Ennui?
It's strange. My life is near-perfect right now. I'm fairly stable financially, John is here and that's all wonderful... my class schedule is nice and light. I have lots of free time.
Yet I feel weirdly... I don't know. Not sad, exactly. I'm not depressed, not filled with misery. I just feel so... unsatisfied. I seem to look over everything with a critical eye, people I meet, friends, movies, games, the world in general. I seem to be tired of everything-- I have no interest in spending time with my friends, I realize I haven't talked to many of them in ages and I can't make myself care. I remind myself I need to talk to these people if I still want to call them friends, and I think, "But... then I'd have to -talk- to them, and it'd be so tiring."
I can't find any games to play that get me entranced like I used to be. I never see any movies that do anything for me. I don't even have any interest in sex.
John says maybe this is normal, a product of getting older.
I just wish it would go away. I miss looking forward to things.
Yet I feel weirdly... I don't know. Not sad, exactly. I'm not depressed, not filled with misery. I just feel so... unsatisfied. I seem to look over everything with a critical eye, people I meet, friends, movies, games, the world in general. I seem to be tired of everything-- I have no interest in spending time with my friends, I realize I haven't talked to many of them in ages and I can't make myself care. I remind myself I need to talk to these people if I still want to call them friends, and I think, "But... then I'd have to -talk- to them, and it'd be so tiring."
I can't find any games to play that get me entranced like I used to be. I never see any movies that do anything for me. I don't even have any interest in sex.
John says maybe this is normal, a product of getting older.
I just wish it would go away. I miss looking forward to things.