too.many.wasted.words.
To live with guilt is to wreak of regret by allowing better paths to fall beneath someone else’s feet. The havoc that this guilt, the dispersing of self loath creates inside is too much for one soul to bear, too much for one mind to know. With your blue eyes and your perfect smile you created this havoc and lived in it too. We swam naked in this stream of emotions from the past curving their limbs to rekindle the fire that once burned inside of you. For me..
Giving into this notion that people can’t change drives you to exchange in minute clauses. You break the switch so there is no on or off anymore, just a stagnant waver over existence. These emotions can’t exist, they’re not allowed to exist. You delicately place them in the back where you store shameful pleasures. Shaking your head of these discrepancies you hope someday to have it back, just for an instant. This havoc created is dimmed but the sentiment endowed in the placement of a past barely existing in your eyes brings hope. Hope for re-ignition..
Wreaking with the scent of a displeasing doubt you move on towards a future more suited for you. To not look back it takes everything so you can’t find the breath to whisper an “I love you”. We are holding each other yet we both realize we never even got close, the havoc is raging and we are slaves to conformity. Feelings pushed into black closets labeled in a box “things to forget”. With written words we conceal our true cravings but the letters are never sent. This is one more letter; one more than necessary. Glossing the paper are tears unwept and released only to show you that I let go. One extra letter for a civil goodbye, one extra letter for a delicate embrace of things more natural yet less suited. Moving to turn off the switch, it’s broken; the stagnant waver remains while our bodies do not. Allowing ourselves to forget with a lingering reminder of havoc past due for re-ignition.
living with guilt..
wreaking of regret..
for allowing better paths to fall beneath someone else’s feet..