Twitterpated is a pretty awesome word, Ev.
I left my house around 1:30 and drove straight up to Tim's. Probably broke a speed limit or two getting there, but that's neither here nor there. Excited, thrilled, incredibly happy, a tad nervous and dying to see him again.
The harder I tried not to grin like a fool, the more I did so. I'm walking up to his house, thinking of that first view I'm going to get of him, walking through his door, coming toward me, and I'm just smiling in that daze, when I all of a sudden hear a voice from beyond his front door and stop in my tracks. He was lounging on a seat in his front yard, looking at me walking up to his house like the happy dork I was (and am). Totally snuck up on me. And I told him so and he got up and we hugged and that was the start of our perfect day. It was a good hug, of course. Yes, good.
We started to walk and he told me he had surprise plans, that he had just made on a whim that day, with his friend, Jesse. I resisted the urge to ask him what they were right then. We weren't touching eachother at all, yet. That first contact, when I see him again, I get so nervous about it. Tim's so much better than me about taking the intiative on these things (asking me out, putting his arm around me in the movie theater). Initiative is our word of the day, by the way.
Anyway, we got in my car and drove over to the park to park it somewhere. Then we just started walking. He almost immediately decided to just tell me what the plans were, because otherwise he was going to keep talking about it and hinting at it. Jesse and he had decided to take me and Jesse's pseudo-girlfriend up to this mountain with trails and an awesome viewing tower up at the top. To watch the sunset and just check the place out. Yeah, that's right. Second date, watching a sunset with Tim's arm around me. And the night just got better from there.
But, I digress. So, he told me our plans and then I decided to actually take some initiative. I told him that it's relatively easy to say that we're both going to make ourselves get over the nerves of it all and just hold hands or do anything of that sort, but we didn't seem to be applying that to our actual time together. He immediately put his hand out and I grabbed on. It was clumsy but then we found the comfy way of doing it and never really stopped until I had to leave. Fingers linked together, arms touching, random hip checks as we walked. Or not so random hip checks as we walked. I do just love it when a guy pushes me around.
And we talked a lot and we walked a lot, "killing time" before we had to leave for Jesse's place and the sunset, but not really killing time because I was barely thinking of anything but him when I was with him. And I didn't want to think about time, anyway.
It was a really amazing feeling, to be walking on this beautiful day, with this beautiful person somehow holding onto my hand, somehow wanting to enjoy it with me as much as I wanted to with him. And I loved that every person that drove by or walked by saw us and noted us and that it was something I could share with all of them. This tangible happiness and love and comfort.
But not really share at all. [face_hoards]
Anyway, after a long time of that, we got back to my car and Tim decided that he was going to climb into the front seat, from the back. This was adorable to watch. And then we drove to a McDonalds to use a payphone, and this is when the wacky car hilarity ensued. Out of habit, he tried to open the passenger door to get out, instead of climbing through the driver's side. The passenger door is very very broken. But it opened this time! [face_shocked]
Of course, then it wouldn't close. Tee hee.
We spent a good amount of time trying to fix that and finally Tim did some sort of magic with the inside of the door (which is in the process of separating from the outside of the door :| ) and the door ajar light went off. Hoorah!
And before all of this, he used McDonald's payphone and called Jesse. We made plans to leave at 6:30 for Jesse's house and so, still had about an hour and a half before that. So, we went back to the park, now known as our Base of Operations (BOO). We sat on a park bunch and watched people and Tim had his arm around me and yes, we talked even more and it was, yet again, perfect. And the old men that kept coming into the park were totally trying to smackdown Tim, to get me. But he held his own. [face_love]
And there was a kid with a bike who kept flaunting his mad bike skillz, to Tim's dismay. But it was quickly decided that Tim could outrun the boy on his bike or on foot, and his dignity remained intact. ;)
Oh, and Emiley suck cock.
The drive up to Jesse's house was fairly uneventful. But I had Tim next to me in the car, so, I was pretty content. We ran into one tiny problem where the slight left we were supposed to take was actually a very sharp left, but that turned out okay and we got to Jesse's house without getting lost once. Yay!
Jesse is hilarious and has more energy than anyone I know or probably ever will know. He plays every kind of sport, he runs around like a maniac, roughhouses with his little brother, and just does generally wacky things. It was a lot of fun just waiting for his pseudo-girlfriend to show up. And we went inside and I met his parents and Jesse gave me a heart-shaped bread/muffin type thing to give to Tim. So, I successfully got Tim to eat and professed my love with baked goods, at the same time. Score!
Oh! And it was hilarious. I was eating my own heart-shaped muffin when I put a piece of it on the counter, to pick up something I had dropped. I threw what I had dropped away and as I was walking back to my piece on the counter, Jesse went over there, popped it in his mouth and went on his merry way. I started cracking up. "You just ate my food!" He looks at me, confused and I explained what happened and everyone starts laughing. He started to apologize, saying he sometimes just leaves little pieces of food lying around to eat for later (joking, I'm ALMOST certain. hehe) and thought it must be his. It was great.
And with his little brother around, we had to Saturday ourselves a lot. Which was fun.
Anyway, Allie (Jesse's pseudo-girlfriend, which I can now finally stop typing out every time) finally showed up and she was all sweaty from a run, but none of us cared so she stopped apologizing, and we got into Jesse's car and took off. Allie was a lot like me in that she giggled a lot and had a great sense of humor. But she was more aggressive than I am and stunningly pretty. I couldn't stop looking at her teeth, actually. They were perfect and her smile was perfect.
She was extremely nice and we all got along really well, pretty quickly. In the car ride the runners kept talking about the roads we passed and just how awesome they are. Me: "Uh, yeah, that's a beautiful road, there. Whoo!" And then we somehow got onto the subject of frogs and the retarded quacking sound they make. Jesse swears the breed of frogs he lives around make a retarded quacking sound, and do not croak like the rest of the car was insisting.
And wacky fun kept ensuing with these awesome, huge sunglasses and a fisherman's hat that everyone kept trying on. And I decided that I hate seatbelts and sitting so far away from Tim, in the back seat.
Oh! And Jesse had a Red Sox hat that Tim kept bashing on (he literally stepped on it and kicked it, when we were in Jesse's yard waiting for Allie. Hehe) and Allie almost lost, when she threatened to let it go out the window.
And then we got to the mountain and drove up to the top (too late for hiking that day) and parked. There's a small walkway up to the viewing tower but before that, to really set the mood for the sunset, there's this hideous brown building with barbed wire fencing around it. Incredibly romantic. ^_^
And then I saw the infamous rock with Poop spraypainted on it. And we all stood on it and proclaimed that we were standing in poop.
There was a viewing tower with a few flights of stairs and we climbed up that and the view was incredible. Tim and I settled against one of the railings, he put his arm around me (and I was still a bit clumsy about this stuff at this point and not sure what to do with my own arms, so I eventually put one of mine around him as well. I'm still learning, but that's okay.) and we just soaked it all in. Trees as far as you could see, with countless layers of landscape and colors. The closest trees this brilliant, vivid green, with their top most branches swaying in the wind. And then the colors getting foggier and duller as they went out, until it all ran together like pastels, like some sort of abstract painting. Or a mirage. And the sun was this bright orange-red ball, sinking slowly behind clouds and landscapes we couldn't make out from such a distance.
It was gorgeous. Tim and I definitely plan to go back there, on our own, and just wander around trails in the afternoon and then watch another sunset. It's a fantastic place.
On the carride home, Tim and I held hands across the back seat, so I didn't hate seatbelts so much after that. And I said something that made Jesse say "I like the way you think" and that was pretty terrifying. ^_^
Oh! And the raunchy joke of the day. After Jesse said that and I said "I'm not sure I like that .. Jesse agreeing with me." Tim said he would perform an exorcism on me and Jesse got mock offended "Hey now ... " and I said, in a suggestive manner, "You don't know how Tim performs his exorcisms ... " or something to that effect. [face_mindinthegutter]
And the icing on that joke was Jesse then saying "Saturday!" Tim and I both laughed pretty hard at that, and Allie just looked confused. We love the inside jokes.
Which is funny, cause that particular joke is one I wasn't even in on when it was made, but just pretend to know all about now. :p
Back at Jesse's house, they both let me hug them goodbye (Allie offered the handshake first and then I said I had to hug and she was really happy, because she also loves to hug and just offers the handshake out of respect for other people - screw respect, I say ;) ) and Allie and I also did the man hug and other macho things, because that's some funny shit, and we all said our goodbyes and drove off.
We returned to our BOO, even though it was now after dark and the park was "closed", and snuggled on one of the benches near the side of the park, under a great tree. Tim had his arm around me and I put my head on his shoulder and we held hands and it was the most peaceful moment of my life. Moments. It stretched on for a very long time, just pockets of talking and silence and this comfort that stretched over all of it.
There were some potheads and loud teens walking through once in a while but other than that, we were pretty alone. The tennis courts had some people playing for a while, but I hardly noticed them. And then Tim got the best idea ever. He wanted to lay down on the grass and look up at the stars. So, we got up and decided to walk over to the middle of the football field, because that had the best grass.
Course, it also had the sprinklers turning on in various parts of the field, on timers. Luckily, I have no story about how the sprinklers all of a sudden turned on by us, Tim happening to be sitting right on one of them, so that he jumped up and ran away, while I just sat there getting drenched and laughing hysterically.
But we talked about how funny that would be. :p
So, yeah, we just lay there on the grass, right next to eachother, holding hands and looking up at the sky and talking. We said a lot of things. Tim asked me if he could kiss me later, afraid that if he didn't bring it up now, he'd lose the nerve. Which is good, because I would never have the nerve [face_wimp] and I said yes, of course.
And it's just ... that entire time on the field, I won't bother trying to reproduce it here. And there are certain things that I just don't want to share with anyone else but Tim. Certain things we said and just that incredible feeling of being completely content and of everything being just as it should be.
Then we were both cold, because it was getting cold and the grass was really cold, so we walked back to the bench. Where we sat holding hands and not saying anything. After a while, I said "I feel like we're both waiting for something"
"Aren't we?"
"Yes."
Gah. But I was so nervous. The whole kissing thing ... I'm not very good at it and I wanted to be so good for him. He kept staring at me and I kept avoiding his glance, terrified. Seriously, scared out of my mind. But he kept looking, so I finally looked back up at him and he kissed me. And then I kissed him again.
But I feel awful because I immediately said "horrible" because I felt like I was horrible. And clumsy. And just .. bleh. I LOVED kissing Tim. Because it was Tim and I got to put my hand on his face and touch Tim. And that's just .. how it is. But I just ... kissing just makes me incredibly nervous and I'm certain I'm no good at it.
The good thing, though, is that we got the first one out of the way. A lot of firsts out of the way, at this point, actually. And now we can just practice until we're both perfect at kissing. :p
I'm still sort of embarrassed about it and I just keep thinking about it and my stomach sinks, because I really wanted to be perfect, because the rest of the night was so perfect, but Tim said this:
"I think we'll start simple and build up as we feel more comfortable. take it in stages. you know? as with everything we've done, it seems."
and he's right and it made me feel slightly better about it and really, it was just a kiss. Not the end of the world if it's not perfect, right? Right. [face_sortofconvinced]
And anyway, as far as I'm concerned, the night was perfect. Unfortunately, a little bit after our kiss and just more sitting on the bench, together, I had to drive him home and leave. We hugged, said our goodbyes and that was that.
Oh, actually, we had some more dumb fun with the passenger door. He opened it (again! the door that doesn't open, supposedly, and he opened it twice!) and we thought it wasn't closing again cause the door ajar light was on. Then I looked over at the driver's side door, standing open and we both stopped trying desperately to close the passenger door. I closed the driver's side, the door ajar light went off and we both started laughing at our combined ditziness.
Anyway, now I have these memories to tide me over until I get to see him again. Actually, I will have the memory of that day forever, as vivid as it was yesterday, in 20 more years and 20 after that. I'm sure of it.
The harder I tried not to grin like a fool, the more I did so. I'm walking up to his house, thinking of that first view I'm going to get of him, walking through his door, coming toward me, and I'm just smiling in that daze, when I all of a sudden hear a voice from beyond his front door and stop in my tracks. He was lounging on a seat in his front yard, looking at me walking up to his house like the happy dork I was (and am). Totally snuck up on me. And I told him so and he got up and we hugged and that was the start of our perfect day. It was a good hug, of course. Yes, good.
We started to walk and he told me he had surprise plans, that he had just made on a whim that day, with his friend, Jesse. I resisted the urge to ask him what they were right then. We weren't touching eachother at all, yet. That first contact, when I see him again, I get so nervous about it. Tim's so much better than me about taking the intiative on these things (asking me out, putting his arm around me in the movie theater). Initiative is our word of the day, by the way.
Anyway, we got in my car and drove over to the park to park it somewhere. Then we just started walking. He almost immediately decided to just tell me what the plans were, because otherwise he was going to keep talking about it and hinting at it. Jesse and he had decided to take me and Jesse's pseudo-girlfriend up to this mountain with trails and an awesome viewing tower up at the top. To watch the sunset and just check the place out. Yeah, that's right. Second date, watching a sunset with Tim's arm around me. And the night just got better from there.
But, I digress. So, he told me our plans and then I decided to actually take some initiative. I told him that it's relatively easy to say that we're both going to make ourselves get over the nerves of it all and just hold hands or do anything of that sort, but we didn't seem to be applying that to our actual time together. He immediately put his hand out and I grabbed on. It was clumsy but then we found the comfy way of doing it and never really stopped until I had to leave. Fingers linked together, arms touching, random hip checks as we walked. Or not so random hip checks as we walked. I do just love it when a guy pushes me around.
And we talked a lot and we walked a lot, "killing time" before we had to leave for Jesse's place and the sunset, but not really killing time because I was barely thinking of anything but him when I was with him. And I didn't want to think about time, anyway.
It was a really amazing feeling, to be walking on this beautiful day, with this beautiful person somehow holding onto my hand, somehow wanting to enjoy it with me as much as I wanted to with him. And I loved that every person that drove by or walked by saw us and noted us and that it was something I could share with all of them. This tangible happiness and love and comfort.
But not really share at all. [face_hoards]
Anyway, after a long time of that, we got back to my car and Tim decided that he was going to climb into the front seat, from the back. This was adorable to watch. And then we drove to a McDonalds to use a payphone, and this is when the wacky car hilarity ensued. Out of habit, he tried to open the passenger door to get out, instead of climbing through the driver's side. The passenger door is very very broken. But it opened this time! [face_shocked]
Of course, then it wouldn't close. Tee hee.
We spent a good amount of time trying to fix that and finally Tim did some sort of magic with the inside of the door (which is in the process of separating from the outside of the door :| ) and the door ajar light went off. Hoorah!
And before all of this, he used McDonald's payphone and called Jesse. We made plans to leave at 6:30 for Jesse's house and so, still had about an hour and a half before that. So, we went back to the park, now known as our Base of Operations (BOO). We sat on a park bunch and watched people and Tim had his arm around me and yes, we talked even more and it was, yet again, perfect. And the old men that kept coming into the park were totally trying to smackdown Tim, to get me. But he held his own. [face_love]
And there was a kid with a bike who kept flaunting his mad bike skillz, to Tim's dismay. But it was quickly decided that Tim could outrun the boy on his bike or on foot, and his dignity remained intact. ;)
Oh, and Emiley suck cock.
The drive up to Jesse's house was fairly uneventful. But I had Tim next to me in the car, so, I was pretty content. We ran into one tiny problem where the slight left we were supposed to take was actually a very sharp left, but that turned out okay and we got to Jesse's house without getting lost once. Yay!
Jesse is hilarious and has more energy than anyone I know or probably ever will know. He plays every kind of sport, he runs around like a maniac, roughhouses with his little brother, and just does generally wacky things. It was a lot of fun just waiting for his pseudo-girlfriend to show up. And we went inside and I met his parents and Jesse gave me a heart-shaped bread/muffin type thing to give to Tim. So, I successfully got Tim to eat and professed my love with baked goods, at the same time. Score!
Oh! And it was hilarious. I was eating my own heart-shaped muffin when I put a piece of it on the counter, to pick up something I had dropped. I threw what I had dropped away and as I was walking back to my piece on the counter, Jesse went over there, popped it in his mouth and went on his merry way. I started cracking up. "You just ate my food!" He looks at me, confused and I explained what happened and everyone starts laughing. He started to apologize, saying he sometimes just leaves little pieces of food lying around to eat for later (joking, I'm ALMOST certain. hehe) and thought it must be his. It was great.
And with his little brother around, we had to Saturday ourselves a lot. Which was fun.
Anyway, Allie (Jesse's pseudo-girlfriend, which I can now finally stop typing out every time) finally showed up and she was all sweaty from a run, but none of us cared so she stopped apologizing, and we got into Jesse's car and took off. Allie was a lot like me in that she giggled a lot and had a great sense of humor. But she was more aggressive than I am and stunningly pretty. I couldn't stop looking at her teeth, actually. They were perfect and her smile was perfect.
She was extremely nice and we all got along really well, pretty quickly. In the car ride the runners kept talking about the roads we passed and just how awesome they are. Me: "Uh, yeah, that's a beautiful road, there. Whoo!" And then we somehow got onto the subject of frogs and the retarded quacking sound they make. Jesse swears the breed of frogs he lives around make a retarded quacking sound, and do not croak like the rest of the car was insisting.
And wacky fun kept ensuing with these awesome, huge sunglasses and a fisherman's hat that everyone kept trying on. And I decided that I hate seatbelts and sitting so far away from Tim, in the back seat.
Oh! And Jesse had a Red Sox hat that Tim kept bashing on (he literally stepped on it and kicked it, when we were in Jesse's yard waiting for Allie. Hehe) and Allie almost lost, when she threatened to let it go out the window.
And then we got to the mountain and drove up to the top (too late for hiking that day) and parked. There's a small walkway up to the viewing tower but before that, to really set the mood for the sunset, there's this hideous brown building with barbed wire fencing around it. Incredibly romantic. ^_^
And then I saw the infamous rock with Poop spraypainted on it. And we all stood on it and proclaimed that we were standing in poop.
There was a viewing tower with a few flights of stairs and we climbed up that and the view was incredible. Tim and I settled against one of the railings, he put his arm around me (and I was still a bit clumsy about this stuff at this point and not sure what to do with my own arms, so I eventually put one of mine around him as well. I'm still learning, but that's okay.) and we just soaked it all in. Trees as far as you could see, with countless layers of landscape and colors. The closest trees this brilliant, vivid green, with their top most branches swaying in the wind. And then the colors getting foggier and duller as they went out, until it all ran together like pastels, like some sort of abstract painting. Or a mirage. And the sun was this bright orange-red ball, sinking slowly behind clouds and landscapes we couldn't make out from such a distance.
It was gorgeous. Tim and I definitely plan to go back there, on our own, and just wander around trails in the afternoon and then watch another sunset. It's a fantastic place.
On the carride home, Tim and I held hands across the back seat, so I didn't hate seatbelts so much after that. And I said something that made Jesse say "I like the way you think" and that was pretty terrifying. ^_^
Oh! And the raunchy joke of the day. After Jesse said that and I said "I'm not sure I like that .. Jesse agreeing with me." Tim said he would perform an exorcism on me and Jesse got mock offended "Hey now ... " and I said, in a suggestive manner, "You don't know how Tim performs his exorcisms ... " or something to that effect. [face_mindinthegutter]
And the icing on that joke was Jesse then saying "Saturday!" Tim and I both laughed pretty hard at that, and Allie just looked confused. We love the inside jokes.
Which is funny, cause that particular joke is one I wasn't even in on when it was made, but just pretend to know all about now. :p
Back at Jesse's house, they both let me hug them goodbye (Allie offered the handshake first and then I said I had to hug and she was really happy, because she also loves to hug and just offers the handshake out of respect for other people - screw respect, I say ;) ) and Allie and I also did the man hug and other macho things, because that's some funny shit, and we all said our goodbyes and drove off.
We returned to our BOO, even though it was now after dark and the park was "closed", and snuggled on one of the benches near the side of the park, under a great tree. Tim had his arm around me and I put my head on his shoulder and we held hands and it was the most peaceful moment of my life. Moments. It stretched on for a very long time, just pockets of talking and silence and this comfort that stretched over all of it.
There were some potheads and loud teens walking through once in a while but other than that, we were pretty alone. The tennis courts had some people playing for a while, but I hardly noticed them. And then Tim got the best idea ever. He wanted to lay down on the grass and look up at the stars. So, we got up and decided to walk over to the middle of the football field, because that had the best grass.
Course, it also had the sprinklers turning on in various parts of the field, on timers. Luckily, I have no story about how the sprinklers all of a sudden turned on by us, Tim happening to be sitting right on one of them, so that he jumped up and ran away, while I just sat there getting drenched and laughing hysterically.
But we talked about how funny that would be. :p
So, yeah, we just lay there on the grass, right next to eachother, holding hands and looking up at the sky and talking. We said a lot of things. Tim asked me if he could kiss me later, afraid that if he didn't bring it up now, he'd lose the nerve. Which is good, because I would never have the nerve [face_wimp] and I said yes, of course.
And it's just ... that entire time on the field, I won't bother trying to reproduce it here. And there are certain things that I just don't want to share with anyone else but Tim. Certain things we said and just that incredible feeling of being completely content and of everything being just as it should be.
Then we were both cold, because it was getting cold and the grass was really cold, so we walked back to the bench. Where we sat holding hands and not saying anything. After a while, I said "I feel like we're both waiting for something"
"Aren't we?"
"Yes."
Gah. But I was so nervous. The whole kissing thing ... I'm not very good at it and I wanted to be so good for him. He kept staring at me and I kept avoiding his glance, terrified. Seriously, scared out of my mind. But he kept looking, so I finally looked back up at him and he kissed me. And then I kissed him again.
But I feel awful because I immediately said "horrible" because I felt like I was horrible. And clumsy. And just .. bleh. I LOVED kissing Tim. Because it was Tim and I got to put my hand on his face and touch Tim. And that's just .. how it is. But I just ... kissing just makes me incredibly nervous and I'm certain I'm no good at it.
The good thing, though, is that we got the first one out of the way. A lot of firsts out of the way, at this point, actually. And now we can just practice until we're both perfect at kissing. :p
I'm still sort of embarrassed about it and I just keep thinking about it and my stomach sinks, because I really wanted to be perfect, because the rest of the night was so perfect, but Tim said this:
"I think we'll start simple and build up as we feel more comfortable. take it in stages. you know? as with everything we've done, it seems."
and he's right and it made me feel slightly better about it and really, it was just a kiss. Not the end of the world if it's not perfect, right? Right. [face_sortofconvinced]
And anyway, as far as I'm concerned, the night was perfect. Unfortunately, a little bit after our kiss and just more sitting on the bench, together, I had to drive him home and leave. We hugged, said our goodbyes and that was that.
Oh, actually, we had some more dumb fun with the passenger door. He opened it (again! the door that doesn't open, supposedly, and he opened it twice!) and we thought it wasn't closing again cause the door ajar light was on. Then I looked over at the driver's side door, standing open and we both stopped trying desperately to close the passenger door. I closed the driver's side, the door ajar light went off and we both started laughing at our combined ditziness.
Anyway, now I have these memories to tide me over until I get to see him again. Actually, I will have the memory of that day forever, as vivid as it was yesterday, in 20 more years and 20 after that. I'm sure of it.