What's going on?!
Three couples I know and really like, all committed homeschoolers with great kids, are in the middle of breaking up. It's taking a pretty big chunk out of me and I'm surprised... I guess because I'm apprehensive due to what happened to me, and I'd hate to see anything like that happen with them (if anyone out there wants the condensed Readers-Digest version of my story, let me know and I'll post it).
It's a normal, natural thing, to move apart when the relationship has dissolved. I never thought of my marriage as "failed" but rather as "ended." And still, I'm feeling grief and loss over the ending of these three marriages.
I don't know why this has hit me so hard. I'm feeling pretty emotional about some other things, too. Some parents I know think it's OK to let their kids (in this case, the kids are under 12, in some cases WAY under 12) play a horror game that I believe is much too disturbing, possibly even for some adults, much less children. And I am feeling really judgy and angry at them for blithely tossing away their kids' innocence. They'll have decades to do crazy, scary stuff... why rush it? And especially when they are in their formative, vulnerable years? But it's not my job to police what other parents do... and I'd be extremely defensive if anyone came at me about one of MY parenting decisions like this. But but but! Studies show secondary trauma is just as damaging as if it happens in person to kids! Kids can't create those boundaries themselves! It's part of a kid's nature to blur the lines between pretend and reality! WHY does it matter so much to me that these parents are making a different choice than I am?
I don't know. And I think the grief over my friends' break-ups and my grief over my friends' kids' nightmares are somehow related. If everybody would just LISTEN TO ME, everything would be OK! (/delusion)
Bah. So. How are YOU doing? Tell me something good that's going on in your life. I will do my best to curb my judgypants and celebrate your happy things with you!
It's a normal, natural thing, to move apart when the relationship has dissolved. I never thought of my marriage as "failed" but rather as "ended." And still, I'm feeling grief and loss over the ending of these three marriages.
I don't know why this has hit me so hard. I'm feeling pretty emotional about some other things, too. Some parents I know think it's OK to let their kids (in this case, the kids are under 12, in some cases WAY under 12) play a horror game that I believe is much too disturbing, possibly even for some adults, much less children. And I am feeling really judgy and angry at them for blithely tossing away their kids' innocence. They'll have decades to do crazy, scary stuff... why rush it? And especially when they are in their formative, vulnerable years? But it's not my job to police what other parents do... and I'd be extremely defensive if anyone came at me about one of MY parenting decisions like this. But but but! Studies show secondary trauma is just as damaging as if it happens in person to kids! Kids can't create those boundaries themselves! It's part of a kid's nature to blur the lines between pretend and reality! WHY does it matter so much to me that these parents are making a different choice than I am?
I don't know. And I think the grief over my friends' break-ups and my grief over my friends' kids' nightmares are somehow related. If everybody would just LISTEN TO ME, everything would be OK! (/delusion)
Bah. So. How are YOU doing? Tell me something good that's going on in your life. I will do my best to curb my judgypants and celebrate your happy things with you!