The downside to self-praise
I recently had the opportunity to participate in a debate that arose many controversial issues about self-praising.
For one, and frankly the most talked-about topic, is the downside to it.
There are many people who reach the pinnacles of glory by dint of their destiny and yet have their feet firmly on the ground. Then there are people who struggle a lot to see their dreams transform into realities, and when they have they thank God and their friends and well-wishers for being a support. Finally, there are people who are simply a wayward drop in the ocean and they think they are the ocean itself. Such people are always busy assembling a verbal collage of praise for themselves and the type of work they do.
Delusions of grandeur form the footrest of self-praise, and it is often linked to feigned notions about the self. Self-praise is not a good sign and always proves counterproductive when it is communicated to a well-meaning, logical and knowledgeable population of the world. The fact that you say of yourself as being the best or the luckiest doesn’t necessarily mean that others on this planet earth are the worst or least lucky. If you are the best, you should be everywhere; how come then the others are where you are not. G. W. Harvey once remarked: “Self-praise occasionally succeeds with ignorant and credulous persons; very seldom with those who have much knowledge of the world. He who can make a discerning mind think more highly of him for what he says of himself, must be a person of unusual ability and address.”
You may only belie the very act of self-praise if you think you are the person of unusual ability and address. None of us is so perfect to claim this stature; and if we actually are of this magnificent and towering address then we don’t even need to self-praise ourselves. Self-praise leads to vanity and ego and is seen as a bad thing in almost every faith and religion. Given all its negative meanings in various dictionaries, which include bluster, brag, braggadocio, bragging, crow, crowing, line-shooting, rodomontade, rodomontade, self-assertion, speech act, vapouring, vaunt, self-praise is truly no recommendation.
When you indulge in self-praise, you are in reality insulting the sound intelligence and wisdom of the people who you think should be seconding your blabbermouth. You lose your faith in them and what they develop of you is a residual image of being a dishonest, self-centered and a highly disinteresting character. Montaigne has remarked that a man's accusations of himself are always believed; his praises of self never.
Psychologists group people of self-praising behavior among one of the narcissism types; something that bears a strong lineage to personality disorders. Those who hold high opinions about themselves are normally grouped into the ‘trickster-type’ which is charming, engaging, smooth and inviting and may have many social graces. All these adjectives often act as a veneer on a disturbed personality until they meet someone who is more knowledgeable than they are and has a better know-how of things.
“Behind the ‘trust me’ messages,” say psychologists, “you will find a malicious intent. It is the personality of the ‘con-artist’. The motives are covert and include exploitation, limitless entitlement and a cruel twist when the victim realizes the script of betrayal.” <-- messed up, hey?
It is understood that every one of us carries an element of self-praise on our shoulders since it is more of a spectrum. But when it goes to someone’s head, it is more of a problem and can affect almost all areas of life including work, leisure, relationships and well-being.
Since almost all of us want to go ahead in life, it is not surprising that people with self-praising tendencies will be doing a better job if they weren't so busy patting themselves on the back.
And as a saying goes: "Empty vessels make the most noise" - think about that one.
For one, and frankly the most talked-about topic, is the downside to it.
There are many people who reach the pinnacles of glory by dint of their destiny and yet have their feet firmly on the ground. Then there are people who struggle a lot to see their dreams transform into realities, and when they have they thank God and their friends and well-wishers for being a support. Finally, there are people who are simply a wayward drop in the ocean and they think they are the ocean itself. Such people are always busy assembling a verbal collage of praise for themselves and the type of work they do.
Delusions of grandeur form the footrest of self-praise, and it is often linked to feigned notions about the self. Self-praise is not a good sign and always proves counterproductive when it is communicated to a well-meaning, logical and knowledgeable population of the world. The fact that you say of yourself as being the best or the luckiest doesn’t necessarily mean that others on this planet earth are the worst or least lucky. If you are the best, you should be everywhere; how come then the others are where you are not. G. W. Harvey once remarked: “Self-praise occasionally succeeds with ignorant and credulous persons; very seldom with those who have much knowledge of the world. He who can make a discerning mind think more highly of him for what he says of himself, must be a person of unusual ability and address.”
You may only belie the very act of self-praise if you think you are the person of unusual ability and address. None of us is so perfect to claim this stature; and if we actually are of this magnificent and towering address then we don’t even need to self-praise ourselves. Self-praise leads to vanity and ego and is seen as a bad thing in almost every faith and religion. Given all its negative meanings in various dictionaries, which include bluster, brag, braggadocio, bragging, crow, crowing, line-shooting, rodomontade, rodomontade, self-assertion, speech act, vapouring, vaunt, self-praise is truly no recommendation.
When you indulge in self-praise, you are in reality insulting the sound intelligence and wisdom of the people who you think should be seconding your blabbermouth. You lose your faith in them and what they develop of you is a residual image of being a dishonest, self-centered and a highly disinteresting character. Montaigne has remarked that a man's accusations of himself are always believed; his praises of self never.
Psychologists group people of self-praising behavior among one of the narcissism types; something that bears a strong lineage to personality disorders. Those who hold high opinions about themselves are normally grouped into the ‘trickster-type’ which is charming, engaging, smooth and inviting and may have many social graces. All these adjectives often act as a veneer on a disturbed personality until they meet someone who is more knowledgeable than they are and has a better know-how of things.
“Behind the ‘trust me’ messages,” say psychologists, “you will find a malicious intent. It is the personality of the ‘con-artist’. The motives are covert and include exploitation, limitless entitlement and a cruel twist when the victim realizes the script of betrayal.” <-- messed up, hey?
It is understood that every one of us carries an element of self-praise on our shoulders since it is more of a spectrum. But when it goes to someone’s head, it is more of a problem and can affect almost all areas of life including work, leisure, relationships and well-being.
Since almost all of us want to go ahead in life, it is not surprising that people with self-praising tendencies will be doing a better job if they weren't so busy patting themselves on the back.
And as a saying goes: "Empty vessels make the most noise" - think about that one.