though, I think Gandhi. "Be the change you want to see in the world."
I got some advice today. She told me I should get my teaching certificate with a major in Political Science and Spanish. That way I could teach if I didn't like politics. I could teach - a few people have told me that I should teach. It could be something to fall back on. I could run for an office someday, I could run someone else's campaign, I could lobby on Capitol Hill, I could be a lawyer. She told me that Business was not the way to go if I wanted a family. I want a family. I want children. I'm getting that nesting instinct.
Everyday I feel older (and obviously I am), but I feel like I'm missing something everyday. And not just classes to take this semester or a major or a path to take in school right now. Something else. Something too deep to describe. Something intangible. Something that is felt in the heart.
My wish is to find that thing I'm missing.