Progress, Improvement...and Technology
This is a story about a technologically advanced society, a cat in need, and Mr. Cold and Sarcastic.
Mr. Cold and Sarcastic was not a nice man. Few people liked to talk to him, because most felt that they could not understand him. Most thought that Mr. Cold and Sarcastic was hypercritical (for some idiots, hypocritical, even). After all, sometimes we need to forgive excusable mistakes. At some point in all of our lives, we've asked our friends "what are you doing here" (even in places like tennis courts or supermarkets), or made the entirely acceptable mistake of asking entirely retarded questions.
Mr. Cold and Sarcastic, why are you so sarcastic?
A cat in need was lying between two roads. Someone had torn off the flesh and skin off the cat's hindleg, leaving the cat a wretched, chickenleg resembling appendage. Nobody stopped to help the cat, for it was rush hour, and we all know that rush hour is a time of much more important things. For one, rush hour is a time when everyone is too busy to help an injured cat. Rush hour ir a time when everyone is too busy to make a short call to the police or fire department. Rush hour is a time when everyone is too busy to drop the traffic police a short notice.
After all, it was a technologically advanced society. Technologically advanced societies have much better things to do.
Mr. Cold and Sarcastic, the villan of the technologically advanced society, spotted a cat in need. He carefully crossed the road and observed the cat. The wound was dry, which indicated that the cat had been in need for quite some time. Mr. Cold and Sarcastic tried to catch the cat, but the cat hissed angrily and darted away. Mr. Cold and Sarcastic was worried, worried that some citizen of the technologically advanced society would run over the cat with a technologically advanced vehicle.
Mr. Cold and Sarcastic did not own a car, and tried to ask people for help. With his whimsical logic, he deduced that the cat had to be sent to a veternarian immediately. Few technologically advanced vehicles stopped, and the few that did looked at Mr. Cold and Sarcastic like he was an idiot. Frantically, Mr. Cold and Sarcastic asked two teenagers, who happened to be chatting on a sidewalk nearby, for help.
The first teenager looked up from his camera magazine and looked at Mr. Cold and Sarcastic the same way people looked at outlandish bumpkins or space aliens. The second teenager asked what it was Mr. Cold and Sarcastic required help for, and when he discovered it was a cat, he replied with an "oookay..." and went back to reading his magazine.
"Why won't you help?" asked Mr. Cold and Sarcastic, now exasperated. "It's a living thing!"
"Cats and dogs are out of style," said the first teenager. "They never upgrade them. Here, look at this T-707."
"...What? What's that?"
"A camera."
"Are you fucking retarded? There is a CAT with a BLOODY leg in the middle of the bloody fucking road and you're telling me about some bloody fucking CAMERA?"
"Hey, dude, no need to get all critical. I'm just saying, technology is amazing! Look what techonology can do. I mean, look at the beauty, the finesse, the art that steel, wire, and fiberglass can form."
"Okay, not to burst your bubble or anything, but a single cell in that cat is a million times more intricate, more complicated, and more fantastic than any technology known to mankind."
"What are you trying to say?"
"I'm trying to ask you to help me, fucking nerdwad."
"Nah, I don't want to get my hands dirty. Besides, it's dangerous."
Just then, the cat made it safely on to the sidewalk and Mr. Cold and Sarcastic promptly grabbed the cat in his coat. He thought about asking the two techie nerds for a quick car ride, but he decided it was a futile request. He jogged several blocks to the nearest veternarian and practically yelled out "help! help!" The vet arranged for disinfection and several days stay in an oxygenated chamber.
This is the aftermath of a cat in need.
The cat was alive, but alas...the cat was dead. The cat was dead to a technologically advanced society, a society in which those who contribute to technological advancement are as cold and unfeeling as the innovations they help crank out daily.
"Mr. Cold and Sarcastic," asked the cat, "do you think anybody else would've helped me?"
"No," said Mr. Cold and Sarcastic.
"Why do they call you what they do?"
Mr. Cold and Sarcastic smiled warmly, and the cat understood. With that, the cat fell silent, and spoke no more.
Engraved on the cat's tombstone: "Life is beautiful." This is why most citizens of a technologically advanced society should get a life.