Wow am I a horrible bag of...well now I forget
It’s taken me well over 10 years...10 FREAKING YEARS!!!...and a life that consists of Tha Wife and Tha Dog (Hey, in my blog, family members get this “Tha” treatment - don’t ask me why…forget to hit spell check one time and you suddenly have a hook) being the only breathing beings I see on a consistent daily basis, to come to this realization: People don’t really know the real me.
I say this because I don’t think I’ve ever really opened up to anybody outside of Tha Wife and Tha Dog, well and Tha Immediate Family to a lesser degree. Like every other human, I’m insecure. Of course, I mask it with humor, or lame attempts at humor. Such lame attempts can be seen above and soon below, I’m sure.
Now having written that, don’t expect me to just throw everything that makes up my life and the “real” me onto this blog. That’s not how I roll, or some other passé hip-hop phraseology. I will, however, put forth some nuggets of wisdom pertaining to who I really am.
So here are a few of, pardon the horrible phrase, Dave’s Nuggets (which I’ve heard go great with Bleu Cheese):
Yes, I’m now an owner of a Puggle. And yes, we named him Bonzi, after a Ball State basketball player who now thugs it up alongside Ron Arrest, excuse me, Artest. Funny thing is, down here in Georgia, no one knows who Bonzi Wells is, so the vet constantly calls him “Bonsai”. Hmm, ‘kay.
Yes, I watch pro wrestling. In fact, I’ve watched it since I was 12 or so I think, back when my parents tried to forbid me from watching it. So what did I do? I went downstairs and watched it with the sound turned down just enough so only I could hear it (must account for my ability to distinguish faint noises), and if I heard someone coming down the stairs I’d quickly change the channel (and they thought I was watching porn, HA...suckers). In fact I get such a kick out of some of the wrestlers’ intro music, I have some on my iTunes and iPod. Sometimes when I’m getting ready to start working, one of them starts to play. Imagine me sitting in front of a 21 inch monitor, and Triple H’s music starts to play. Makes me want to swig some water and just spray it all over the place. Okay you have to know about wrestling for that one.
Yes I read the whole encyclopedia when I was 7. Looking back I had several reasons for this. One, I was bored and had no cable or satellite TV or video games. I’d run out of books to read, and that was all that was left. Secondly, in retrospect it helped me win arguments with my Dad. Before I read the encyclopedia, Dad would refuse to acknowledge defeat in any disagreement. Finally I could reference cold hard facts and point them out in a book, and he finally had to admit he was wrong about something. What he first admitted defeat about I’ve long since forgotten, but that was a monumental feat in the family. Thirdly, and this took years to develop…
I’m a lazy son-of-a-bitch. I put things off and half-ass stuff waaaay too much anymore. I work at home, and my attire consists of t-shirt and shorts. Hell, Casual Friday to me means I don’t wear socks with my Tazmanian Devil slippers. I’ve gained at least 15-25 pounds (I don’t know exactly how much on account of I’m too lazy to step on a scale) since college, and while I complain about it and lament over my newfound man-mammaries, I’m too lazy to, gasp, go for a jog!!! Tha Dog is helping, but he can only do so much right now…being a puppy he lays around about as much as I do.
Note: What the laziness has to do with the reading of encyclopedias is this - I never studied for anything in grade school…ever. Didn’t have to. I recalled enough from those encyclopedias to get by with a 3.814 GPA in high school (would have been higher, but I took some classes that were taught by teachers who just plain hated me - seriously, one of my midterm grades in one class said this “I’m not a fan, and not necessarily of this test” - yeesh) and a 1320 on my SATs (I realize that may not be quite as nice now as it was back in my day, but I still think it’s decent).
Well, like most orders of nuggets, there aren’t very many, and people don’t stomach them well. In fact if you made it this far, congratulations, email me and maybe I’ll send you a gift. Although that is fairly unlikely, seeing how as I mentioned before, I am a lazy son-of-a-bitch. The point of all this is, there is more to me than, Dave, fraternity brother, husband, and so on. I'm easy to find, relatively. Email me, or IM me when I venture onto AIM again one of these days. Out of state doesn't mean out of reach.
PS. I know the contact thing goes both ways. Like I said, I'm lazy, but I'm working on it.
AIM- MaloneEPony
I say this because I don’t think I’ve ever really opened up to anybody outside of Tha Wife and Tha Dog, well and Tha Immediate Family to a lesser degree. Like every other human, I’m insecure. Of course, I mask it with humor, or lame attempts at humor. Such lame attempts can be seen above and soon below, I’m sure.
Now having written that, don’t expect me to just throw everything that makes up my life and the “real” me onto this blog. That’s not how I roll, or some other passé hip-hop phraseology. I will, however, put forth some nuggets of wisdom pertaining to who I really am.
So here are a few of, pardon the horrible phrase, Dave’s Nuggets (which I’ve heard go great with Bleu Cheese):
Yes, I’m now an owner of a Puggle. And yes, we named him Bonzi, after a Ball State basketball player who now thugs it up alongside Ron Arrest, excuse me, Artest. Funny thing is, down here in Georgia, no one knows who Bonzi Wells is, so the vet constantly calls him “Bonsai”. Hmm, ‘kay.
Yes, I watch pro wrestling. In fact, I’ve watched it since I was 12 or so I think, back when my parents tried to forbid me from watching it. So what did I do? I went downstairs and watched it with the sound turned down just enough so only I could hear it (must account for my ability to distinguish faint noises), and if I heard someone coming down the stairs I’d quickly change the channel (and they thought I was watching porn, HA...suckers). In fact I get such a kick out of some of the wrestlers’ intro music, I have some on my iTunes and iPod. Sometimes when I’m getting ready to start working, one of them starts to play. Imagine me sitting in front of a 21 inch monitor, and Triple H’s music starts to play. Makes me want to swig some water and just spray it all over the place. Okay you have to know about wrestling for that one.
Yes I read the whole encyclopedia when I was 7. Looking back I had several reasons for this. One, I was bored and had no cable or satellite TV or video games. I’d run out of books to read, and that was all that was left. Secondly, in retrospect it helped me win arguments with my Dad. Before I read the encyclopedia, Dad would refuse to acknowledge defeat in any disagreement. Finally I could reference cold hard facts and point them out in a book, and he finally had to admit he was wrong about something. What he first admitted defeat about I’ve long since forgotten, but that was a monumental feat in the family. Thirdly, and this took years to develop…
I’m a lazy son-of-a-bitch. I put things off and half-ass stuff waaaay too much anymore. I work at home, and my attire consists of t-shirt and shorts. Hell, Casual Friday to me means I don’t wear socks with my Tazmanian Devil slippers. I’ve gained at least 15-25 pounds (I don’t know exactly how much on account of I’m too lazy to step on a scale) since college, and while I complain about it and lament over my newfound man-mammaries, I’m too lazy to, gasp, go for a jog!!! Tha Dog is helping, but he can only do so much right now…being a puppy he lays around about as much as I do.
Note: What the laziness has to do with the reading of encyclopedias is this - I never studied for anything in grade school…ever. Didn’t have to. I recalled enough from those encyclopedias to get by with a 3.814 GPA in high school (would have been higher, but I took some classes that were taught by teachers who just plain hated me - seriously, one of my midterm grades in one class said this “I’m not a fan, and not necessarily of this test” - yeesh) and a 1320 on my SATs (I realize that may not be quite as nice now as it was back in my day, but I still think it’s decent).
Well, like most orders of nuggets, there aren’t very many, and people don’t stomach them well. In fact if you made it this far, congratulations, email me and maybe I’ll send you a gift. Although that is fairly unlikely, seeing how as I mentioned before, I am a lazy son-of-a-bitch. The point of all this is, there is more to me than, Dave, fraternity brother, husband, and so on. I'm easy to find, relatively. Email me, or IM me when I venture onto AIM again one of these days. Out of state doesn't mean out of reach.
PS. I know the contact thing goes both ways. Like I said, I'm lazy, but I'm working on it.
AIM- MaloneEPony