February 13, 2013: Drop Contiues
February 13, 2013 (Wednesday):
163.8 lbs...
Y'know those feelings of despair, depression, blah and just a sense of being lost. The feelings which are associated with withdrawls of many things which are addictive. SM is one of those drugs of choice which cannot be detected by sobriety test or clinical analysis. So, this morning, that 'drop' started happening. I was expecting it, but not this fast.
I went to the bathroom and stood in front of the sink and opened the zipper to pee. Thank goodness, I didnt. My mind was somewhere else. So, I scooted towards the toilet and did my business. Then I just stood there and was wondering what was going on. My mind was not concentrating at all.
I was still hearing the sobs, and giggles, and thuds and cracks and noises and laughter and screams and all the things which are associated in a dungeon. Anway, I pulled myself together and finished getting ready for work. Oh yeh, work. Another four letter word....like 'love'..'pain"...'fuck'. Cathy fixed my cereal and I ate and never tasted it. I know we also talked...but hell, if I could remember. I hope she is not following some instructions which I may have given her. Or knowing her wicked ways, she might just say that I did tell her to do something and make fun of me. She is good at it. I offered to sell her again at Blak and Blu but hell, I think prospective buyers were afraid of her.
I am seeing glimpses of the whips striking the flesh, a willing flesh, on both sides, and the dance and the swaying of the body and movements. I was seeing the serpentine movements of the single tail taking a bite and leaving a mark and slash and tiny drops of red hot blood. Time seemed to slow down. A flight that high must come down and here I was now, in the muddy shallows of the river bed among crawly things which sting and nibbles painfuly and such is the price of these interaction.
So, I faced this abominal drop and cussed and cursed in all three languages and the another one of my own invention and still didnt feel that well. That is the nature of this beast. But it got to be faced and corraled or leashed or run over or something. I went to the gym this afternoon. I spent 45 minutes on that elliptical machine and sweated like nobody business. Those sad songs were slowing down. I lifted weights and did this crunch and that push and pulled this bar and my body started aching and blood started rushing in a nice way. I must admit, the damn gym kicked my butt but man, it was good kicking.
So, this is the story of start of the drop and partial end of this miserable but always present phenomenon. I think I am feeling horny again.
163.8 lbs...
Y'know those feelings of despair, depression, blah and just a sense of being lost. The feelings which are associated with withdrawls of many things which are addictive. SM is one of those drugs of choice which cannot be detected by sobriety test or clinical analysis. So, this morning, that 'drop' started happening. I was expecting it, but not this fast.
I went to the bathroom and stood in front of the sink and opened the zipper to pee. Thank goodness, I didnt. My mind was somewhere else. So, I scooted towards the toilet and did my business. Then I just stood there and was wondering what was going on. My mind was not concentrating at all.
I was still hearing the sobs, and giggles, and thuds and cracks and noises and laughter and screams and all the things which are associated in a dungeon. Anway, I pulled myself together and finished getting ready for work. Oh yeh, work. Another four letter word....like 'love'..'pain"...'fuck'. Cathy fixed my cereal and I ate and never tasted it. I know we also talked...but hell, if I could remember. I hope she is not following some instructions which I may have given her. Or knowing her wicked ways, she might just say that I did tell her to do something and make fun of me. She is good at it. I offered to sell her again at Blak and Blu but hell, I think prospective buyers were afraid of her.
I am seeing glimpses of the whips striking the flesh, a willing flesh, on both sides, and the dance and the swaying of the body and movements. I was seeing the serpentine movements of the single tail taking a bite and leaving a mark and slash and tiny drops of red hot blood. Time seemed to slow down. A flight that high must come down and here I was now, in the muddy shallows of the river bed among crawly things which sting and nibbles painfuly and such is the price of these interaction.
So, I faced this abominal drop and cussed and cursed in all three languages and the another one of my own invention and still didnt feel that well. That is the nature of this beast. But it got to be faced and corraled or leashed or run over or something. I went to the gym this afternoon. I spent 45 minutes on that elliptical machine and sweated like nobody business. Those sad songs were slowing down. I lifted weights and did this crunch and that push and pulled this bar and my body started aching and blood started rushing in a nice way. I must admit, the damn gym kicked my butt but man, it was good kicking.
So, this is the story of start of the drop and partial end of this miserable but always present phenomenon. I think I am feeling horny again.