(once again) it's been awhile....
Things have been so different in my life lately. I can't really say it's been a good or bad thing.... it's been both really.
This summer is so different. It's been a huge wake-up call for me... being an "adult" has come. The fact that I can't go out & do things that I want to do this summer due to work absolutely sucks. I know I should be all for growing up & moving on in life.. but to be honest, I just don't want to begin the days of working a job that I do the same tasks everyday. I need to find something that can give me a little variety everyday. For now, I am content being in school. Learning. I love it. Especially taking classes in subjects that I'm interested in. Sometimes I feel that deep down that's why I don't settle on a major. Because I'm scared I will pick something I will be miserable doing the rest of my life.
Besides the fact of working... this summer I haven't saw a lot of people that I usually feel like I would be hanging out with. I think I know the reason for some of the change, but it doesn't change the fact that I don't like it. I always thought I could have it all, but I've come to realize that you can't. Every choice comes with sacrifices. And every choice I make, I think about what I am giving up & wonder if I made the wrong one. The pros & cons never seem to favor one side, so I'm just stuck. I am very happy with my life right now, but I still have that emptiness. I know why. And just these past few days, I've decided that there really is nothing I can do at the moment to fix it. I just have to wait it out. Pray & wait. It is in God's hands and eventually all the pieces will fall into place without me even realizing it. Sometimes time is the only thing that can make things better. I must accept that & be patient.....
Today, I went to church with Renee & Emily... which I haven't gone in months. And truthfully, I knew it was something I needed desperately. It just so happened this weekend was the healing service, which only happens once a year. The church prepares for this service for weeks & to see it is really indescribable.. It was amazing. And I'm so glad I got to witness it. You know my favorite saying "God is Love"... well I saw those words in action today. :-)
This summer is so different. It's been a huge wake-up call for me... being an "adult" has come. The fact that I can't go out & do things that I want to do this summer due to work absolutely sucks. I know I should be all for growing up & moving on in life.. but to be honest, I just don't want to begin the days of working a job that I do the same tasks everyday. I need to find something that can give me a little variety everyday. For now, I am content being in school. Learning. I love it. Especially taking classes in subjects that I'm interested in. Sometimes I feel that deep down that's why I don't settle on a major. Because I'm scared I will pick something I will be miserable doing the rest of my life.
Besides the fact of working... this summer I haven't saw a lot of people that I usually feel like I would be hanging out with. I think I know the reason for some of the change, but it doesn't change the fact that I don't like it. I always thought I could have it all, but I've come to realize that you can't. Every choice comes with sacrifices. And every choice I make, I think about what I am giving up & wonder if I made the wrong one. The pros & cons never seem to favor one side, so I'm just stuck. I am very happy with my life right now, but I still have that emptiness. I know why. And just these past few days, I've decided that there really is nothing I can do at the moment to fix it. I just have to wait it out. Pray & wait. It is in God's hands and eventually all the pieces will fall into place without me even realizing it. Sometimes time is the only thing that can make things better. I must accept that & be patient.....
Today, I went to church with Renee & Emily... which I haven't gone in months. And truthfully, I knew it was something I needed desperately. It just so happened this weekend was the healing service, which only happens once a year. The church prepares for this service for weeks & to see it is really indescribable.. It was amazing. And I'm so glad I got to witness it. You know my favorite saying "God is Love"... well I saw those words in action today. :-)