Ugh, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. At least you have an official diagnosis now?
About the not wanting to be one of THOSE people, the thing is...ablism is real. We all want to be healthy. Unfortunately a lot of us want to be healthy and end up kind of resenting people who aren't and thinking "get over yourself!" Being sick is seen as sort of embarrassing! And I think a lot of abled people kind of go "GAWD, why are they making such a big DEAL out of it" about sick/disabled people in the same way that men can do to women or white people can do to black people. I guess what I'm saying is that I think you are a considerate and generous person and are not likely to leap to the other side and demand that fibro be the center of everyone's life....but yo, chronic pain changes everything. It demands accomodation. If that's what you have, then life really does have to be shaped around it. Sucks but ignoring it won't suck any less. Pain is really powerful. It is reasonable to pay attention to it. It is a force in our lives. The people who care about us have to know about it. It's not "boring".
Thanks. I was really hesitant to bring that up at all (and I think I talked about how my hesitation probably led to me avoiding a dx at all for nigh onto these last ten years). I want to believe that there has to be a way to work with the world around me to find accommodations as needed without sliding into whiny territory. Can I develop compassion for those who are having such a hard time that they are difficult to be around, while at the same time trying hard not to be difficult myself? Is that the same as spouting size-acceptance ideas while at the same time loathing my own reflection? I've been struggling with this, you betcha...
Another thing I've noticed... I don't hurt or struggle any more physically since the dx than I did before, but several people have gone out of their way to be extra gentle and kind to me after I wrote about it here. It's kind of nice, in a way, but also... why does attaching a name to the things that have been bothering me for ages suddenly cause a response? Is it that my experience has been validated by a Real Medical Professional? Is it that I've been suffering in silence? (Not hardly...)
About the not wanting to be one of THOSE people, the thing is...ablism is real. We all want to be healthy. Unfortunately a lot of us want to be healthy and end up kind of resenting people who aren't and thinking "get over yourself!" Being sick is seen as sort of embarrassing! And I think a lot of abled people kind of go "GAWD, why are they making such a big DEAL out of it" about sick/disabled people in the same way that men can do to women or white people can do to black people. I guess what I'm saying is that I think you are a considerate and generous person and are not likely to leap to the other side and demand that fibro be the center of everyone's life....but yo, chronic pain changes everything. It demands accomodation. If that's what you have, then life really does have to be shaped around it. Sucks but ignoring it won't suck any less. Pain is really powerful. It is reasonable to pay attention to it. It is a force in our lives. The people who care about us have to know about it. It's not "boring".
*hugs* *internet hugs don't hurt!*
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Another thing I've noticed... I don't hurt or struggle any more physically since the dx than I did before, but several people have gone out of their way to be extra gentle and kind to me after I wrote about it here. It's kind of nice, in a way, but also... why does attaching a name to the things that have been bothering me for ages suddenly cause a response? Is it that my experience has been validated by a Real Medical Professional? Is it that I've been suffering in silence? (Not hardly...)
I dunno. Thinky stuff.
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