sometimes i wonder: mam1s0s1ccw1tit

mam1s0s1ccw1tit

sometimes i wonder

Apr 18, 2005 14:10

Sometimes i wonder wats really going on in mii life its kind hard wen u wake up in the morning and you realise that you cant trust anyone anymore... its like u dont know who you can and cant trust... so many people are 2 faced.. and so many people talk about you behind your back and say misleading things to others which starts bullshit and its just becoming sooo stressing.... i dont know what i should say or do or how to handle certain situations... im too soft

i let ppl walk all over me because i dont want to upset people or loose friends or cause drama.. the ppl i love and hold close to me are the ppl that do it.. and maybe they dont realise, or maybe im too naive to notice that they do it because they know that they can.... this morning me n my bOo had a talk and i guess you can see hes right.... and i gotta go back to being the way things use to be beause right now my guards are down too far and i can say honestly he knows me betta then anyone ( besides keezy pOoh ) and ALOT of ppl may or may not understand our relationship and thats fine.. all i can say is its realer then most.. more mature then most.. and stronger then most because we neva give up.. we fight and we argue and we bitch and we make it work...

im steadily trying to maintain my skoo right now which is a bitch cuz mesa college is crazee style i start in the fall but things is going good so i may start late summa if they let me... but i walk this summa so you know das wassup hopefully my brother ( bookii) will make it to mii graduation along wiff me baby and bess friend if they love mee!! <33 and this whole moving thing... things are planned out its just getting there and making sure that everyone in the equation is gon be up on things... but i mean if somebody decides they not in on it . or some other shit comes up then so be it... we just need to decide cuz next year aint gone wait and the only thing i can say is i gotta job and im done bullshitten.. im not gon be on my ass wen it comes time to get real with shit.... im tiyerd of going out and kicken it and shit wasten my money on un neccessary shit and bullshitten my days away.... its about my MONEY now and i shoulda had it that way along time ago but im learning as i grow.... yeah they say life is short and enjoy it while you can and ill enjoy it my way.... i guess erryone grows out of it in they own time and im growing out of it now wen certain pichas come into play u figga stuff out alot easier... and now its gotta be about me and gettin ME togetha.. not tryna help erryone else.... hopefully i can do it..

2 my brudder: i love you... u know that... dearly.... more then i say alot of the time and i know i act a bitch wen u make me mad and laugh at me and make fun of me but you know how i am.... in response to all of the things weve talked about.. i stick to what i said before.. do what you gotta do for you ... because i love ya.. and id never want to see you hurt.. if you gon do it.. do it BIG and make things happen.. anyway u look at it.. u know i got chu ( dizz foe yooh.. i know i neva write bout chu and its bout times )

2 my step bro: thank you.. wen i called you this mornin and u reassured me even tho i barely call you at all and even tho i dont act like i love or appreciate you i do.. i know alot of my ppl dont know who you are but i do and i thank you from the bottom or my heart for being there wen i call and for telling me i could count on you because family would neva turn they back on mii.... god its crazee how we think alike and i never gave you the chance to be a big part of my life.. i always wanted to but i was scared.... i know now that i cant always turn to friends and i gots family to turn to!! i love you big brudder!!

picha tymez: