This is not fiction.
So.
I left the UWM union parking lot with very little gas in my car, so I started down Locust Ave to go to the gas station on 3rd and Locust. 3rd and Locust is about a mile from where my car decided to run out of gas. Had to walk the rest of the way. Whatever, fine, could use the exercise. Bought a gas can, filled it. Was offered a ride by a kind older gentleman, which I turned down since I was only about a mile from my car and it was nice out.
A block away from the gas station, it starts raining.
So, I tromp through the rain, get back to my car. Once I get back, I come to find out that the gas can - which should have a nozzle - does not, indeed, have a nozzle. Which is doubly bad when dealing with a car, since cars have a trap door at the mouth of the gas tank that has to be pushed open by...a nozzle.
Just then, I get a major case of diarrhea.
So I hightail it to the woods behind the house I've parked in front of and use nature as God intended it. Once I get back to the car, I review the contents of my toolbag and realize I have a flashlight which I could try to use as a nozzle.
It's too short - can't reach the trap door.
And it's too wide for the mouth, anyway. But as luck would have it - I have a *second* flashlight, which is thin enough to push open the trap door (but still too short by itself to reach the trap door). So I empty both flashlights of their bulbs and batteries and such, and duct tape them together, end-to-end. Voila - instant gas nozzle.
And finally, after an hour and fifteen minutes, get enough gas in my car to go to the gas station.
I left the UWM union parking lot with very little gas in my car, so I started down Locust Ave to go to the gas station on 3rd and Locust. 3rd and Locust is about a mile from where my car decided to run out of gas. Had to walk the rest of the way. Whatever, fine, could use the exercise. Bought a gas can, filled it. Was offered a ride by a kind older gentleman, which I turned down since I was only about a mile from my car and it was nice out.
A block away from the gas station, it starts raining.
So, I tromp through the rain, get back to my car. Once I get back, I come to find out that the gas can - which should have a nozzle - does not, indeed, have a nozzle. Which is doubly bad when dealing with a car, since cars have a trap door at the mouth of the gas tank that has to be pushed open by...a nozzle.
Just then, I get a major case of diarrhea.
So I hightail it to the woods behind the house I've parked in front of and use nature as God intended it. Once I get back to the car, I review the contents of my toolbag and realize I have a flashlight which I could try to use as a nozzle.
It's too short - can't reach the trap door.
And it's too wide for the mouth, anyway. But as luck would have it - I have a *second* flashlight, which is thin enough to push open the trap door (but still too short by itself to reach the trap door). So I empty both flashlights of their bulbs and batteries and such, and duct tape them together, end-to-end. Voila - instant gas nozzle.
And finally, after an hour and fifteen minutes, get enough gas in my car to go to the gas station.