Tech Support=Bullshit Artists
Remember the days when tech support was only for REAL programming problems and used only by IT Gurus?
I miss those days.
Over the last few years, I have called tech support occasionally when I actually did have REAL problems.
The only problem is that tech support has become so dummbed down by general users not knowing their ass from their Caps Lock key, that real support for professionals is very difficult to come by.
Case #1
Meghan has had ongoing issues with her T1 going down (T1=very expensive dedicated line). It took me a year to convince the assholes that I had a real problem not related to my equipment or other vendors. Finally, I had Bellsouth do a Class A and replace all of the smart jacks (read: big fat ethernet card for a T1). 2 days later I call them out again, and they are able to finally trace the issue back to a bad cable pair. Replace cable pair. Problem finally solved. Told ya it was your problem a year ago!!! Why the hell did you argue with me. Now you just look UBER STOOPID.
Case #2
Issues installing a piece of wierdo software that we pay about 1k a year on for tech support. We have not had to call them in years untill 2 months ago. Over the past 2 months they are telling me the reason the software will not install is because there is some sort of permission setting keeping me from doing it. "OK", I says "well then why wont it install when I am logged in as God?" (god/root= full domain admin rights. nothing is hidden I can really fuck up systems in a heart beat)..."Ummm its a permissions issue" they reply. So I spend a few hours over the next two days screwing around with the files on the server that i am installing from and PRESTO.. found the problem. Their .ini file had picked up another extension (no clue how or why but it did). So I rename the file. Bingo I can now install to my hearts content. Bad part about this is that I allowed their techs to remote into my system about a month ago and they did not notice the problem. Now if you are an expert on only ONE piece of software with only about 50 files, wouldn't you realize.. hrm this file looks funny? Hell, I had no experiance with the software, far from an expert, and I figured it out. MORONS!!!! What the hell are we paying you for??? I might as well drop your tech support contract and have my company apply it to my raise I am up for.
Case #3-inifinity...This is the really good one
Culprit=Any company that outsources their support to India.
"Thank you for calling __________ this is Brandon.... (explain my issue)... "I am sorry y'all are having an issue today"..
Rule # A: Your name is not Brandon, its Viral, Apu, Habib or something similar. Get over it, use your real name.
Rule # 2 just because your computer screen sees that I am in North Carolina and tries to use the local vernacular does not mean that I use words like "y'all" or "yonder". I lack the southern accent and I would sound like an idiot using these words. That means you sound like even more of an idiot saying "y'all" with an Indian accent.
Lastly, actually think about the problem and what I have told you. Do not expect to find the answers to a REAL problem in a book or on your computer monitor in you prompter program. You can only tell me to "click on the start button, then click on all programs, then on....." before I get REALLY pissed off. Besides, I have already tried anything your book/support system recommends me trying and I have already told you what steps I have taken to resolve the issue when I was explaining the issue to you. Listen to me then think!! I have a REAL PROBLEM.. not a "Caps Lock accident". I will make you feel dumb if you insult my intelligence after I tell you, I make my living as a SysAdmin.
My Conclusion
There should be a tech support number for real techs and a number for those who barely know what a mouse is. You should be given this Uber High Tech Secret Number after you have successfully bamboozeled, proved wrong, confused or just generaly able to talk over Tier I&II techs heads. That my story all names have been changed to protect the not so innocent.
I miss those days.
Over the last few years, I have called tech support occasionally when I actually did have REAL problems.
The only problem is that tech support has become so dummbed down by general users not knowing their ass from their Caps Lock key, that real support for professionals is very difficult to come by.
Case #1
Meghan has had ongoing issues with her T1 going down (T1=very expensive dedicated line). It took me a year to convince the assholes that I had a real problem not related to my equipment or other vendors. Finally, I had Bellsouth do a Class A and replace all of the smart jacks (read: big fat ethernet card for a T1). 2 days later I call them out again, and they are able to finally trace the issue back to a bad cable pair. Replace cable pair. Problem finally solved. Told ya it was your problem a year ago!!! Why the hell did you argue with me. Now you just look UBER STOOPID.
Case #2
Issues installing a piece of wierdo software that we pay about 1k a year on for tech support. We have not had to call them in years untill 2 months ago. Over the past 2 months they are telling me the reason the software will not install is because there is some sort of permission setting keeping me from doing it. "OK", I says "well then why wont it install when I am logged in as God?" (god/root= full domain admin rights. nothing is hidden I can really fuck up systems in a heart beat)..."Ummm its a permissions issue" they reply. So I spend a few hours over the next two days screwing around with the files on the server that i am installing from and PRESTO.. found the problem. Their .ini file had picked up another extension (no clue how or why but it did). So I rename the file. Bingo I can now install to my hearts content. Bad part about this is that I allowed their techs to remote into my system about a month ago and they did not notice the problem. Now if you are an expert on only ONE piece of software with only about 50 files, wouldn't you realize.. hrm this file looks funny? Hell, I had no experiance with the software, far from an expert, and I figured it out. MORONS!!!! What the hell are we paying you for??? I might as well drop your tech support contract and have my company apply it to my raise I am up for.
Case #3-inifinity...This is the really good one
Culprit=Any company that outsources their support to India.
"Thank you for calling __________ this is Brandon.... (explain my issue)... "I am sorry y'all are having an issue today"..
Rule # A: Your name is not Brandon, its Viral, Apu, Habib or something similar. Get over it, use your real name.
Rule # 2 just because your computer screen sees that I am in North Carolina and tries to use the local vernacular does not mean that I use words like "y'all" or "yonder". I lack the southern accent and I would sound like an idiot using these words. That means you sound like even more of an idiot saying "y'all" with an Indian accent.
Lastly, actually think about the problem and what I have told you. Do not expect to find the answers to a REAL problem in a book or on your computer monitor in you prompter program. You can only tell me to "click on the start button, then click on all programs, then on....." before I get REALLY pissed off. Besides, I have already tried anything your book/support system recommends me trying and I have already told you what steps I have taken to resolve the issue when I was explaining the issue to you. Listen to me then think!! I have a REAL PROBLEM.. not a "Caps Lock accident". I will make you feel dumb if you insult my intelligence after I tell you, I make my living as a SysAdmin.
My Conclusion
There should be a tech support number for real techs and a number for those who barely know what a mouse is. You should be given this Uber High Tech Secret Number after you have successfully bamboozeled, proved wrong, confused or just generaly able to talk over Tier I&II techs heads. That my story all names have been changed to protect the not so innocent.