Back from the Edge of the Abyss

[malruniel11]

Bookcases are happiness.  This, I have decided to be my truth.  I know it's been a while since I wrote anything of substance, so here's a little bit.  I really want to get back in the habit, but now that I have all the time in the world, I've struggled with depression, and so day after day goes by with a blank Post Entry form and no words.  But,

Comments

[malruniel11]

The funny thing is that it's so true! Bookcases are my love language!

My first one was really a metal garage or workshop bench my dad gave me and I washed up. Then he came home with a filthy, wooden, pink paint peeling one that I washed up and hope to one day strip the paint off of and make nice. At 8 years old, he got me and my brother each a 4 shelf particle board entertainment center. When I was 16, he made me one with my grandpa before grandpa died. It's a small 2 shelf thing, but it was made by my daddy. Most recently he bought me a HUGE solid oak entertainment center to use as a bookcase, of course he waited until I was out of the house to buy it for me and as I've been a live-in nanny until now, I've not had a place of my own to put it, so it's in my room at my parents' in Michigan. The problem is that I live in Oklahoma.

But, as you can see, my Dad knows what will make me happy. We've never had the money to do a whole lot more than get by, but even though he didn't know how to cater to my official love language of quality time, he did understand my love language of bookcases.

It's kind of funny to me to realize that the only man that I've ever really allowed to spend money on my is my dad. *files odd fact away for later perusal*

(Can you tell I miss my dad? This daddy's girl didn't know she was a daddy's girl until she moved away from home.)

Moment's up!

[malruniel11]

I didn't used to be a daddy's girl. We fought like crazy when I was growing up, or at least once I hit the preteen/teen years. I was never rebellious or a trouble maker, and I took care of the house and the family, but my dad and I did NOT get along. We think it was probably because he didn't know what to do with a teenage girl. A little girl he could handle, but someone becoming a woman was beyond his ken. He just didn't know what was appropriate, what to say, even how to hug someone who suddenly had boobs! So he alienated me without meaning to. Thankfully that somehow fixed itself when I moved out for college. Now we have a good relationship. My mom and I on the other hand... that's a drama for another year.

Can you tell I'm in a sharing mood today? lol Sorry for continuous WALL O'TEXTing.

[malruniel11]

Yay insomnia! It's yet another thing we share! See! We knew there had to be better things!

I'm glad your mom had the strength to leave your birth father instead of staying in an abusive relationship. Which, for God knows what reason, reminds me that I need scotch tape. My mind, she's a jumper. I know there's logic somewhere, but I'm not seeing it right now. Oh!! OH!! WAIT! I got it! She didn't stick around, and tape it be sticky. *headdesk* Oh brain...

[malruniel11]

I've found that I sleep much better and need fewer hours of sleep when I sleep while the sun's high. Sadly, the "real world" doesn't think that's ok. I'd love to get a job that's over night. Hell, I'd love to have a job. Job hunting sucks. Every time I don't have a reason to be up in the morning, my body schedule naturally reverts to nocturnal or I deal with insomnia if my schedule won't let me be nocturnal.

I don't need tape, I have sausage and toaster waffles with peanut butter and jelly! Who needs tape when you have those?