In response to my last entry

[malorina]

I think a lot of people would agree with me that the purpose of having a journal is to write your thoughts and stuff that's going on in your life. OK, so I did write some nasty stuff about my friends in my last entry. And I read over it and found out that I still think everything is correct except like 2 things. I really don't know why they're making such a big deal out of it. It's not like all of them like each other All the Time Natalie is the funnest person to be with, whether I'm in the mood to be hyper like her or not. She seems to be hyper all the time and I made it seem like that's bad but it's not All the time. Melissa is a good friend too and I made it seem like I hate her which is not true. OK well I'm not going to go and say how great they are. B/c I already know. Yes they are quite pissed at me for typing that but hell if I knew they were going to read it I would have thought twice about doing it. I hope they forgive me. B/c I have always forgiven them and I still think a lot of what I said was right. It was mean, but that was something that needed to be said and I can't help if they don't like what they heard. They don't even care what they do to me. Like I wrote that a few days ago and yesterday me and Nat spent the whole day together like normal, so obviously I didn't mean that what I typed is what I think all the time. And if they don't forgive me there's really nothing I can do, I didn't even cry when I was chatting with them. I can be strong. I just wish I could make them realize that there are two sides to every story. I re-read the entry again, and all I was thinking was that if this was one of them typing, I would feel so sorry for making them feel this way for so long. But all they felt was pissed off. It's not like a lot of people read it. Maybe 5 at the MOST. OK so if they read this too - Katie - yes, I was mad at you for telling everyone that big secret. But that was not something that anyone needed to know about! you know it is! BUT I forgave you, and you are still the craziest funniest person I know and I will miss you so much if you never talk to me again, come on forgive me... Melissa - ok I do owe you the biggest apology. That was very very mean of me to say. I'm not even going to try to justify it b/c I can't. You have definately been a better friend since our talk. I just hope we can stay friends... Nat- i don't know. it kind of hurts that you didn't just talk to me on the internet instead of cuss me out. Obviously I care about ALL 3 of you or else I would just say fuck it, I don't care if you hate me. BUT I CARE SOOOOO MUCH. Now I'm thinking, in art, how much I would hate it if Katie moved up and sat with Emily and no one was there to make fun of Ms. Zellar with. And I'm thinking how wonderful this past swim season was b/c my bestest buddy Natalie was there through it all, the good times and the bad times, in sickness and in health, with Shrek and the West M hotties. I really screwed things up with Mel. She was trying to be nice and I go and stab her in the back.
I would also like to say this....I didn't lie when I typed that. That's what I was feeling at THAT time. And Natalie obviously you are mad but why did you say that you're sorry for always mentioning the dick thing and then go and do it again tonight? This is part of what I'm talking about here. All of you think about all the times you have made fun of me or something and I've forgiven you. Now I would like to be mature about all of this and be friends again. Friends argue, they say shit they don't mean. Because we are FRIENDS I think we can overcome this. God knows you guys are worth more to me than ruining a friendship if I was in your situation. I'm not going to bend over backwards to get you people to like me again. I'm not. You know how I feel now. You can decide for yourselves what to do now but I still like you. Come on I know there's things about me you all can't stand. It's not a bad thing. And I don't take it all back either. I think we're old enough now to get over things, don't you? K I think that's enough. Byes!!!
oh yeah, CONGRATS ON YOUR PROM DATE KATIE!! Nat I am still workin on yours whether u like it or not :)
BoTTom LinE: I'm soRRy buT The TRutH hUrTs!