Black Tears
i probably shouldn't start this with a "hello" since 1)I never write in this anymore and 2) even when I did write in it, no one read it. Well. Except luke, sometimes. So I'll say Hi to luke.
Lots of stuff has been going on in the present - Mostly just because it's the end of senior year and pretty much nothing is going to plan. What I mean is - my life is mass chaos. I'm sure everyone at this point is going through this. I'm just trying to survive the next week. One more week and we're done. I'm done with high school. Most people say...oh it hasn't sunk in, or I'm going to cry so hard! yeah right. Not me. I'm done with high school. I'm done with the dramatics, and I'm done with some of the people, and I'm definitely done with the homework - at least for the summer. I know it will only progress to bigger and worse things next year.
Prom was this past weekend. I got really stressed out the day of - as always. I always worry too much. i can't just have fun. I have to worry. I can't really imagine what my wedding is going to be like.I just can't. But anyway, once it started, I had a really great time. I actually danced more than I ever have..in my entire life. And Acutally dreaded the slow songs. Apparently it's law in this country now that you are only allowed to play depressing country songs when slowdancing. They couldn't play some ben or some 'bad day' or goo goo dolls. They had to play george strait and shit. You know, I'm a fan of country. It just got old.
It was cold, but everyone liked my dress. I liked my dress. And my hair. And I love my mommy for helping me make it neat. She really worked her ass off this year helping it be perfect. Which it wasn't, but it was really freaking fun. And that's all that matters.
Well - graduation is rapidly approaching. I do get to speak, which is awesome. I'm doing the welcome speech, so I'm pretty psyched about that. I'm not really nervous right now, just hoping that no one will be bored with me while I'm up there. because you can tell if someone's bored with you're talking. at least I can. When their eyes start to wander or they start whispering. Or sometimes they just get a smile on their face and you know it's just their little way of secretly encouraging you and hoping that soon it will come to an end. I don't like it when people get bored with me..
Anyway, next week is finals week. I'm not that concerned, just with trig. I know I have no hope of pulling off a B, so I'm just going to work my ass off to make mrs.manning know that I do try, just sometimes it doesn't work out for me. The rest of my classes will be cake, I hope.
The last concert is thursday with the banquet before-hand. I'm not really that excited, I just want to get it overwith. All of these things that I have coming up are just another bump in the road. One more thing to check off of my list before graduation...
Did I tell you I decided on a final college? Ku, of course. Well, not really 'of course' because I was planning on going to K-state, but I think KU will be better for me. I'm going to live with my sis, jamie, and rin, which I think will be a blast. me, james, and meg are moving in around the 5th of june. I have a job lined up at goodcents down in lawrence, which isn't the greatest of jobs, but it will keep me above water until I can find a different job. Unless I like it. Then I'm going to stay. But I can't imagine smelling of onions all day would really be that pleasurable.
Well let's see.........thats really about it. I mean, I don't really have anything else that I want to share. Just because it's my business and no one else's. So yeah that's my story. maybe more later?
-mal
Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it. -Albus Dumbledore
Lots of stuff has been going on in the present - Mostly just because it's the end of senior year and pretty much nothing is going to plan. What I mean is - my life is mass chaos. I'm sure everyone at this point is going through this. I'm just trying to survive the next week. One more week and we're done. I'm done with high school. Most people say...oh it hasn't sunk in, or I'm going to cry so hard! yeah right. Not me. I'm done with high school. I'm done with the dramatics, and I'm done with some of the people, and I'm definitely done with the homework - at least for the summer. I know it will only progress to bigger and worse things next year.
Prom was this past weekend. I got really stressed out the day of - as always. I always worry too much. i can't just have fun. I have to worry. I can't really imagine what my wedding is going to be like.I just can't. But anyway, once it started, I had a really great time. I actually danced more than I ever have..in my entire life. And Acutally dreaded the slow songs. Apparently it's law in this country now that you are only allowed to play depressing country songs when slowdancing. They couldn't play some ben or some 'bad day' or goo goo dolls. They had to play george strait and shit. You know, I'm a fan of country. It just got old.
It was cold, but everyone liked my dress. I liked my dress. And my hair. And I love my mommy for helping me make it neat. She really worked her ass off this year helping it be perfect. Which it wasn't, but it was really freaking fun. And that's all that matters.
Well - graduation is rapidly approaching. I do get to speak, which is awesome. I'm doing the welcome speech, so I'm pretty psyched about that. I'm not really nervous right now, just hoping that no one will be bored with me while I'm up there. because you can tell if someone's bored with you're talking. at least I can. When their eyes start to wander or they start whispering. Or sometimes they just get a smile on their face and you know it's just their little way of secretly encouraging you and hoping that soon it will come to an end. I don't like it when people get bored with me..
Anyway, next week is finals week. I'm not that concerned, just with trig. I know I have no hope of pulling off a B, so I'm just going to work my ass off to make mrs.manning know that I do try, just sometimes it doesn't work out for me. The rest of my classes will be cake, I hope.
The last concert is thursday with the banquet before-hand. I'm not really that excited, I just want to get it overwith. All of these things that I have coming up are just another bump in the road. One more thing to check off of my list before graduation...
Did I tell you I decided on a final college? Ku, of course. Well, not really 'of course' because I was planning on going to K-state, but I think KU will be better for me. I'm going to live with my sis, jamie, and rin, which I think will be a blast. me, james, and meg are moving in around the 5th of june. I have a job lined up at goodcents down in lawrence, which isn't the greatest of jobs, but it will keep me above water until I can find a different job. Unless I like it. Then I'm going to stay. But I can't imagine smelling of onions all day would really be that pleasurable.
Well let's see.........thats really about it. I mean, I don't really have anything else that I want to share. Just because it's my business and no one else's. So yeah that's my story. maybe more later?
-mal
Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it. -Albus Dumbledore