Back in Black...This time for real!
My five year stint as a teacher went up in flames, after the state closed our school due to lack of funding. I now find myself among the millions of unemployed, and have to find things to fill my now empty days. Keeping busy hasn't been too hard these last several weeks, as my son has been mostly home from school. Between unfortunately placed snow days, colds, stomach flus, and Dr.'s appointments, he's been more out than in. Now that the warm weather is starting to come back, I'm hoping that he'll be sick less, and therefore, in school MORE.
They can't have snow days in June, right?
I painted the kitchen a nice, sunny yellow, and my picket fence got a new white coating. All-in-all, I have to tell you, the house is shaping up nicely. Of course, we no longer have the money to do big renovations, but painting things is often inexpensive and very effective at changing the way a room is perceived. My next focus is my son's room. As soon as it's warm enough outside, that I can open the windows without dying, I'll be painting his room blue. He loves strong colors as much as I do, and Zev doesn't care, so long as he doesn't have to weild a paint brush.
Speaking of Zev...Yes, we're still married. Our anniversary is in a few weeks, actually. The big six! We're truly doing better. I can't tell you that it's all sunshine and roses, but I don't find myself fixating on what it would be like to be single. I'm not ready to poison his dinner at the first sign of his assholitude. He's back to the mild-mannered man that I married; a far cry from the lying, cheating, stupid asshole he transformed into after our son was born. I see love shining in his eyes, and every time I look at him, I'm consumed by guilt. I feel so very guilty that I don't love him. I try, God knows that I do, but I just don't feel it. I'm not sure that I'm capable of love anymore. I was war-torn and broken before our marriage. I already had issues with love and sex, but the events that transpired between us broke the proverbial camel's back. I really should see someone, but as usual, I'm dealing as well as I can on my own. I hope that I'll learn to love him, but whatever the case may be, I'm not leaving him.
Maybe I do love him, and I'm just too afraid to look closely enough to realize it. I'm still all mixed up over everything thing that came after. But the fact remains that we made it. The worst is over, and the aftermath of Hurricane Divorce has been mostly cleaned up. All we have left are some unresolved emotions, and the financial component, which we'll have to deal with for years to come.
I'm really hoping that my future entries will be mostly upbeat. I'm a loner, to be sure, but mostly, I'm a pretty content person. A far cry from who I was two years ago, let me tell you. So you'll probably be seeing more of me, though I still haven't decided whether or not I'll defect over to blogspot. Livejournal's blinkies, ads, and toys have kind of pissed me off. This used to be a free site that was simple to use, and bullshit free. Now they seem to cater to a younger crowd, and that's just not me anymore.
If I wanted v-gifts, and a blinking picture of a goat chewing Christmas lights on my profile, don't you think I'd have joined Myspace?
And now, onto the crafting:
I think I've been MIA since 2008, and what a crazy few years it's been. I've been out of work since September, and have decided to use the downtime to cross some of those UFO's off my list. I finished Ink Circle's "Kaleidoscope" on February 27, 2011. It had been partially done since 2007, and though I don't have a picture of the finished piece yet, I do hope to have one soon.
Next on my list of Unfinished and Partially abandoned projects was DMC's "Animal Alphabet". The last time you saw it, it looked like this.
Forgive the cell phone quality photos, but this is it as of tonight. I've been plugging hard at it for about eight days. As you can see, everything to the right of the "x-ray fish" is newly done. I've completed all of the alphabet blocks, and have now graduated to scenery. I'm hopeful to have it finished by the end of the month. Or, at the very least, by the time my four year old graduates from college. The colors look dingy and washed out, but I promise, it's very vibrant IRL. I hope to have a new digital camera (that's both child, and toilet proof) in a couple weeks. The finished project will look like this.
Tell me, all two of you who haven't deleted me from your lists... What have YOU been doing?
They can't have snow days in June, right?
I painted the kitchen a nice, sunny yellow, and my picket fence got a new white coating. All-in-all, I have to tell you, the house is shaping up nicely. Of course, we no longer have the money to do big renovations, but painting things is often inexpensive and very effective at changing the way a room is perceived. My next focus is my son's room. As soon as it's warm enough outside, that I can open the windows without dying, I'll be painting his room blue. He loves strong colors as much as I do, and Zev doesn't care, so long as he doesn't have to weild a paint brush.
Speaking of Zev...Yes, we're still married. Our anniversary is in a few weeks, actually. The big six! We're truly doing better. I can't tell you that it's all sunshine and roses, but I don't find myself fixating on what it would be like to be single. I'm not ready to poison his dinner at the first sign of his assholitude. He's back to the mild-mannered man that I married; a far cry from the lying, cheating, stupid asshole he transformed into after our son was born. I see love shining in his eyes, and every time I look at him, I'm consumed by guilt. I feel so very guilty that I don't love him. I try, God knows that I do, but I just don't feel it. I'm not sure that I'm capable of love anymore. I was war-torn and broken before our marriage. I already had issues with love and sex, but the events that transpired between us broke the proverbial camel's back. I really should see someone, but as usual, I'm dealing as well as I can on my own. I hope that I'll learn to love him, but whatever the case may be, I'm not leaving him.
Maybe I do love him, and I'm just too afraid to look closely enough to realize it. I'm still all mixed up over everything thing that came after. But the fact remains that we made it. The worst is over, and the aftermath of Hurricane Divorce has been mostly cleaned up. All we have left are some unresolved emotions, and the financial component, which we'll have to deal with for years to come.
I'm really hoping that my future entries will be mostly upbeat. I'm a loner, to be sure, but mostly, I'm a pretty content person. A far cry from who I was two years ago, let me tell you. So you'll probably be seeing more of me, though I still haven't decided whether or not I'll defect over to blogspot. Livejournal's blinkies, ads, and toys have kind of pissed me off. This used to be a free site that was simple to use, and bullshit free. Now they seem to cater to a younger crowd, and that's just not me anymore.
If I wanted v-gifts, and a blinking picture of a goat chewing Christmas lights on my profile, don't you think I'd have joined Myspace?
And now, onto the crafting:
I think I've been MIA since 2008, and what a crazy few years it's been. I've been out of work since September, and have decided to use the downtime to cross some of those UFO's off my list. I finished Ink Circle's "Kaleidoscope" on February 27, 2011. It had been partially done since 2007, and though I don't have a picture of the finished piece yet, I do hope to have one soon.
Next on my list of Unfinished and Partially abandoned projects was DMC's "Animal Alphabet". The last time you saw it, it looked like this.
Forgive the cell phone quality photos, but this is it as of tonight. I've been plugging hard at it for about eight days. As you can see, everything to the right of the "x-ray fish" is newly done. I've completed all of the alphabet blocks, and have now graduated to scenery. I'm hopeful to have it finished by the end of the month. Or, at the very least, by the time my four year old graduates from college. The colors look dingy and washed out, but I promise, it's very vibrant IRL. I hope to have a new digital camera (that's both child, and toilet proof) in a couple weeks. The finished project will look like this.
Tell me, all two of you who haven't deleted me from your lists... What have YOU been doing?