(no subject)
jeezus, we had a rough morning, babyspike and i.
she woke up in a great mood, but when it was time to get dressed, she freaked out and started screaming. i finally got her dressed and k put her coat and boots on when she decided she didn't want to wear the coat she had on. and of course let us know by whining and screaming. nice. she kept asking for her "dora coat that gram gave it me," which, as far as i know, is a figment of her imagination. so we went to the closet and pointed out her other coat and her fleece and asked her which one she'd like to wear. she decided on the fleece, and when i put it on, changed her mind and began screaming to take it off. so i took it off and put the first coat back on her. she screamed all the way to day care and calmed down for a minute when she found out they were going to the library this morning. but then she started in with the screaming again the minute we walked into the toddler room, "no, mommy! i go home! we go home! don't go work!" the teacher usually gives her hugs and holds her until she calms down, which usually is a few minutes after i leave.
i hate mornings like that. all i could think of as i walked out the door was what a load of bullshit dr. sears was preaching with his attachment parenting. so now babyspike is two and she's fucking attached to me alright. so attached that she throws a fit every time i drop her at school. and i haven't discovered the magical cure to screaming fits. it took every ounce of strength in me this morning not to turn around in the car and scream, "shut the fuck up!" that whining just grates on every nerve. and then i feel guilty for going to work and not staying home with her. which, of course, is not an option. even if k gets a good construction job this summer, it would never be enough for me to stay home with her. plus, i really enjoy my job, and it certainly helps me to appreciate the days i do get to spend with her, so i think it's a good thing. even when i do work at home, she's always crawling all over me or in the other room destroying something valuable. so what's the point? i don't know. i've been having a difficult last few weeks; it seems like everyone else has been in the same sort of funk. maybe it would help if i stopped wallowing in self-pity and started focusing on something else.
she woke up in a great mood, but when it was time to get dressed, she freaked out and started screaming. i finally got her dressed and k put her coat and boots on when she decided she didn't want to wear the coat she had on. and of course let us know by whining and screaming. nice. she kept asking for her "dora coat that gram gave it me," which, as far as i know, is a figment of her imagination. so we went to the closet and pointed out her other coat and her fleece and asked her which one she'd like to wear. she decided on the fleece, and when i put it on, changed her mind and began screaming to take it off. so i took it off and put the first coat back on her. she screamed all the way to day care and calmed down for a minute when she found out they were going to the library this morning. but then she started in with the screaming again the minute we walked into the toddler room, "no, mommy! i go home! we go home! don't go work!" the teacher usually gives her hugs and holds her until she calms down, which usually is a few minutes after i leave.
i hate mornings like that. all i could think of as i walked out the door was what a load of bullshit dr. sears was preaching with his attachment parenting. so now babyspike is two and she's fucking attached to me alright. so attached that she throws a fit every time i drop her at school. and i haven't discovered the magical cure to screaming fits. it took every ounce of strength in me this morning not to turn around in the car and scream, "shut the fuck up!" that whining just grates on every nerve. and then i feel guilty for going to work and not staying home with her. which, of course, is not an option. even if k gets a good construction job this summer, it would never be enough for me to stay home with her. plus, i really enjoy my job, and it certainly helps me to appreciate the days i do get to spend with her, so i think it's a good thing. even when i do work at home, she's always crawling all over me or in the other room destroying something valuable. so what's the point? i don't know. i've been having a difficult last few weeks; it seems like everyone else has been in the same sort of funk. maybe it would help if i stopped wallowing in self-pity and started focusing on something else.