The future is bright
Do you know how many years I have struggled with the idea of planning ahead? Planning a future? A lot. I never found myself daydreaming about the future. Or thinking ahead. It's actually one of my worst traits: not planning ahead. I take everything one day at a time, I take risks, I don't think things through thoroughly, at all. And just go with the flow. I just don't see myself in the future. How terrible is that?
I have this amazing family, partner, etc and I have a hard time connecting when it comes to planning for the future or remotely talking about future goals.
It just seems so surreal for me. I just cannot invision myself in the future.
And I know, no one can predict the future. I know that. It's not that I am overthinking about what's to come or what will happen, or anything else, it's just that I don't see it. I can't see it.
Might be a mental block. Might be the fact that I have planned and attempting on ending my life that seeing the future seems so foreign to me. And I know, as an adult, with children, I need to plan for the future. Not just mine, but also my children's. And if it weren't for the right people in my life, I wouldn't be doing the responsible thing and plan ahead. (Yeah, I am doing it now. RRSPs, kids funds, planning where to buy a home/build a home on a property, where to retire, where to retire in, etc).
I guess you could say that I care now. I care about my future with the people in my life now.
It's a step. A good one.