Him.
I've never fit in someone's arms so well. Like a puzzle piece. I've never been able to sleep on someone's chest. I've always hated having someone's arms under me while I sleep. But, with him, I can't sleep unless his arm is under my head like a pillow. I fit next to him like I belong there. Sleeping next to him is my "spot." I laugh when I realize that even though he tries to be stubborn, I almost always end up getting my way, even when I don't expect it. I love being able to talk to him. Whether we are joking around or talking about serious issues. I like being around him, even if we aren't doing anything.
I hate how much I love him. I hate how intertwined I've become with him. I hate that we broke up and aren't even technically "together" anymore, yet we act like we are. I hate the uncertainty that comes from not having a commitment. I really don't know how much longer I can manage being in this situation. I love him, genuinely. He is what I want. But, how much can I put myself through? Maybe I need to walk away, even though he's the only one I want.
Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.