Animal-related guilt

[mamagotcha]

When I got Bill, I also got his two cats (littermates, about a year old). I've never been a cat person, but we seemed to reach a place of co-existence. When they had problems, I did research to figure out how to fix them. I don't think of them as my cats, but they made Bill happy so I did what I could to keep them healthy and content

Comments

[mamagotcha]

Caring for him was "inconvenient" for many months, for YEARS, before that, Julia. There were many days that I was ready to cancel the trip because I knew caring for him was more than Bill or Clay could easily deal with; both of them were planning to take turns coming home in the middle of the day to help him... Bill was even looking at rearranging his teaching schedule to be able to do it, and we had hired someone to come on the days neither could be here. He could not get in or out of a car on his own, and it took two adults to get him in, and he freaked out each time we did it; I could not bring him with me like I'd done for other trips. Bill and Clay had both made the commitment to be there for Wiley long before I made the decision to go on the road trip. I would not have planned the trip if I hadn't known he would have been cared for while I was gone.

Believe me, you cannot say anything to make me feel any worse than I already do about that day. But about this, you are WRONG. We did not make the choice to euthanize based on the timing of the trip. I had made and cancelled the euthanasia appointment several times over the last few months. We did it because we... Bill and Clay and me... all felt it was the right time for Wiley.

I believe we tried to include both you and Cordell in the decision-making process, and you both made it clear you did not want to be part of it. If you chose then not to participate, and left the matter in our hands, the please trust that we did our very best for him. It hardly seems fair that you did not help with the decision and then criticize us for it. That "Mhm" seems like a glib dismissal of all our agony and efforts, and to be honest, I resent it.

[jedusor]

If you want to stage a pissing contest about who's feeling more resentful here, we can do that. It won't be productive in any way, but I've got enough resentment pent up about this that I am entirely willing to spend some emotional goodwill and do some damage to our relationship in order to show you up in the resentment department, and I bet my anger-based resentment will stomp the hell out of your guilt-based resentment in bare-hands combat. I'm not doing it in a public forum, though. Talk to me privately if you really want to have this blowout.