I'm not hungry
Lately I have been experiencing a very novel and unfamiliar sensation, which is summarized in the subject line of this post. Yes, after 6 1/2 years of breast-feeding, I'm finally having to get used to not being hungry again!
Ruthie is nursing less and less these days. Even at a time like this, when we've just gotten home from school/work, so she hasn't nursed all day...she nursed for about a minute and then announced that there was nothing in there, and cheerfully skipped off to do something else.
Lately we go through these conversations every evening, where I remind her that if she nurses during the evening she won't be able to nurse at bedtime because there won't be anything left (and it's very uncomfortable to me if she nurses "dry"). So some evenings she says "I'm not gonna wanna nursie at bedtime!" and I let her nurse and then at bedtime she throws a fit. *Roll eyes* Other evenings she pulls at my shirt and I say "Are you going to wanna nursie at bedtime?" and she stops pulling my shirt and goes away. Man, this stuff is SO much easier with a kid who can actually understand what you're saying.
Of course, we might still go on for ages like this, who knows. It's not as if she's going to wean completely tomorrow (probably). But still...well...there's emotional stuff going on for me.
And physiological stuff too. By which I mean hormones. Oh man, the hormones. There is some wacky shit that goes on when you wean, apparently. It has been the proverbial bumpy ride for a few months now. My periods are all over the map (in terms of spacing and duration), the PMS has been killer, my hair is doing that greasy coarse thing.
And of course, my waistline is expanding. But that's not so much about the hormones. That's about the whole not being hungry thing. Because it turns out to be really hard to break some habits, like the habit of eating like a horse. It turns out that when you're not nursing as much, eating like a horse is not so much of a good idea. It also turns out that (re)learning to stop eating when you aren't hungry, and to plan smaller meals to begin with, is actually pretty hard.
So I've started working on this. I'm trying to be more conscious of it. I'm trying to remember that I don't have to pack my backpack each morning with like four meals' worth of snacks. And that I don't have to bring or buy an enormous lunch. And that if I do happen to wind up with an enormous lunch, I don't have to eat it all. Or I can eat it all and then skip dinner, which brings me back to the beginning of this post. ;) I was just now standing in the kitchen, the kids having decided what they want for dinner, and it hit me that I was so totally not hungry at all (fairly hefty lunch today *blush* -- hey I said it isn't easy to adjust!) that I can probably just not have dinner tonight. Or probably I'll make some veggie to go with the kids' noodles, and I can nibble at the veggie.
Of course, then there's my after-the-kids-are-asleep nighttime chocolate indulgence. ;) Yeah, I guess I'm gonna have to work on that one too. Um, later. ;)
(Meanwhile, I only have two pairs of work-appropriate pants that really fit, which sucks. I really gotta get that belly under control. Or, uh, buy some more pants. *facepalm*)
Ruthie is nursing less and less these days. Even at a time like this, when we've just gotten home from school/work, so she hasn't nursed all day...she nursed for about a minute and then announced that there was nothing in there, and cheerfully skipped off to do something else.
Lately we go through these conversations every evening, where I remind her that if she nurses during the evening she won't be able to nurse at bedtime because there won't be anything left (and it's very uncomfortable to me if she nurses "dry"). So some evenings she says "I'm not gonna wanna nursie at bedtime!" and I let her nurse and then at bedtime she throws a fit. *Roll eyes* Other evenings she pulls at my shirt and I say "Are you going to wanna nursie at bedtime?" and she stops pulling my shirt and goes away. Man, this stuff is SO much easier with a kid who can actually understand what you're saying.
Of course, we might still go on for ages like this, who knows. It's not as if she's going to wean completely tomorrow (probably). But still...well...there's emotional stuff going on for me.
And physiological stuff too. By which I mean hormones. Oh man, the hormones. There is some wacky shit that goes on when you wean, apparently. It has been the proverbial bumpy ride for a few months now. My periods are all over the map (in terms of spacing and duration), the PMS has been killer, my hair is doing that greasy coarse thing.
And of course, my waistline is expanding. But that's not so much about the hormones. That's about the whole not being hungry thing. Because it turns out to be really hard to break some habits, like the habit of eating like a horse. It turns out that when you're not nursing as much, eating like a horse is not so much of a good idea. It also turns out that (re)learning to stop eating when you aren't hungry, and to plan smaller meals to begin with, is actually pretty hard.
So I've started working on this. I'm trying to be more conscious of it. I'm trying to remember that I don't have to pack my backpack each morning with like four meals' worth of snacks. And that I don't have to bring or buy an enormous lunch. And that if I do happen to wind up with an enormous lunch, I don't have to eat it all. Or I can eat it all and then skip dinner, which brings me back to the beginning of this post. ;) I was just now standing in the kitchen, the kids having decided what they want for dinner, and it hit me that I was so totally not hungry at all (fairly hefty lunch today *blush* -- hey I said it isn't easy to adjust!) that I can probably just not have dinner tonight. Or probably I'll make some veggie to go with the kids' noodles, and I can nibble at the veggie.
Of course, then there's my after-the-kids-are-asleep nighttime chocolate indulgence. ;) Yeah, I guess I'm gonna have to work on that one too. Um, later. ;)
(Meanwhile, I only have two pairs of work-appropriate pants that really fit, which sucks. I really gotta get that belly under control. Or, uh, buy some more pants. *facepalm*)