My weekend was long and nice
This weekend, what a weekend! Made me happy, irritated, upset and on cloud nine.
It began on Friday with my interview which I think went really well. I hadn’t seen Zac since Saturday so we decided to do something and went to the history museum and had lunch. It was a really nice afternoon. Later that evening we returned home, and he was being a bit odd. Not sitting down, and disappearing for about an hour. I didn’t mind much, sat and talked to his roommate. When he came back up instead of sitting next to me, he said “I’m going out with Ryan for a bit, call you later?” I was taken a bit back, because I thought that we were going to spend the whole day together, but apparently not. A bit rude on his part, but I also assumed that spending time with Ryan meant I was also invited. His roommate overheard all this and invited me out with her…. Bad idea on all parts. I didn’t really think much of it, but I agreed and was happy to go out. Zac was not happy in the least. Deanne his roommate is a partier… he was concerned that she would be irresponsible and I would be caught in the middle. But as soon as he heard that I had made other plans, he retracted his want for a boy’s night, and suggested that we meet up later on that night. I thought that was a good idea, Deanne did not. Also side note…. I was texting Lawyer boy all night, he wanted me to come hang out that night, and go skiing with him on Sunday…. (I was a little wounded that night... and of course went for the boy that I dont want (I dont want him right?)) Didn’t see him that night, opposite ends of town, and clearly didn’t go skiing with him, but he sure did want to see me… Long story short, I went out with her and her friends and had an awful time. Zac texted me about tow hours into it wanting to meet up, but I couldn’t since I didn’t drive, and the group I went wasn’t willing to go to where they were. So the night ended at 3 in the morning, with me dragging Deanne into a cab, and we finally made it home at 3:30. I wasn’t planning on staying over, but when I got there and woke him up we started talking and I ended up staying the night. He wasn’t happy that she asked me out; he said that she should had gone through him first. I understand what he means by that sort of, but on the other hand; I’m not his property and I can make my own decisions. But all he was trying to do is protect me, because he knew I wouldn’t have a good time, which I didn’t. I wanted to leave hours before I actually did.
Saturday was nice. We had originally intended going hiking, but with me getting home at 4ish… not really going to wake up at 9 to go hiking you know? So when we finally woke up at 11:30 and got out of bed at 12, hiking wasn’t really going to happen. So we decide on brunch and movies in the afternoon. It was a grey day anyways, and nice to just sit and watch movies. On the drive home he asked if I wanted to try the hiking again, and then we talked a bit more and he suggested that we go see his parents instead. He hadn’t seen them since August when he moved back. He called his mom on the drive home, and mentioned me to her (“Mallory and I are going to come, she is my friend who I have been seeing for a while.”) so the plan was made for Sunday. We got home and watched movies and it was perfect. He said “I love just cuddling with you and watching movies.” (I totally do as well!) After we ate some dinner and finished the first movie we talked a bit. He talked about the previous night, and we were both open with each other. I told him that if he wants to just have a boys night then that is fine, and I understand but he has to tell me and not just assume that I will pick up on his actions, and I need to not assume things either and give him space. He then mentioned that he has reservations about everything. He said “I just don’t want two months to go by and you to think we will get married.” (Insert scratched record here.) I said that’s not my expectation… I know he doesn’t want to get married again, and that is something that isn’t even a concern right now, which I told him and he seemed relived. You can’t base marriage off of two weeks. I learned my lesson there. I asked him about long term relationships, he said he doesn’t see himself getting into one, but that he didn’t count it out entirely. A back note on him, he was married when he was my age, and had two kids. The marriage most certainly didn’t work out. But then he met this girl and feel head over heels for her. They moved in together after only knowing each other for a month. There are still some holes in the story, and I don’t want to pry too much, but they separated and then she passed away last August from a car accident. He says he feels guilty that he wasn’t there for her. He also said and this I caught on too, that sometimes he feels too comfortable around me and pushes me away. I think he is terrified to get into another relationship and be hurt, because his last two he really was. He mentioned that he has tried going to people on it, but they don’t really help, they want to prescribe medication, which I don’t think will help. We both are entering this as broken people… but there is a connection, and I do want to work on this. We can’t fix everything together, we are two separate people and have our personal issues to work on I realize that I am not here to fix everything, but I do think I can help him, and I like him and want to make this relationship work. Am I crazy for thinking this?
After our conversation, the roomies got home, and brought many bottles of champagne. Yea, drank far too much that night and had a very convenient hangover on Sunday morning.
Sunday was fantastic. His parents live about 2 hours away on a farm. They have sheep, chickens and alpacas, oh and they live in a log cabin. From the moment I got there his mother gave me a big hug, and his dad is wonderful. We got along great. His mom made chili, and we talked and they are a ton of fun. Zac was worried that I would be bored, but not in the least. I had a great time! Neighbors came over and we all talked and it was nice. Zac told me when we were in the kitchen that his parents really liked me and thought I was nice. Of course I loved them. As we left both his parents gave me a big hug, and his mom told me to come back soon. Zac mentioned to us all that we would. As we drove away he grabbed my hand, and it was very nice. I didn’t stay over that night, part of me wanted to, and I even asked Zac if he wanted me too. He didn’t b/c he had a lot to do today, and it was best that I didn’t because I had a lot to do. And we had spent Thursday evening together and Fri-Sun straight.
I do like him… so very much. I am fearful of his reservations of relationships, and his past with his last girlfriend…. I want so very much to forget all these feelings that everything is going well, and suddenly he decides it’s over. Happened with Eric, whats to say it won’t happen here? I guess these feelings won’t go away for a while… but with time they will. So we will see. A very eventful weekend with a few downs but they were common ones that were going to come up sooner or later as with every relationship, but mainly it was a good weekend. A good weekend.