It's official, Barack Obama has been relected as President of the United States. Thank you so much America for not back sliding and voting for a man who believes in equal rights for all, a man who won't tell a woman what to do with her body, and a man who cares about 100% of the American people. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to drink half a bottle of butterscotch schnapps because this has been an incredibly stressful day.